Soul's Decay : Chapter Five

by mephistophelesangel

Published January 28, 2014

16+ Language Violence

In Soul's Decay

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language and violence.

Chapter Five

990

Mason ran until he had to stop, and by the time, he was positive that he looked like a madman. His hair was falling into his eyes in a massive tangle of dark brown strands, and he was sure he had a slightly insane gleam in his eyes. Trying to breath regularly, he raised his head with difficulty from staring at the ground, and studied the small house. It seemed relatively new, the walls repainted white and the windows shiny, the red roof covered with layers of colorful leaves of Autumn. He straightened up, walked up to the doorstep and knocked loudly.

For a short moment, he waited, his heart beating wildly in his ears. Soon, a woman who looked to be in her thirties poked her head out, her face portraying carelessness.

“We already have a newspa-“

She started, but when she looked up, it seemed like her next words stuck in her throat.

“Oh.”

“Eve. We need to talk.”

Mason wasted no time, and seeing the seriousness in the young man’s face and tone, Eve opened the door wider and nodded at him to come in. Mason glanced at her gratefully, rushed into the house, and took in a fat man on one of the couches, watching a movie. In the wide screen, a teenage girl screamed, and stuck a silver knife into a werewolf’s throat. The beast howled in pain. It had gold eyes, perhaps coincidental, perhaps not, and Mason immediately felt sick. The man looked up and squinted at the stranger suspiciously.

Ignoring her husband, Eve led Mason into the kitchen briskly and shut the door behind her. She locked the door and looked into Mason’s eyes. Mason could see a tense nervousness behind the woman’s warm brown orbs.

“I have a feeling that I don’t want to hear this.. Mason?”

The last part was spoken as a question, nudging Mason to talk, and demanding him to make it as subtle as he possibly could. Mason nodded grimly, and took a last glance at the fat man on the couch through a small window to his right.

“The hunt has begun, Eve. We need to hide.”

A sharp, pained or shocked intake of breath from both of them.

“Tom found a dagger hilt with their mark. Lie ren, lie chuan. In cow blood. It’s them. We need to warn the others. It’ll take a long time but we have to. They’re our kin. We can’t abandon them. And I-“

“Take it slow. Mason, take it slow.”

Eve muttered, putting a hand on Mason’s sturdy shoulder, but the young man could see her mind going a thousand miles in a second, somewhere far away. She didn’t meet his eyes, and looked away instead.

“Are you absolutely sure?”

“I- yes.”

Heavy silence engulfed the kitchen, and Mason started to feel uncomfortable and guilty, as if he was the one who had caused the plight, not a messenger. Eve’s lips thinned, and her right eye flashed yellow, the left a vivid green.

“Shit, Mason.”

She spoke, at last, running a hand through her light brown hair. The corners of her lips fell down into a grimace, and Mason fought to keep his face from falling into a same expression.

“And there goes my day.. So what’s the plan? You’re the seven tailed one, not me.”

“A plan..”

But I have no plan. Mason frowned, a bitter taste forming in his mouth and remaining. Eve gazed into his eyes intensely, and Mason stared back, a small part of him wanting to break down into tears at the whole situation. Before he could look away, Eve’s eyes widened slightly, as if she had just remembered something extremely important.

“Wait, what about Abel? Or.. whatever, actually. He goes by so many names. The crazy guy. What about him?”

“To be honest, Eve, I just remembered. And I don’t really know. We could find him and ask him to come with us. It wouldn’t be so hard, seeing that he has nine tails after all.”

Eve opened her mouth to protest, and Mason gently put a stop to it by raising a hand.

“He’s one of our kin, Eve. It is not right to abandon him.”

Mason, no offense, but you’re being the biggest moron in the world right now. He doesn’t need our help. And you know what? He’s probably going to kill us all if we even attempt to talk to him or whatnot.”

“Maybe not this time. He shares the same fear as us -The Hunters- and it is highly possible that he will listen to me about this particular subject.”

After a thoughtful moment, Mason corrected his words with a slight wince.

“Well, most likely a swipe or two. But he’ll listen.”

“No, he’ll not.

“Eve-“

“Why him?!”

Eve fumed. Mason narrowed his eyes, readying his claws and teeth to come out at any moment if Eve went wild with anger.

“If you’re going to him because he’s one of the most powerful foxes out there, why don’t you go to Dominic instead?! He has nine tails too! And he’s not mad, unlike someone! Abel’s fucking insane, you dimwit! Are you trying to get yourself killed?!”

“Eve.”

Mason tried to stop the woman from her rant before she could go too far, but Eve didn’t listen. She shook her head stubbornly, not noting the tenseness in Mason’s words.

“No, no, no. You’re not going to Abel, I absolutely refuse-“

Eve! Watch your tongue!”

Snarling, Mason slammed Eve into the kitchen door, feeling his eyes shift to bright gold. Her husband jumped on the couch, standing up with a stagger, and Mason could hear the vibrations of the mortal’s heavy footsteps leading to the kitchen. Eve’s eyes were wide, and Mason could see a fair amount of uncertain fear unraveling in her eyes. She gulped heavily. Mason leaned forward, and spoke in a hushed tone, mentally calming himself.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Eve. I have grown into favoring your presence. But, be careful of what you say, and who you say it to. I want you to warn the others, and any other foxes you can find. Don’t confront the Hunters by yourself. Always have a fox with more than six tails by your side.”

