Chapter Six
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West Liverpool High was completely empty and ghastly quiet when Mason arrived. The doors were locked tightly from the inside, and Mason cursed, pulling on it, making the glass doors shake violently. It was Saturday. He should have known better. Then where the hell would he be?
Sighing, he groaned, and spun around. Already, the sense of defeat was washing over him. Two streetlights, not lighted yet, stood on both sides of the school doors, right at the edge of the driveway that ran in a circle around the school building. The tall iron structures were dull and gray, and someone had wrote, SCHOOL SUCKS with a black marker on both.
Mason’s eyes widened slightly, and he stepped back, a shocked gasp escaping through his lips. It wasn’t the streetlights that surprised him. He was sure that the person hadn’t been there a second before. It was a small boy, leaning against a streetlight casually, studying the older man with malice. It definitely wasn’t an emotion that a mortal boy was supposed to host.
Not daring to move, Mason stared back at the boy. He couldn’t sense anything from him -absolutely nothing. The boy could have three tails, five, nine - or he could be just a random mortal child for god’s sake. For a long time, neither of them spoke up.
“Ash Smith. Nice to meet you.”
Finally, the child spoke with a grin, breaking the silence, and extended a hand for Mason to shake. Mason didn’t take it, but took another tentative step back.
“Who are you? Abel?”
He asked cautiously, and Ash frowned.
“Hey, I asked for a handshake.”
“And I’m asking you a question. Are you Abel?”
Mason shot back sternly, trying to sound confident, but the fact that he was shaking like a vibrating phone inside his mind didn’t help a bit. If it was Abel, a slip of tongue, and his head would be on the floor. Only his head.
“Maybe.”
Ash drawled. Mason resisted the urge to turn around and run with his tails between his legs, in both metaphorical and literal way. The boy pulled his outstretched hand back to his side with a disappointed shake of his head, as if saying, Manners, Mason. Bad dog. Ash’s silver eyes found Mason’s in a slightly hypnotizing, unnerving way.
“Maybe not. For all you know, I could be a young, mortal boy with an extended knowledge of your kin. But if I am this Abel you speak of, you should watch your tongue before I cut it off.”
Mason nodded wordlessly, feeling his insides freeze, and shivered unconsciously. If the boy was Abel, he knew better than to ask. The fox was insane, to put it subtly. If not… the fox, or the mortal, would be paying a price.
“Good. Now, what is it that made you run all the way to Massachusetts? Hmm?”
Ash asked after smiling satisfactorily, looking innocent and harmless. Mason gulped, and hoped that when he spoke, it wouldn’t come out as a small squeak, just like how he felt.
“The Hunters, they’re back. We’re gathering and starting to lie low. You are - um, might be, one of our kin, so I came here to… tell you that you can come with us to the hiding place?”
Mason expected an attack, or a harsh refusal, or… something. He didn’t expect Ash to let out a loud chortle, and hug himself, shaking with laughter. Ash looked up with wide, childish eyes, struggling to speak between a full new round of snickers.
“Me? Hiding place? That’s ridiculous! I don’t need to hide! You obviously wasted your time coming here, Mason. You really did. The Hunters can’t get me.”
Ash continued to laugh. Meanwhile, Mason could remember a statement he had declared, just hours before ; “But they won’t kill me. And they won’t kill you.” Something hardened inside his mind with determination, and he stepped forward firmly.
“No, you need to come with me. I don’t want to use force on you.”
Not that I’d be able to, if you’re Abel. Mason added shakily. Ash looked surprised, but quickly put on an emotionless mask. His eyes shifted to silver, but more brighter than the one before, more predatory.
“How old were you, again? A couple thousand years? You’re too young to die. Not yet. Go run to your little hiding place.”
“No. Ash, come with me. Please.”
Mason begged, his knees shaking from the animosity the boy was spreading in the area. A couple pigeons squawked, and flew away noisily. Ash gave an animalistic growl, baring his teeth, and Mason briefly considered fleeing when he had the choice. Why are you trying to suicide? His inner self wondered, cringing with terror. I don’t know! Shut up! He replied, nearly shrieking.
Ash ran a hand through his hair, inhaling deeply. He didn’t look pressured, or afraid, or nervous. He just looked mildly annoyed, as if he was trying to decide if he was going to scratch an itchy spot in his hair or not. At last, he looked up to face Mason.
“Why, little fox? Why are you doing this?”
