Soul's Decay : Chapter Twelve

by mephistophelesangel

Published April 28, 2014

12+ Violence

In Soul's Decay

*Special thanks to the editor, K. Z. (kept anonymous)



Chapter Twelve

991

The forest was on fire.

It was an eight-tailed fox with black-singed fur who ran to inform the others, her green eyes glinting wildly with shock and bloodlust. Lin went to Dominic first, who was draped over a branch, not yet asleep nor needing one, and watching his wounds heal very, very slowly. He jumped off the branch, snarling in anger, then ran off, deeper into the forest. Lin cocked her head with a confused whine, for the nine-tailed fox seemed to be heading to the Dead Area, but soon rushed to where she could feel Jia resting.

Jia was calmer than Dominic in her reaction but only slightly. She narrowed her eyes, stomped her paw against the ground once and with her sapphire fur bristled, sprinted away without a sound.

Lin could feel excitement coursing through her veins but forced it to have control. She was afraid, yes, but she was going to witness the nine-tailed foxes fighting, as strange and ill-tempered as they were.

It was going to be spectacular.

Mason found her before she found him, in a way. He bowed lightly to her in greeting, and she bowed back, her ears pricking up in welcome. “I smell fire, Lin.” He whispered tensely, his vivid green eyes melting into gold. “Is the forest…?”

Lin yapped in confirmation and her smooth, yellow fur stood up in anger for the invasion although her eyes were full of excitement yet fear.

“No.” Mason breathed and ran off with Lin at his side. While they sprinted to get out of the forest and access the damage, Lin took a sneaky look at Mason and saw his eyes nearly tearing up. She blinked in wonder. The smoke isn’t even in his eyes yet, so why?

They both could see the flames by the time Lewis joined them. He had on the clothes of a Hunter yet it seemed like he was not so comfortable in it, and he seemed uncertain of something. Mason didn’t look at his brother and neither did Lewis as they ran.

“Where’s Dominic? Abel and Jia?” Mason asked quickly before they could reach the lines of the younger trees that went around the entire forest like a barrier. They were, presumably, on fire. “We need them now.” Lin gave him a grave look and stopped, letting the other foxes go ahead of her, changed into the mortal form she favored the most — frizzy platinum hair and soft brown eyes that betrayed her nature, with round, not-quite-teenage face — and rushed off to catch Mason’s stride, openly ignoring Lewis.

“Dominic’s somewhere deep in the forest,” she informed him, “Jia is probably out there and Abel…” She scowled to herself darkly. “I really don’t care.” It wasn’t as if she, or any other foxes, favored his presence in the forest.

Mason nodded. “Let’s first see if it is an attack and if it’s the,” he glanced at his brother, “the Hunters who are assailing us. Tell Lewis that he doesn’t need to fight against the Hunters if it’s them.” Lewis didn’t look at him but Lin could see his grimace. “Tell Mason that I can make my own decision without him telling me.” He retorted wryly.

Lin felt as if she could give anything to get out of the situation. “I’ll go put out the fire.” She declared abruptly and fell back, digging her feet into the earth. Mason twisted his head around to look at her. “Be safe.” He called and then he and Lewis disappeared into the thinning trees.

She veered left and scaled a tree like a squirrel. From above, she could see the flames, hungrily consuming the trees from all directions in a circle. Thick plumes of smoke rose above the trees and consumed a portion of the sky. The forest was screaming and the flames were cracking like whips.

Even as Lin watched, a huge tree fell over with a loud groan and was eaten up by the inferno. She narrowed her eyes against the smoke and jumped down from the tree. How am I supposed to put that out? The answer was simple. She couldn’t.

Then she saw the black-clad mortals with glinting weapons of various shapes, sizes and kinds and knew what had happened. A quick look-around informed her that no other foxes were out of the forest, not yet. She had to stop Mason and Lewis from running straight into a mob of Hunters, unprepared.