Eve’s husband started to fumble with the door handle, and realizing that it was locked, tried to pull it open with force. Failing, he started to repeatedly kick the door.

“Eve! What’s wrong?! EVE?!”

He screamed, and slammed his body into the door. It shook, but otherwise, didn’t budge. Mason took a deep breath, eying the door. If the mortal came in now, he would see his wife being cornered by a stranger with -probably- strangely vivid, gold eyes.

“You know where to go. Take care of him.”

Mason added silently, and whipped himself around to look for an exit. Eve watched him perplexedly, and stood on the spot like a statue until Mason jumped swiftly out of the house, using one of the larger kitchen windows as his escaping route.

Adeline hummed, content, and Beverly smiled next to her. They were sitting on a wooden bench, the planks that made up their seat warmed up comfortably with sunlight.

It was Saturday, and Adeline didn’t hesitate to enjoy the first day of her weekend. The park she and Beverly had rushed to was small, but it had a dozen benches that received the sun nicely and a lake, the surface shining like a million diamonds, a family of ducks swimming across it.

Yes, the scenery was beautiful and favorable, but the reason for the park being Adeline’s favorite was because it had an ice-cream store that had been there since she was a little child, according to her memories. It was a piece of her past she actually wanted to hold on to. She loved the vanilla flavor, she could remember faintly.

“Thinking about Jay?”

Beverly asked quietly, turing to face her. Adeline grinned at her thoughtfulness, and shook her head.

“Nah. Just a little thing I remembered.”

“Yeah? What is it?”

Turning only her torso around, Adeline fixed her gaze onto the little ice-cream shop -ICE CREAM MADNESS- and smiled longingly. Three letters on the sign were missing, making it read as [ICE CR AM MA N SS].

“Ice-cream shop. But I always don’t have the money.. and I am too old for an ice-cream cone anyway.”

She looked back at Beverly, and saw a mischievous glint in her eyes. Bright, pretty blue eyes with an orangish tint, she noted, again, absently. It was a fact that she always noted to herself every single time she looked at her best friend’s eyes. An orangish tint. Slapping herself mentally, she watched Beverly curiously, wondering what she was up to.

“You are never too old for ice-cream!”

Abruptly, Beverly declared, and shot up on her feet. Adeline stared at her, a little stunned. Beverly grinned, and put out a hand for her to take.

“What are you waiting for, Addie? Let’s go!”

“You sure about that? I don’t have any money.”

With a eye roll, Beverly started to drag Adeline to the ice-cream store. She glanced back at her, and produced a roll of dollar bills from her back pocket on her jeans with a wide smirk.

“The ice-cream’s on me, my friend. But you owe me one next time.”

Adeline grinned happily, and sped up to match Beverly’s pace. As they started to near the ice cream store, both of them practically skipping, Beverly suddenly stopped. Adeline looked at her, puzzled, and paused in mid-step. Beverly’s mouth was hanging open, and her eyes were wide. Adeline followed her gaze, and found a young man, probably in his twenties, walking to their general direction. Unconsciously, she brushed her hair back. Beverly didn’t move. She just stared at the man near them carefully.

Finally, the man walked over to Beverly and stood right in front of her, his bright, green eyes full of stress. He stared down at her, taller by a few good inches, and waited for her to talk.

“Mason?”

Finally, she asked hesitantly, her hand dropping to her side, releasing Adeline’s from her grip. The man, Mason, nodded grimly.

“Amy.”

“Wait, what? She’s Beverly. Not Amy.”

Adeline jumped in, confused, and glanced back and forth between Mason and Beverly. Mason sighed, annoyed, while Beverly gave her a look that was surprisingly cold. Adeline cringed back, shocked and hurt.

“I’m sorry, Beverly. I want to make this quick. As for why I am here, is because there was nobody except for you in this area, so I had to come here myself.”

Mason explained curtly, and Beverly nodded in understanding. Adeline stepped back, suddenly feeling like Beverly was a complete stranger, not her best friend she’d known for years. Mason and Beverly didn’t even glance her way.

“Wait. Nobody except for me in this area? Annabelle - Annabelle’s here?”

Beverly sputtered out, clearly shocked after pondering over Mason’s words, and the man frowned.

“Sorry, Beverly. She’s.. away. Permanently.”

A tear rolled down Beverly’s cheek, shining like a crystal in the sun, and Mason gave her a look of pity. He leaned forward and whispered something into her ear, and she nodded shakily, wiping away her lone tear.

Adeline briefly wondered what she was supposed to do, and considered the options ; 1) Run away, 2) Ask the two what the hell was going on, 3) Step in front of Beverly like an overprotective best friend. She chose neither. Option four, stand still and look like an idiot.

“I don’t get it. Why.. Who would..”

Something wild flashed in Beverly’s usually-calm eyes, and she started to shake with rage.

Him. He did it. He… Macdonald.. Mason!”

