My name is Kayla, Kayla Devain. If you see someone being treated like this, please speak up, and be their friend. It's the least you can do. This could be the end result if you do nothing.
***
I remember seeing her in the hallway at school. Her brown eyes wide, clutching her worn grey book bag. A girl was making fun of her hand‐me‐down clothes. Mekenna looked at me, her eyes full of sadness. I wish I had said something...
***
At recess, one of the boys started picking on her. I wanted to say something, but I was afraid that if I spoke up, I would be the next target. Her eyes filled with tears, and her was brown hair falling out of her ponytail. I ignored her sobs, and continued to play truth or dare with one of my friends.
***
After recess I saw her walk towards the girls bathroom, tear streaks down her face. I almost went over to her, but I stopped. What if the bullies turned on me? I wouldn't be able to handle it. I soon forgot about her when Christa (One of my friends) told me that a there would be a new teacher for math.
***
When I got home my mom greeted me with a hug and a kiss, like she always does.
"How was your day?" She asks, pulling away from the hug.
I told her that we got a new math teacher, But I didn't tell her about Mekenna, I still wish I had.
My Mom has curly ebony hair, and light brown eyes. I get my brown eyes from her. Her name is Kennedy. I often wondered, if my Mom's name is a boy's name.
"Mom, is there a snack in the kitchen?" I asked, she nodded her curls bouncing up and down.
I make my way to the kitchen, draping my backpack on the green counter. I drag the wooden stool over to the table so I can eat my snack. My snack consists of cheese and little square crackers. I smile, I love these snacks. Then my mind wanders to Mekenna, she didn't have a snack at recess.
***
I woke up the next morning, stretching out my arms I got up and picked out my outfit. Afterwards I went to the bathroom too brushed my teeth, and get changed.
I admired myself in the mirror, my dark brown hair in a high ponytail, and light brown eyes highlighted with mascara. I walk out of the bathroom, to grab my backpackand to grab my homework.
***
I was at the bus stop, waiting for the bus. As I was waiting, one of Mekenna's tormentors walked up with one of their friends. I wanted to run, I wanted hide. But I stood there, not moving. I looked at the tormentor, she was pretty, I have to give her that. She has light grey eyes, and and Raven black hair. Her friend is cute too, She has dirty blond hair, and hazel eyes. I don’t know their names, and I really don’t want to know either.
I heard grey eyed girl talking about the math teacher, "I think He likes me.”
“Really!” Her friend sounds genuinely interested.
“Yeah, He smiled at me in class when I handed him my homework.”
After a couple of minutes of them talking about the new teacher, the bus finally came. We boarded the bus, I climbed on the bus last. I saw Mekenna sitting near the door, hiding behind her book bag. I sit next to her, she smiles at me, her eyes brown eyes lighting up. I smile back at her.
***
First class of the day is English, I wish it wasn’t. English class is all the way in the back at the school. Opening up my grey locker, I take out my english textbook, and get ready for class.
***
I saw Mekenna being pushed down in the hallway. Her books and essays scattered on the tiled floor, I sent her a pity look and kept on walking. A couple of students laughed at her, her eyes watered than she blinked her tears away.
***
I was at English class handing in my homework to Mr. Hadrem, as I walk back to my desk, Mekenna burst in 10 minutes late...
"Miss Reahem, you are ten minutes late. Please stay after class" Mr. Hadrem instructed her, she nodded her head and walked to her desk.
The classroom has 25 desks in all, five students per row. She has to sit all the way in back, next to the kids that hate her. I got to admit I feel bad for her, she gets picked on a lot. But Mekenna is not the only person that gets teased, There is Zech Derk, Rease Kniyte, Addenne Grive, and a couple of others.
“Miss Devain. What was the book I was talking about?” Hadrem asks me, I snap out of my trance.
“Oh, Oh. Fellowship of the Ring?” It sounded more like a question than a answer.
He shakes his head, and says, “No, we are reading The Two Towers. Miss Devain, please stay after class.” I look down and nod my head, I now know how Mekenna feels.
***
I wait for everyone to leave the classroom. Fear takes over my emotions. What is going to do to me, give me detention, call my mom? I hope he doesn't call my mom, she seems sweet, but get her riled up and… I get grounded.
Now only me and Mekenna are left, “Miss Reaham please go outside, Miss Devain will come for you.” He says to us.
I stayed in the classroom nervous, I have never been in trouble before. I mean never got caught, I mean I've only done a couple of pranks, they were minor! I swear!