Pulling only the essence of her fox out of the human disguise forcefully, something that she had never done before, she yowled loudly in warning, intending it to be heard by any foxes in the forest. It jarred her own skull yet she didn’t stop. Hunters, she put into her message, they’re here. Attack. Prepare. Another unrecognizable yowl joined in, but she could feel it in her bones that this fox was powerful. A nine-tailed fox.

Kill, the yowl read, and Lin grinned.

“Give me a very valid reason as to why you are persuading me into killing you right now.” Abel muttered rolling over, blinking his eyes and then narrowing them when he took in Dominic. “Actually, you don’t have to. Just watch me.”

Dominic shook his head firmly and forced Abel to his feet, grasping his shoulders distastefully and pulling him up. The flesh was crusted with brown, dry blood. “The forest is burning.”

“And you’re telling me because…?” Abel inquired, glaring at him. Dominic blinked at him and he frowned lightly.

“Because I want you to fight off the Hunters.”

“You want me to. Where’s my opinion in this damnable matter?” Abel shot back and Dominic growled angrily. He was wasting so much precious time.

“Mason loves this forest.” He replied, his body longing to run to the blood and the fight. “He and his father and the halfbreed lived in here and it’s the only thing of his past he wants to hold on to.”

For a moment, Abel looked like he was considering it. He looked up, his face carefully blank. “I see what you’re trying to imply.” His lips twisted in an emotionless smirk. Dominic nodded once.

“I’m glad you do.” Abel snorted at him.

“‘I’m glad.’” He mocked. “Of course you are.”

Abel turned, but before he did what he was planning to do, he looked behind him at Dominic, who wasn’t moving. “That time you talked about. The right time to kill me. Is it now?” He asked, and Dominic didn’t miss the slight edge in his voice and the flickering of his eyes.

“Maybe.” Dominic told him. Abel had a light, almost sad smile on his face as he seemed to travel across memories and time.

“If it is, you can expect no fight from me then.” Dominic tried his hardest to read his face and eyes but he couldn’t, to his frustration.

“Why have you become so—“ Dominic began and Abel flinched, but a sharp bark of pain cut through their reactions both.

Abel shivered lightly. “That sounded like Mason.”

Dominic said, “It is Mason.”

They looked at the same direction at once and only a second later, Abel’s feet found the ground a dozen meters away from his previous spot and Dominic was ahead of him. The bark faded into nothing, or at least nothing that Dominic and Abel could hear. “To the karasu, damn it,” Dominic muttered under his breath, dug his feet into the earth a little harder.

Abel seemed intent on outrunning him, Dominic noticed, and he was sure of it by the time Abel skid into a stop right in front of him. Dominic could have leaped over the fox but he chose not to, because of what, he didn’t want to know. “I hope that you’re not going to just barge in and start to kill.” Abel said, slowly. It sounded so bizarre, coming out of his mouth, that Dominic started to laugh before he managed to rein his laughter back in.

“Isn’t that your job?” He said. “Get out of the way. Now.” Abel shook his head stubbornly, his silver eyes flashing a warning at him.

“No. We need a plan.” It made Dominic angrier than he should have been, and he forced himself to not charge at Abel. He found enough humor in the situation to snort.

“Then please inform me of it.”

Looking at him gloomily, Abel laid out his -plan, Dominic mused mentally. “We need a hostage. Going in there and starting to fight will result in a bloodbath. The Last Bloodshed will not be the last. We need the Lead Hunter.”

“And then what? Demand a peaceful union between fox and human?” Dominic retorted dryly. Abel grinned at him, fangs and all.

“No. I hope you know how to shift into a mortal who already exists.” Dominic’s eyes widened in comprehension.

“You mean…” Abel nodded and Dominic frowned in distaste. “I haven’t done it in many years.”

“I don’t care, princess. Whoever gets him first does it. Understood?”