“Because… I…”
Faltering, Mason looked down shamefully. When he looked up, he could see something in Ash’s eyes, something he never expected to see in them. Not his. It was grief, pain and hope. Mason blinked, stunned, and saw the emotions go away just as quickly. But he knew - he could see it - that it was still there. It’s a chance. Conceivably. Maybe. Okay, probably not. But it’s my only chance to convince him. Mason quickly cleared his throat.
“Because I care about you.”
“What?”
Mason didn’t know who was more surprised - him or Ash. Ash’s face was the exact definition of incredulousness, and his mouth was agape.
“What?”
Ash asked again, and Mason asked the same question to himself. For a moment, studying the ‘child’, he wondered why the others would call him insane. Ash certainly acted strange, but there were many foxes who truly were insane. To him, Ash seemed human. He wasn’t exactly insane. It’s strange. He was just another mad fox to me only a few minutes ago.
“Ash, I want you to come with me because you’re one of the many-tailed foxes. No fox should be left in solitude.”
“I’ve been in solitude for centuries now. Stop caring about it so suddenly. It is starting to make me disgusted.”
Ash replied flatly, turning to leave. Mason desperately ran forward and grabbed the smaller man’s shoulders, and he saw him tense visibly. He gathered what courage he had left to yell.
“Please, Abel! Please! I don’t want you to die, and you will if the Hunters find you alone! Please!”
“Let GO!”
Ash screamed, and Mason nearly flew back when he saw the boy’s teeth grow into sharp fangs. The boy looked at him mournfully.
“See, little fox? You’re afraid of me already. Why do you care if I die or not? Why do you care if the Hunters find me or not?”
Finishing with a violent shudder, Ash looked up into the sky for a second, before turning his gaze to a random point on the floor. Mason blinked rapidly, and tried to come up with a logical reply. He thought that he had won the boy over, and everything could go peacefully without anyone -mostly him- getting hurt. Obviously, he was wrong.
Take a deep breath, he told himself, and prepare to run if it’s needed.
“You’re afraid.”
Mason blurted out, and took three steps forward fiercely. Ash growled like a rabid dog, but didn’t perform any other actions.
“You’re afraid of the Hunters, even if you don’t show it. You’re afraid of being left alone, you’re afraid of being marked as the outsider!”
“Shut up, Mason! Just shut the hell up. I am not afraid of anything. I’ll rip your throat out if you stay any longer!”
“Abel! I-“
A hand, not Ash’s, slammed Mason into the school doors forcefully, cutting off their conversation. As he flew through the air, he heard Ash roar a name -“DOMINIC!” before he hit the glass doors, shattering it. Reflexively, Mason rolled into a ball, shutting his eyes tightly. A particularly large piece of glass pierced his back, and his eyes widened, before he coughed violently and saw blood drip onto his clothes.
Lifting his hazy gaze, he saw a tall figure look over to his fallen figure before it turned to a much smaller one, Ash.
“Mason.”
The tall figure spoke soothingly. Ash snarled at him, and Mason saw nine, golden tails appear behind him. They swished through the air angrily.
“He says no, so you should leave him alone. Right, Ash Smith? Original, by the way.”
He finished sarcastically, and chuckled under his breath. Mason let out a pained groan and tried to stand up, but got a handful of shattered glass stuck in his palm. He hissed, and felt his eyes change to gold.
“You’ve been listening?”
“It was amusing to see you not realize sooner.”
Ash took a step back, and as if to stop him, nine, blood-red tails sprouted from behind Dominic. Mason reached forward, faintly realizing that there were fur and claws on his fingers.
“Stop..”
He groaned. Standing up with a stagger, he reached to his back and pulled out the bloodied glass shard with a muffled yell of pain. He dropped it, and it clattered to the ground.
“Stop, Dominic…!”
“Do not interfere, Mason.”
Dominic growled calmly, but didn’t look at the seven-tailed fox. Mason shrank back, an involuntary whimper escaping from his throat. Dominic glared down at Ash with his white eyes, and smiled.
“So, the Hunters are back, and you’re not hiding. It’s not a very wise choice, Ash. Not wise at all. They must have prepared during the past few millenniums and gained in number. I was about to suggest that you come with us, but it seems that you strongly disagree.”
“Do not get me wrong, Dominic-“
“Ah, I understand, old friend. Then it is how it shall be. We’ll leave you in peace, and you will deal with the Hunters on your own. Without any of our help or a place to hide in.”