“Miss Devain, I understand you’re are a decent student.” He told me, I looked down and mumbled something.
“I’m sorry, what did you say?” He asked me.
“I said, yes sir.” I was still looking at the floor.
“It was a rhetorical question.”
“Oh.”
“Now since you have a good track record, I will let you off. But do not think this will happen often.” He said sternly, I nodded.
“Now go get Miss Reaham.” I nod again and scurry to the door.
I look at Mekenna and tell and her it is her turn, she nods solemnly and enters the room.
***
As I exit the school building, I see Mekenna being shouted at by the greyed girl. I could make out a few words like, Freak, Dork, Idiot, Jerk, Loser, Terrorist, Useless, Ugly, Stupid, Fat… I stop listening when I hear the word fat, Mekenna was not fat! She is so skinny, she could be anorexic! And she is not a Freak, Dork or any of that. I drop my bag, getting ready to go over there, and give the girl a piece of my mind.
I stopped when I saw Mekenna on the brink of tears, it won’t help to yell at the grey eyed girl, what I could do now is comfort Mekenna. Picking up my bag I wait for the girl to walk away, then I run over to Mekenna.
As I reach her, I start babbling, “You know you are Beautiful right? Smart, special, creative…” She holds up her hand and signals me to stop.
“Don’t worry, I won’t listen to her.” I could see in her eye’s that it did affect her.
She was pulling down on her long sleeve shirt, I could see a red line. Shock was the only emotion running through me. Mekenna was cutting herself. I knew she had been bullied, but I didn't know it was that bad.
“Kayla, you okay?” She asked me.
I look her in the eyes, “You're cutting yourself?”
She looks down, “You don’t know how it feels.”
“You know what? I don’t know how it feels. But someone could help you!” I nearly shout.
“I don’t need help! They will ask me how I feel and who is bullying me! And then I will have become the snitch!” She was still looking away.
Anger is now the emotion I felt. Didn’t she know I was trying to help her! “Fine be that way! Don’t come crying to me.”
I walk away, not looking back. I wish I had.
***
Shock went through me once more. Mekenna was dead. Her brown hair was spread over the pillow. The hospital gown was sleeve less, so her cuts were on display. They were neatly placed on her arm, the precision in the cuts amazed me.
Stupid Bully. Gordon Stein, had gone to far. He had punched her in the head, now he is on trail for murder. She should have lived! Maybe the impact was to hard, or the fact that she hit the ground with her head. The Doctors said she would live, if she had the will to. She didn't, and now she is dead. I slam my fist on the arm of the chair. I had had spoke up to the authorities, they would have stopped the bullying.
I realize today is my Birthday but I don’t care.
***
They expect me to tell the people at my school that she was dead.
Tears run down my face, splashing on to my book bag. Stupid Teachers. They knew she was dead they got a notice. But they thought someone close to her should tell the students.
***
I just told everyone, they seemed sympathetic. But I could see in everyone's eyes that they didn't care.
Except three students, I smile at them, they all nod at me.
***
I befriended Zech, Rease, Addenne. And they seem nice, Zech has blond hair and grey eyes, he likes history, and he is sweet on me. Rease has black hair and light green eyes, she likes any type of sci fi novel. Addenne has blue hair (don’t ask) and hazel eyes, she loves science.
***
Today is a year after she died; I am visiting her grave, by myself.
Kneeling down, I placed some roses on the top of her grave, one Black Rose, one White Rose, and a Yellow Rose.
Then I looked at what was engraved on her tombstone.
Mekenna Grace Reaham.
Age: 12
2002-2014
One Rose in a Bush of Thorns.
Above that was an Angel holding a rose.
Swallowing a started to speak, “Hey Mekenna, You know the school has a no tolerance towards Bullies now, It doesn't stop the Bullies, but at least the adults are trying to help. Your Dad misses you, and so does your brother.” I take a deep breath, “we all miss you.”
Then I spot a piece of paper underneath a small rock. Taking it into my hands. I open it.
No-one cares, you were attention seeking anyway. You probably edged Gordon on. Rot in Hell!
-Anonymous
With angry tears I rip up the note. How could someone be that insensitive.
“Mekenna, I am sorry for not speaking up.” And with that I left.
***
I found out that Mekenna had a passion for singing, she loved apple pie, and she hated math with a passion. Her Brother told me.