Dominic clearly wished to protest and apparently, so much that he forgot to possibly harm Abel permanently for calling him a name so disrespectful. Abel briefly considered doing it himself -to hell with his ideas-, but decided against it. Dominic had to do it. He turned, and made his body melt into a huge gold fox to let Dominic know that he wasn’t up to any communication except for a mental one -which was to be made in his own head, so he actually had a choice there-. He resumed sprinting before Dominic could utter a word. The other followed wordlessly, contemplating the situation.

When they burst out of the forest, there were many events to take in all at once. First, Mason was clutching his side, his lower lip caught between his fangs in order to contain any sounds of pain. Second, every single foxes who had been in the forest were with their tails out, some foxes and some in human forms, all ready for battle and indescribably tense.

For last, nobody was fighting.

Dominic and Abel slid roughly into a stop, the latter’s fur immediately bristling. The sound rang loud without the forest to mask them, which was burning behind them. The flame cracked and fluttered into the sky. Almost every head turned toward their direction, and both of them heard low whispers of the gold fox, before they were hushed. Dominic glanced at Mason as he and Abel strode forward, the foxes parting for them in mutual respect. Mason was hunched over slightly, on the ground and his knees, his now gold eyes narrowed into pained slits and breathing erratic once he let go of his bloody lip. When he shifted his hands that were pressed into his side tightly to stop the blood from a wound, perhaps, Dominic saw a deep stab wound that could have only been caused by a fast, straight arrow. Mason raised his head, gently stopped a fox who had a terrified look on his face with a raised hand, and Dominic heard him release a sigh.

Dominic tore his eyes away and focused on his enemy before him.

Abel growled lightly in warning as he padded forward boldly, his fur glaring in the rising sun, and Dominic had to give him credit for it. His looked like fresh, steaming blood, not a thousand pure gold strands of silk. That would be a great tool to seduce humans into coming near his sharp-fanged mouth, just a second long enough.

The Hunters themselves were positioned all around the forest with their vast numbers, a shameless army of trained hunters and some hunting dogs, armed and ready. Abel snarled again, and Dominic followed suit. His instincts screamed at him. It -he- wanted the Hunters out, out of sight, nostrils and eyes. This was his territory. Intruders. Intruders should die.

There was no talk. As if the two sides had been waiting for them to arrive, they started to move, flexing their claws, snapping their jaws together to test their fangs and grinding them against each other, or rather fixing an arrow or two on tight bowstrings and fidgeting with swords and daggers, silently whispering commands into hunting dogs’ ears. The dogs were big in size, some big enough to match a three-tailed fox, and the fact that the foxes remotely feared them didn’t help, either.

Abel was acting subdued more than ever. If normal, he should have been laughing by now, grinning, at least, but he was doing neither. He seemed deep in thought. Dominic noted the fact warily - he knew that something was up. The fight, if there was going to be one, would have to be started by a side or the other. Clearly, no group wanted to be the one. Abel had a look of realization on his face and he took a big step, lowered himself onto the ground for a pounce, and for a moment, his muscles rippled, his fur stood up, his ears went erect with attention.

Then he pounced, high, graceful and deadly.

An onslaught of arrows whistled toward him, and Abel dropped down onto the ground in midair and continued to charge. The arrows sailed over him and to the foxes, and they scattered fast, and most of them dodged the deadly airborne weapons. Some fell. Mason was on his feet again, Dominic saw. He had blood tickling down his side and soaking his clothes, but he still stood up. The forest was burning behind him, and his brother just now rushing out of the forest, and he was standing up. Dominic felt strange and didn’t know why he was thinking what he was thinking.

He had forgotten what a real fight felt like. He had forgotten how it felt like to be rushed at with a sword, to feel arrows whistle inches away from his face. How could I? he wondered, for it felt so good to forget. He had also forgotten what blood of an enemy tasted like. He remembered it fast enough as he tore through a Hunter and wrenched out his entrails by teeth, ripping it out of his mouth with a hand as he continued running.

There were so many songs. Daggers and swords and arrows sang, the wails and screams and yelps and yowls of both humans and foxes were songs, and the winds, picking up strength and chilling to the bone, sang also.