Ash looked speechless. His hands curled into fists, and golden fur started to grow on them. Dominic was unfazed, and -Mason didn’t dare to say it out loud- amused, as if he was enjoying the situation.
Groaning, Ash put a hand on his face, and looked over to where Mason was standing. His eyes hardened, and a forced, wide grin found itself on his young face. He laughed lightly, and stared daggers at Dominic.
“Then get your miserable existence out of my senses, Dominic. Take that with you.”
Nodding at Mason’s direction, Ash spun around without a second look. Mason flinched, hurt. Ash’s tails disappeared, leaving a faint, golden light behind that soon followed suit. He was gone in a heartbeat.
Mason felt his wounds heal, and he could get the soreness out of his limbs. He had never been smashed into a wall by a nine-tailed fox before, and he would now advise anyone to run as fast as he/she could if it came to the situation.
“Sorry, Mason. But I had to get you out of the way. Ash was getting dangerous.”
Dominic said sheepishly, putting away his tails, and stared at the spot Ash was standing on. He shook his head, and walked over to where Mason was standing with his back covered in blood. Mason raised an eyebrow, quickly getting ahold of himself again.
“Or was he? To me, he seemed like he was about to give in.”
“Not to me.”
With a careless shrug, Dominic patted Mason’s shoulders.
“At least he didn’t try to kill you.”
Mason felt anger bubble inside his chest. He wouldn’t have killed me, he screamed mentally. He was beginning to open up to me!
Dominic eyed him coldly, as if he knew what the seven-tailed fox was thinking about. “Being killed by a nine-tailed fox is a painful way to go.” Mason could remember his brother, Aaron -as he last went by- saying. Aaron had been always right, so far. At least, until he was killed by the Hunters. Mason would listen to his brother.
Dominic scratched the top of his head, and grinned at Mason like they were old buds who were meeting for a cup of tea after years of being separated. Mason struggled to smile back, and it seemed like it had worked.
“So, got any other foxes you gotta take care of?”
“No, I think the others are doing their job.”
“Well then.”
With a shrug, Dominic glanced at the broken school doors, wincing. He stole a look at Mason’s previously injured back, and ran his fingers over the torn fabric.
“Again, sorry ‘bout that. I wasn’t thinking. Sorry.”
“It’s fine. It’s healed now.”
To prove his point, Mason waved his hand in front of Dominic’s face, showing the woundless skin, now completely healed over. Dominic sighed, seeming relieved.
“Just know this, Mason… Don’t ever confront him like that again. He’s violent and thoughtless. Powerful and cruel. I saw him do things that nobody should be subjected to, believe me.”
“Hmmm. Yes.”
Mason had heard those words so many times from so many people. He was getting tired of it. Dominic gave him an unreadable look, turned his torso around, and waved goodbye.
“Meet you at the hideout.”
He watched Mason nod hastily, and frowned. Nevertheless, he walked forward gracefully, and Mason saw him turn around the corner before the nine-tailed fox jogged out of his sight. Almost immediately, Mason slumped against the school building, and pressed his hand onto his forehead, frustrated. Angrily, he wondered what would have happened if Dominic hadn’t jumped in. Then - Why he wanted Ash on his side so badly.
When he finally recalled the forgotten subject of Annabelle, Mason let out an agitated roar that Dominic surely could hear, and slid down onto the hard, concrete floor.
“Then get your miserable existence out of my senses, Dominic. Take that with you.”
Ash nodded at the seven-tailed fox’s direction, and quickly hid his nine tails. He saw hurt flash in Mason’s eyes, but he forced himself to ignore it. He had no ties with the youngling in any way.
As he walked away briskly, the two foxes soon disappearing from his hearing, he wondered about the foreign, warm feeling that had been there in his heart. Now, it was gone, but it was there, he was sure. Was it hatred? Perhaps fear?
Ash clenched his teeth tighter, and cast a look up at the red sky. Are the foxes who became gods up there, leering at me? Are they arranging a set of events to make me an outcast forever? A flock of birds flew across the sky in a perfect pattern, soon disappearing above the yellow clouds. Ash’s eyes followed the avian animals, questioning, doubting. There’s Dominic, on the lead. Then the other foxes. Mason would be at the back, looking out for any foxes that might fall behind.
He continued to walk, no destination set in his mind. He had nowhere to go, anyway. Abel was the outcast, Abel was the insane fox. He was the outsider, the monster of monsters. Well, they have each other, at least.
The thought left a bitter taste in his mouth.
End of chapter
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Me again :3 Hello!