The Math teacher was fired, apparently he made fun of Mekenna’s death, and said she deserved it. He never liked her, maybe it was her distaste for math, or the fact that he also liked the person that bullied her.
***
Today is My 14th Birthday, Mekenna died two years ago.
***
I am now 26, And I am Married to Zech. He proposed two years ago. I found this journal at the bottom of my suitcase. I have a little girl named Mekenna Kayla Derk, and a little boy named Michael Zech Derk. I work as a teacher at my old school. Mekenna is two years old, and Michael is a newborn. I visit Mekenna’s grave every year, but this year I will take Mekenna Jr. with me.
The end.
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139,604 Literary Works • 672,617 Reviews
Wow! This story is amazing! Quite long, but written so vividly. The end was heart wrenching for me, but in the end, they all remembered her. I even wrote my own quote about how and what bullying is
"To everyone out there who is bullied, people mainly bully to make themselves feel better. People in our society want to hurt us. We have been hurt emotionally and physically. Most of us have been bullied. Some of us have thought of taking our lives just because of the act of bullying. Why would people want to bully others? They want to feel better about themselves. They want to try to be popular. Bullying will never make you popular. Now I'm sure everyone has experienced this pain. Ignore them. Ignore the people who are in your life that harm you. Nobody should have to go through this. Everyone needs someone special in their lives, like a friend, a relative, a stranger who treats you well, or even a toy. I know this message is a little lengthy, just I hope you read this and I hope it makes you feel special. Everyone is special."
This message I wrote is SO true.
Hi, RaveMoonStone! This is Pinkie here for a special review for you tonight! I like to be your lovely reviewer if you don't mind.
I like this story. It is very interesting to read about. I enjoyed the Kayla's POV of her seeing Mekenna being bullied. I felt bad for Mekenna. She doesn't deserved to be bullied. Seriously, dude, I really hate seeing people being bullied including myself in it. Also, I hated the Math teacher and the students who bullied her. They shouldn't treat her like crap. I glad the Math teacher got fired, and I wish the others got something that they deserved. And I can't believe that I really got into in this story lol.
However, You have some grammar errors on here. Well, the others got them pointed out so I will leave it alone.
Anyway, this is very enjoyable masterpiece that I read. I enjoyed this diary of yours. This is very good and lovely. I like to read more from you. Have a nice day!
Awesome Job!
Cheers
Your reviewer, Pinkiegirl13
P.S: Happy Review Day!
Hey there, i think i wouldnt review this if i didnt like this so much.
Im really amazed. Being observer is a really serious and important topic in a modern society. People have started standing aside telling themsevles the persons in danger dont really need help. People tend to look away, and its no good.
I think being observer can apply to many other things other than not helping. Like when you want to say something, but instead you stay silent. When you want to do something that is unusual, or nice, but then again you dont becouse noone else does it.
I also like the form of a diary, it suited the theme well. Grammar mistakes are no problem, its not like anything here is published, these are just the drafts.
Real good job!
-Alchemist
PeanutPhoebe here to give you a review! So great idea with this story here! It's a pretty interesting storyline. While there were A LOT of grammatical mistakes, (most of them with commas) those can be found and taken care of easily. Question: What were all the *'s in there for? Maybe to separate into "chapters"? That confused me. So, there were a few odd pieces in there. Like, how EXACTLY did she die? That part is very unexplained. A simple punch probably wouldn't do that. A hit to the head might cause a concussion, but probably not death. I think you should develop her death just a little bit more. Also, why would she cut herself? That doesn't make much sense. And why would she have to tell the school? it would probably be publicly announced. (Of course, I don't know, since I don't attend a public school either) Anyway, I know this is a lot of nitpicks, but I know this piece has a lot of potential, and so do you!! Something I did like was your repeated theme of "I wish I had." However, at the end, she's a great friend and does not have as many regrets. Great job with this, and keep writing!
This is her journal. So the *** was signaling that it was the next entry.
Ok, got it!!
Hey Raven
Shauzer here reviewing,
For instance, the way Mekenna just died, that was done terribly. I liked the idea, but how did she die? Did she hit her head when she fell? Was it the sheer power of Gordon's punch? I don't know. I know it's your story but I genuinely doubt the teacher would have mocked the student, nobody - especially a teacher - is that incompetent. I think you could have done a bit more description on the mother since she was only in it for one paragraph. You have commas and full stops where there shouldn't be commas and full stops, that ruins the flow in the reader's mind and confuses them, a main reason someone puts down a book. Kayla would not have been instructed to tell everyone at school, that was ridiculous. She might have been told NOT to speak of it, but I'm sure the school was already informed one of their pupils had DIED...