So this was why Abel laughed when he killed.

The sudden realization brought him to a short halt, revealing him as a target, but then he nearly stumbled forward to escape the invisible threats. He looked around for Jia. She was holding out well on her own, a fearsome beast on the field, slashing and biting and killing like a tornado. She caught his eye, blew him a mocking kiss and then turned away to swat away a dagger. Mason was near her and he was seemingly fighting for his life. He was snapping at everything that came around him, his actions powerful but young. His eyes were bleeding gold. He was hurt, his instincts were taking toll on him, and he could attack his own side soon enough.

He seemed to be in control, so Dominic left him be.

Before he knew it, Abel was back at his side. He had blood all over his body, the black tip of a tail stood out stark, and he was grinning. Dominic couldn’t help the tension of his body at the sight of Abel, for they had quarreled so much, that his body remembered the wounds, the bites, the glares, the snarls. Luckily, Abel seemed interested in the Hunters more than him. Another bloodshed, now Abel sounded amused. I told you that there would be another one. I told you, told you, told you. Dominic fought back a shiver.

The Lead Hunter was found by both of them at the same time. He was an old man, perhaps in his sixties, but still fit for a fight of life-and-death nonetheless. Abel’s eyes twinkled when he saw the two silver katanas. “So, what did he do to you?” Dominic asked him. Abel ignored him, just as expected. Even as they watched, the Lead Hunter beheaded a tan-colored fox. The head rolled away, being stomped by both paws and feet alike.

Behind him, Mason abruptly screamed in pain, and Lewis’s yell joined his. “Mason!” Lewis was yelling. Mason wasn’t forming any words in particular. “Just stay there!” The halfbreed yelled again, and Mason grunted out something that sounded like, “I can take care of myself.” Dominic blinked and pressed down his fast-beating heart, for he had thought that he heard Jia scream somewhere in there.

Claws against blades, teeth against skin and leather, yowls against shouts.

Abel was looking at him expectantly. When he met eyes with Dominic, he jerked his head toward the Lead Hunter, then back at him. Dominic got it. He had to get the Lead Hunter. With a curt nod, he jumped, stepped on a Hunter, crushing his head, and then landed in front of the Leader on his hands and feet.

Immediately, a katana whistled toward him, threatening to cut his face cleanly in half. Dominic leaped over it, grabbed the blade for a split second and looked at it, then he knew. “Adrian.” He said, mostly to himself.

“Dominic.” Adrian greeted him coldly. He pulled the blade from Dominic’s grasp, and Dominic let go like it was fire before the cow blood could go into his veins.

“Okay…” He shrugged, not looking away from his opponent. “So much for a greeting.”

He rushed forward, and Adrian met the sharp claws with his katanas, forming a tilted cross in front of him. In his defense, Dominic would say that he tried his hardest to direct him toward the burning forest, he truly did. Abel would give him dirty looks, snarl at him for being an idiot, but he could still insist that he did try. He did, but the bloodlust took over him in an instant and he was fighting earnestly, each blows and bites threatening death.

At the corner of his eye, he saw Mason cradling his right hand, or at least where it used to be. Now there was only a bloody stump, the hand from fingertips to the middle of the forearm cut off. The right was his dominant hand. Mason used to tell him and Jia that he would be useless without his right hand, for he was unbelievably clumsy with his left. It was not cut off with a blade. It was tore off with fangs, and in this case, Mason’s own fangs, seeing that he had his very own blood dripping from his mouth.

Dominic would require an explanation later.

Adrian was a fierce fighter despite his age. Just like Dominic, each of his blows meant death if met by flesh, and Dominic was especially careful with that. He didn’t go along well with cow blood. No fox did. Dominic couldn’t land any blows, either. The Lead Hunter wore his name well, it seemed. It was nearly impossible to get close to him, enough to maim, and almost nearly impossible to drag him over to the forest.