As usual, another well written chapter. I don't know what to say really... no technical mistakes, realistic interaction and dialogue between characters and packed with action! I'm not sure the Hunters demand this much attention, and your definitely using the heard not seen as an enemy approach so far. I can't wait until the Hunters actually come and we see if they're worth all the trouble these foxes are going into to hide or not.
Hmm... in this chapter Mason is terribly afraid of Abel and seems really unprepared to handle him. But isn't Mason the one who went to go looking for Abel, not the other way around? I think you should bring across how he has thought of words to say before or something, and then forgets them or over-panics in the moment. Which would be understandable and also shows us what a great affect Abel has on him. Nine tail foxes sure must be scary. Especially those that seem to be insane.
During Abel and Mason's conversation at the beginning of the chapter, you use italics to stress words. I didn't mind it so much for a few words because yeah, they were necessary. Like 'please' to show how much Mason was begging him and so on. But then you use it a bit too much, and I felt like everything was being stressed, so it seemed overdone. I think you only really need four or possibly even just three stresses in there. Choose them wisely ^^ Just the words you really want a focus to be on, or you think it would be on in the context of a conversation and what was being said.
When Dominic joins the scene and the conversation, you should really mention who is speaking all the time. I got confused because it wasn't the usual talk between two characters. I didn't know who was saying what and in my mind at one point Abel was begging Mason to stay out of it? I don't know... just clarify here to clear things up! I don't even remember if we've met Dominic before or not... that's just how many characters you have! Don't forget to narrow it down there a bit, although I understand he must be quite important. Especially as he is ordering Mason around
Nice ending there. We got to see a lot more of Abel's emotions and thoughts outside of him just being a manic and living up to the title. Seeing as he is such an outcast, I wonder if there was a significant event that made him an outcast? Maybe there was one moment when he was having fun torturing something/somebody and the other foxes caught him, and fled, leaving him behind or something? It would be a very interesting scene if you could explain this in a flashback or something, and another interesting one would be a confrontation conversation with Abel facing his past... perhaps with Mason? Those two characters seem perfect friends for each other.
Anyways, not much else to say here. Just a few improvement suggestions! There is only chapter seven left for me to read, so I'll go check it out!
Deanie x
Clarice Arrais with a review here!!!
I have to admit that reading this chapter, the other I reviewed makes more sense.
I liked the way you introduce us the emptyness of the place.
I aslo liked the characers interactions. I think they are more relaxed and alive. The dialogues are well built and the comas with the "and", I know where they come from: Word. Try to ignore auto-correction sometimes. You know better than a software.
The shape and pattern you choose to write is really good. I can relate to the boys and feel comfortable around them.
I did not feel comfortable with the italics, they were tiresome to read.
But that's all. The other details were already pointed out.
Keep writing. ^^
Soul's Decay : Chapter Six
I am also not sire if you need the comma before "and Mason cursed". It just seems like excess commas. Some people have trouble when judging whether to place a comma there or not. It seems like you put more commas in then you really need. Try to use some less and reread the sentence to decide whether it could use a pause there or not. Same here...
Keep n writing!
Hello mephistophelesangel,
This is Magenta here to review your sixth chapter in this book, Soul's Decay. Which, by the way, is an interesting name for your novel. Good choice. I have just a few suggestions and comments to make for you.
"West Liverpool High was completely empty and ghastly quiet when Mason arrived. The doors were locked tightly from the inside, and Mason cursed, pulling on it, making the glass doors shake violently. It was Saturday. He should have known better. Then where the hell would he be?"
I would suggest changing the word ghastly here to something more appropriate. Ghastly is a word synonymous to horrific or terribly. I think that you can lower the horror of the school's quietness down a bit.
"Sighing, he groaned, and spun around." I don't see the need for a comma before the word, "and".
"Mason’s eyes widened slightly, and he stepped back, a shocked gasp escaping through his lips. It wasn’t the streetlights that surprised him."
Again, do you need the comma before the word "and"? Perhaps you might consider changing this sentence a tiny bit? I see no reason for the word shocked to lead the word "gasp" because we can obviously detect the shocked feeling when the character gasps. I think it would have "escaped" his lips. Past tense, right? Why was the word "streetlights"capitalized? There isn't a need for emphasis here or a need for attention there, is there?
"It definitely wasn’t an emotion that a mortal boy was supposed to host." I don't think that "host" is the proper word here.
Anyway, great job with this story. It is coming along well.
~ Magenta