I liked and didn't like this story. By the way, apologies for any offence, I can be harsh. I mean, it was a good story line and I feel you brought the characters to life, no problems there, but there were also so many things wrong with it. I won't delve into the depressingly large abyss of grammatical errors, I'm sure you can pick them out. There were story mistakes, lots of them. As a guy who specializes in story writing I know
You worded some things wrongly, for example, when you were talking about how you told everyone of her death, you repeated 'everyone' where it was unnecessary. Also, when you were talking about how Mekenna didn't have a snack, you should have left it there. This would have been one of my favourite parts but then you kind of ruined it by saying a lot of kids didn't have snacks... rendering that paragraph pointless. Also, I thought the way she left the note there went really against how strong her feelings about Mekenna's death were. Her ripping it up, seeing through a blur of angry tears, that would have been nice. But the fact that she just left it there? I didn't like that.
Other than these few mistakes - among others - I thought the storyline was nice, and there were a few instances where I saw some really nice potential in your writing. Keep your chin up after reading the review, I know it wasn't the most positive but it was a looong story so there was room for a lot of mistakes. Your writing gets better before it gets worse. Believe me. Keep writing, because under the things I've brought to the surface - which you should try to remedy - you ARE a good writer.
Yours in ink,
TS
Thanks! I have never been to public school or dealt with a friends death. So your Review was really helpful.
Glad
was waiting for a string of complaints 
If you're really only ten this was a great piece, you should be very proud.
Thanks!
I liked this story. It was depressing but maybe someone will read it and realize that telling somebody could help. I also really like you're skipping to different parts, the fact that it's not all one continuous piece. It's really unique.
I want to tell you that you have a lot of grammatical and spelling errors. I know it is very possible that it could just be how it was typed out. But I just wanted to let you know so you could check it over. (I haven't read any of the other comments so sorry if I'm repeating stuff.)
You spell names very differently.
Good story.
I didn't really like Mckenna, so I went with Mekenna. I lost the book that helped me with grammar.
Raven,
PS. Thanks for the review!
I didn't really like Mckenna, so I went with Mekenna. I lost the book that helped me with grammar.
Raven,
PS. Thanks for the review!
Such a heart-breaking tale. It connects with almost everyone. I was also one of them who never spoke against the bullies and I regret that. The story is extremely emotional and has a very personal touch to it.
Like mentioned in the other review you can make some minor changes but overall the story is extremely touching. Specially climax where your MC has named her daughter after Mekenna.
This is a superlative story. Keep writing. Very well done!
Thanks!
Hi there!
So I think this has a lot of potential. Oh, man, when I got to the part where Mekenna was dead and it turns out she was only twelve...oh, man. That's so sad.
And I love the fact this is told, not from Mekenna's perspective, but from the perspective of someone who saw her being bullied but didn't speak up. That makes it more powerful, more reflective of ourselves--because whether or not we've been victims of bullying, we've all seen bullying happen without doing anything about it.
Now, that being said, there's a lot of work that needs to be done with this. For example, you switch tenses a lot--sometimes the story is in past tense, sometimes in present tense. And I don't mind that Mekenna was actually killed by one of the bullies instead of committing suicide (as we would expect from the way the story is going), BUT if a twelve-year-old boy punched a twelve-year-old girl so hard that it killed her, he would be in some serious trouble.
Obviously he can't go to adult jail, but definitely juvie. So in that case there should be some sort of mention in here about what kind of trouble he got into for killing this girl. It can just be a sentence, nothing huge. Just something like "Gordon Stein had gone too far. He had punched her in the head; now he was on trial for murder/manslaughter/whatever, but I didn't care about that. I just kept thinking that if I had spoken up to the authorities, maybe someone would have stopped the bullies."
You can word it however you want, but that's an example for you.
Also, just a nitpick--rather than having her age explicitly stated on the gravestone, which is a bit unusual, go ahead and pick out some dates. Like, she was twelve so it could be "2002-2014" if you want the main body of the story set in the present, although if you want 26-year-old Kayla in the present instead then the dates would be more like "1988-2000."
The writing itself could use a little polishing, and I think we could know more about Kayla and Mekenna's personalities. But you've got a good start here, definitely a good story. It just needs some revision and cleaning up. Keep up the good work!
Blue
Thanks!