But Dominic managed, after being burdened with Abel’s sneers and glares and warnings, the blood rushing around in his brain like a roller-coaster, and a new set of sneers and glares and warnings. Dominic wished, so hard, that he could simply walk up to the damn gold fox and tell him exactly where he could shove it.

It was a hard, tremendously hard process. He didn’t taunt the old Hunter, but rather risked getting cut - dancing away from the twin blades, mere inches away from the katana and him, making Adrian more desperate and frustrated. He was a very experienced mortal and he was wise. Although, too young to even compare to Dominic or Abel, or Jia or even Mason and Lewis.

The forest line was mere meters away when Adrian realized what was happening. When he did, he started to desperately edge away. He didn’t know what would happen but had a gut feeling that it would be bad. Dominic narrowed his eyes at him and pressed on harder, landing some lucky kicks and slashes. He would not be embarrassed by Abel, never.

The fox tails at Adrian’s waist, hanging on his thick, black leather belt, increased Dominic’s anger and will to kill and tear.

Dominic actually didn’t think about the flames up until the time he felt them licking at his back. He never had liked fire. He was more of ice and biting winds, not flames and warm breezes. Once he watched a mountain burn down, and found that it quickened his breath with fear. On the other hand, the ice-covered land of the South Pole calmed him down and he had rolled around in snow, slept in it, ran on ice, and generally had fun. Abel wasn’t fire nor ice. He was the shadows, not belonging to anything except for the darkness. Even the foxes didn’t like the clinging, mysterious dark, the night. Dominic couldn’t remember if the shadows clung to Abel or if it was the other way around.

A tongue of flame singed Dominic’s tails and warmed his back uncomfortably. The katana slashed a wide, deadly arc and cut inches from Dominic’s crimson hair. The now airborne strands flew up into the air then touched the flames and burned up.

Do it now. Abel warned him. Sighing in barely contained anger, Dominic sped up his movements. He forced himself to step quicker; bite deeper; slash with more force; to focus on the ultimate goal. The forest, though, was getting farther away from him, and a look of relief and victory was settling on Adrian’s face. “Not so easily.” Dominic grunted, and slid along the ground. Another big slash went right over him, and for a second, Adrian stumbled, caught off-balance. It was all that Dominic needed. He grabbed a katana, wrenched it out of Adrian’s hand forcefully, and threw it far, far away, where it disappeared soon enough.

Yelling, three Hunters ran to Adrian’s aid. One had a bow, the other a dagger, and the other also a slightly longer dagger. Dominic slowly started to circle them, glowering. Was the ‘Lead Hunter’ so weak that he needed to be backed up by others? Adrian must have come to the realization as well, because he narrowed his eyes lightly.

“Move aside. This kill is mine.” He told the Hunters and they shuffled to the side reluctantly, and were soon engaged with two foxes that Dominic could recognize - one was the fox who slept in a tall tree, taller than even Dominic dared to climb, and the other one was the girl who lost her brother in the Dead Area. He had fallen down the hole to his doom.

Dominic readied himself for another clash with the Leader, and the mortal followed suit with his single katana. The nine-tailed fox glanced at the cow blood on the blade with distaste. The wind whispered in his ears, carrying an impending doom that certainly wasn’t in it before. Grass ruffled and seemed to dance madly, or rather shake in fear. Around him, the wind sighed again, then took on a high-pitched scream.

Dominic’s breath became heavier, and he glanced around quickly.

Abel was frozen in a clearing made by fallen bodies of the Hunters, and he was staring, his body unmoving and a paw raised in midair. The shiver was barely noticeable if you stared long enough.

He was staring at Mason and Lewis.

He was staring as Lewis pushed Mason onto the ground, onto his knees, and put a dagger under his chin.

Dominic blinked and stared with Abel and listened as the wind sighed. Numbly, he turned away from Adrian, thought that he should be thinking, I should have never trusted the halfbreed, but couldn’t bring himself to think. Adrian seemed confused, followed Dominic’s line of vision, then was more confused. He lowered his katana half an inch, and didn’t attack. Dominic could hear himself breathing, sighing with the wind, watching with Abel. He, Adrian and Abel were the only ones looking, the only ones who noticed. The others were busy fending for their lives.

Trees started to break at the trunks and the black, destroyed fragments of nature slowly collapsed, one by one. The grass caught on fire rapidly. Nobody looked, nobody cared.

For the first time since he could remember, Dominic showed his back to an enemy, and walked away by his own will, as if caught in a nightmare. Adrian still didn’t strike. He was too noble and justified to attack one whose back was turned. Instead, he cursed, took another wary look at Dominic, and found himself another fox to behead.

Mason looked no better than Dominic. He was panting, a hand clutching his bloody stump, eyes wide. Green were gold, black was silver, yet he was in control. Shock. It, perhaps, was shock that tugged Mason back into the world - shock that made his knees buckle, even on the ground, and made his body stay unresistant. Lewis’s face was an unreadable mask. His hands were shaking, his gaze quavering, and the dagger held carefully away from cutting the flesh but close enough to threat. Dominic knew it, right then. Lewis knew, too.

Mason would never hurt his brother. He didn’t know that Lewis was a halfbreed, yet Dominic doubted that Mason would act any different to Lewis than before even if he knew. Mason had always wanted a family, always missed the one he had. He wasn’t going to hurt Lewis.

It sickened Dominic to see brother against brother, using the other’s weakness as a tool to maim. Abel was climbing over the pile of corpses, his ears erect and tails rigid with surprise. Lewis raised his head, saw the two foxes approaching, and pressed the dagger tighter to Mason’s throat. His hands were shaking badly, and he drew blood unwillingly. Both Mason and Lewis flinched as a droplet of red ran down Mason’s neck.

Dominic quickly started to weigh the situation. The dagger was not coated with cow blood, which meant that Mason wouldn’t die if stabbed in anyplace else except for the throat. Mason’s right hand was disabled, so he would not be able to fight like he normally would.

If Abel and himself both jumped, if they combined effort, they might be able to save Mason. Whether or not Lewis would be able to bring himself to actually stab his own half brother was a whole another story.

“Don’t even think about it.” Abel snarled next to him, and Dominic was so badly focused on Mason and Lewis that he nearly jumped. The gold fox was now in the form that he liked the most again. Just this time, his face didn’t seem quite right - not old, nor young, nor just in between. Those times were when Abel actually wanted himself to look mysterious to his preys or if he was just extremely shaken. In this case, Dominic guessed that it was the latter.

“Listen to him, h- Lewis Agar.” He added his voice into the mix, making sure that he would be heard. “I will be happy to assist Abel here in your untimely death.”

Lewis didn’t budge. “I have made a choice.” He told Dominic and Abel. “I choose the Hunters. They accepted me, unlike the foxes. They made me feel like I was not a waste of space. You did.” Mason’s eyes hardened, and he tried to shake his head, but Lewis held the dagger closer. “And Mason. After nearly a thousand years, we meet again and all we do is bicker. I know it now. I don’t need a brother. If I kill him here, the tie will be severed.”

Dominic held out a hand to stop Abel. We both care, he told him, so wait. Abel bristled but kept his mouth shut and feet on the ground. Lewis didn’t seem to notice the interaction, nor the light glow that marked him a fox slowly fading around him. His eyes dulled, and Dominic felt the five tails Lewis had decrease to one. A choice for himself.

“I do not feel sorry for you,” Lewis announced, the dagger starting to shake even more. Mason winced. “I know that you will abandon me just like all the others. You’ll never understand. I…I will hang your tails on my belt, so that I’ll never forget, so that I’ll never be seen as a fox again.”

Mason strained to look back at him, but Lewis didn’t move the dagger. “What do you mean?” He whispered brokenly. Dominic couldn’t see his face, but could feel the tears in his voice. “I…I never…”

“You know what.”

“No, I don’t. You’re a fox, not a Hunter. You don’t belong to them, you belong with us, with me, your brother.” Mason replied.

Angrily, Lewis scowled at him. “Half brother, Mason.” Mason let out a sharp breath.

“What do you mean?”

If his hands were not occupied, Lewis might have slapped himself. He didn’t give Mason a response for a long time, and didn’t seem like he intended to give one. Dominic’s body tingled with nervousness. Mason was starting to shake. “Explain. Please. Please, explain to me… someone… something…”

Dominic shook his head. “I’m sorry, Mason. I swear that I will tell you when it is right to.”

Screams around him made it hard to concentrate. Abel shoved away Dominic’s hand in front of him and growled. “Scandal. Release him at once or you will pay the price, I will make sure of it.”

Lewis glared at him. “Isn’t what you did also a scandal? Murderer.”

Dominic shot Abel a pointed look. “Don’t act rash when a life is at stake.”

Abel ignored him, again. “If you move that dagger,” he shouted. “Your hand will be gone when you blink again.”

Lewis moved the dagger even closer to Mason’s pulse. “I seriously doubt that you’ll reach me before my brother’s neck is separated from his body.” He told Abel calmly, all the shakiness gone from his eyes and limbs.

Abel narrowed his eyes dangerously. “You son of a-“

The job of holding Abel back fell to Dominic again, to which he gladly complied.

“Find yourself, Snow.” He hissed lowly. “Stay composed, just the way you were, and don’t rush.” Abel didn’t look at him, but told him with his mind, for he didn’t wish to be heard by any others; I killed his parents and I don’t regret it, but I will regret it if the only one who might want me here dies because of me.

Dominic blinked in great incomprehension. Because of you…? He replied, and Abel inhaled through his nose angrily.

I practically brought him here.

“Oh.” Dominic said. Then, he inquired to Lewis, “What do you want?” after he regathered himself.

Lewis snorted. “Nothing.” He gritted out. “It isn’t like you two are Mason’s guardians or something. This is family business.” Dominic and Abel opened their mouths at the same time, but surprisingly, Abel let him talk when he noticed.

“Family business?” Dominic yelled, unleashing his bitter fury on Lewis. Mason looked lost. “Killing your own brother is family business?!”

Shaking his head, Lewis raised a free hand to tangle it in his hair, grinding his teeth together so hard that it might have broken. “Half brother, half, half, half!” He hollered back.

What half?!” Mason yelled between Abel, Dominic and Lewis. Anger was also creeping into his voice.

“Enough!” Dominic bellowed, nearly cradling his head in his hands in dismay. “Shut up!” Without waiting for any response, he went on. “So, what are you going to do once you stab him in the neck? Anything but live, I hope. What if you release him right now? Abel might still kill you. Mason will hate you. I will, for once, assist Abel.” Lewis flinched, and Abel looked at Dominic incredulously. “Look at what you’ve done, child.” He continued. “You just turned against your own brother, turned against your blood, and turned to them. You will never be accepted again. I swear it.” His eyes were cold by the time he finished, but to his disappointment, Lewis didn’t flinch even once.

“What if I’m not going to kill him?” Lewis sneered back. “What if I’m just going to take him hostage to bait one of you two out to kill? Since it seems like you care for him oh so much. Besides - you are losing.” He swept his hand wide in a half circle to show that the Hunters were certainly overpowering the foxes, little by little. Dominic and Abel had to be helping out in the battle, or true to Lewis’s words, they would lose.

“You have never seen me and him working together.” Dominic retorted, curt and cold. Lewis nodded in agreement.

“I haven’t. Because you two can’t. I know why.”

As much as he hated to admit it, Dominic also knew why. Some people just weren't meant to be in the same place at the same time. We’re stuck here. If you have a plan, tell me. Abel told him. Dominic gave him a barely noticeable shake of his head.

Meanwhile, Lewis and Mason were conversing silently under their breaths. Mason seemed confused and angry, Lewis cold and uncooperative. Before Dominic could hear a word from the conversation, Mason bared his fangs and Lewis pulled away. Still, Mason hadn’t raised his remaining hand against his half brother, or didn’t bite a good chunk of Lewis out with his teeth that would be sharp as razors and twice the length of a normal fox’s teeth.

“Lewis-“ Mason started, visibly straining to keep composed. He then bit his lips and kept silent. Abel looked at Dominic, straight in the eyes, hard. He seemed to be trying to convey a message. When Dominic’s eyes were kept blank, he sighed and turned away.

“Why Mason?” He called over to Lewis, who frowned, his hands starting to shiver again, as if caught in a cold breeze.

“I already told you.”

Abel smiled grimly, knowing that Dominic couldn’t see it. “No. I meant to say - why not me?”

Comments & reviews · 2
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Deanie
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Deanie wrote a review Review · Apr 30, 2014

Hello!

THE SUSPENSE. I can't wait to find out why Lewis pulled back, and how this war is going to end! I couldn't believe Dominic just gave up on the Lead Hunter like that when he was so close to a win, which possibly could've resulted in the foxes winning the war. But then again, I guess family should be put first... I hope they do win though, somehow... and that they work together and do it quickly now! Because the foxes need it DD: The suspense of this fight is overpowering me... you need to post a new chapter... At first I was going to say this chapter was long but after reading it, it all flew by so fast, I barely had time to note done things that need fixing. It was that good ^.^ Keep it up!

Mason nodded. “Let’s first see if it is an attack and if it’s the,” he glanced at his brother, “the Hunters who are assailing us.


I know what pause you wanted to create there, but a comma isn't the right punctuation mark to do this! Either use - or use ...

“No. I hope you know how to shift into a mortal who already exists.” Dominic’s eyes widened in comprehension.

“You mean…” Abel


Because of the way you've tagged this dialogue it makes it seem like Dominic said the above one and Abel said the lower. I understood it was the other way around but just be careful what you put behind dialogue. Even having Abel said after the first before Dominic's action comes in then it would help us know who is speaking. Same for the latter as well.

For last, nobody was fighting.


I think you mean for once here.

“Why Mason?” He called over to Lewis


It took me a while to mention that the 'he' here was in fact Abel. Maybe use his name.

I love how you got Dominic sort of understanding why Abel loved a good fight. The wall they've built between themselves is kind of tearing down now that their previous fight has used up their anger and now their care for Mason is building up. Even though from both sides they've been keeping secrets as well.

Other than nitpicks I don't have a single thing to critique about this scene when it comes to plot and all that. It's all praise there except... they are in the middle of the fight having this ordeal and no one attempts to hurt them or no arrows are coming their way? That seems unrealistic. Maybe Mason and Lewis are doing this out by the trees, to the side of the fight where it is reasonably quiet but the fire is fast approaching. That way it explains why all this is happening without an attack and it adds time as a pressure to get the situation sorted out.

POST NEXT CHAPTER REALLY SOON.

And let me know, as always ;)

Deanie x

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Snowery
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Snowery wrote a review Review · Apr 30, 2014

Hey!! I'ts me. Again :)

Main Points

then ran off, deeper into the forest.


I just feel that the comma disrupts the flow a little.

“Let’s first see if it is an attack and if it’s the,”


A hyphen at the end of this would help the effect.

, Dominic mused mentally


I feel you don't need this, it just serves to confuse the reader.

For last, nobody was fighting.


That didn't really make sense, did you mean "lastly"?

Wow! This was a really interesting chapter!! I'm sorry I can't say much 'cause I'm in a rush :( Overall, I'm really enjoying your story and I hope you keep going! You seem to have fixed your dialogue problem by starting a new line for each speaker so that's really good!! Can't wait to read more!! Keep it up and happy writing!! :) :)

Silverlock



Born to read. Forced to work.
— Khushi17Bansal