Beverly jumped, and stepped closer to Mason, effectively getting in his face. Her hands started to flail around to gesture at everything.

“He’s here! He saw me! I was at school, and the Spanish teacher was acting weird and then I knew! Mason, he’s here!”

“Abel?”

Mason whispered, barely loud enough for Adeline and Beverly to hear, and grabbed Beverly by her shoulders roughly. Adeline flinched, and she stepped forward, just an inch. Beverly stared into the man’s eyes, both of theirs wide open, and shivered in fear. Now, it was Mason who looked like a fish, opening and closing his mouth repeatedly.

“He’s here? But I didn’t sense - He killed Annabelle?”

“I.. I think so! Other than him, who would… she was at Jayden Campbell’s funeral and she didn’t come back and I don’t know what had happened and -“

Adeline registered two main facts - One, her younger brother’s name had come up somewhere in there, and two, Beverly was starting to ramble, which was very uncharacteristic, coming from her. She was usually the composed, sarcastic, and getting-into-your-face kind of person, not shivering, stuttering, and rambling.

Beverly spun around, breaking free of Mason’s grasp, and pointed an accusatory finger at Adeline. Both gasped, each hosting different emotions.

“-her! She was there! She-she didn’t go because of her parents but then she went to the funeral! She was there! She should know!!”

“Beverly. Calm down.

There was an unspoken warning in Mason’s voice, although it was obvious that he was struggling to stay composed himself.

“I’ll take care of it. You - go and warn any others you can find. Do you have any objections?”

“No, but-“

“Then go.”

For a second, Beverly hesitated, but then she turned and ran out of the park, faster than Adeline ever saw her run. Beverly definitely wasn’t the fastest runner in school, and if Adeline’s memory served right, she didn’t even favor running. Mason watched her go, and heaved a sigh.

“You. Were you at the funeral?”

He barked, disgust in his voice, and Adeline flinched. It took her a while to realize that the man was talking to her.

“Me? The funeral? Uh, yeah, but when I got there, it was over.”

Adeline answered bitterly. Mason eyed her, obviously contemplating whether or not she was speaking the truth. Adeline glared back, getting annoyed and tired with the whole situation.

With another heavy sigh, Mason spun around and walked away from her, leaving the girl alone and confused. Soon, he was gone from her sight.

Not knowing what to do with her hands and feet, Adeline shuffled nervously on the spot, and took a glance at the ice-cream store. She had never felt so alone. Now, after the commotion, she could remember - she and Beverly were going to the store for an ice-cream. Back then, she had looked so happy and care-free. Now she was gone, and Adeline couldn’t help but think that she was gone for good.



“The ice-cream’s on me, my friend. But you owe me one next time.”
she could still hear, somewhere in her mind, and her eyes started to burn with angry tears. What next time? There was no answer.

Mr. Macdonald stalked the young man, who was rushing out of the park. A sadistic grin twisted his lips. Mason, he thought. How joyous it is to see you here. The man didn’t hear his thoughts -of course- and continued to look around nervously, while heading to the direction of West Liverpool High. Mr. Macdonald cocked his head curiously, and wondered who the seven-tailed fox was looking for. Would he be so stupid to be looking for me?

Chuckling quietly, he quickly erased his mortal disguise, and put on another. When he was sure that he was now stripped clean of Antonio Macdonald’s physical traits, he looked into the nearest ice-cream shop’s window, and saw a small child, right around six or seven. The child had brown hair, silver eyes -the humans would mistake them as bright gray-, an orange hood and a pair of dark blue jeans. He looked relatively normal. Slightly raising an eyebrow, the boy changed his hair color to have a golden hue. Now that’s much better.

Turning around, the boy started to trace Mason’s steps, while raking his brain for a name. A common name that a mortal child would have. But not too stupid. They’re all stupid, but not too stupid… Ash. Sounds good. Ash Smith. Grinning again, the boy started to run.

Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
Snowery
Review
Snowery wrote a review Review · Apr 20, 2014

and by the time,


Hey!! I'm back! Yes, back!! :) :)

Main Points

“and by the time he did” might sound better?

and Mason immediately felt sick.


I think “but” would work better than “and” here.

As for why I am here, is because there was nobody except for you in this area, so I had to come here myself.”


I didn't really get what was being said here, unless of course that was the idea. :)

Option four, stand still and look like an idiot.


Haha!! This made me laugh! I would totally pick this option. :)

I really enjoyed the second half of the chapter, it was really well crafted and I find Addie quite comical in it! I think your story so far is amazing! Just fill the next two lines with gushing :)

Silverlock

User avatar
Deanie
Review
Deanie wrote a review Review · Mar 5, 2014

Hello! Me again! Took me a while to get here :3

This was a really good chapter! I could barely find anything wrong with it at all! I liked the conflict I saw between the two friends as Adeline realised she had no clue what was going on and that she was being ignored. It was also awkward that Mason stayed afterwards. I like how quickly it turned from it being a friends time together to Beverly running off and deserting her mate. I am wondering why Bev was just pretending to be her friend still.. so confused there.

Hm, the ending was full of suspense and a good place to end. What I didn't like about this was that it brought in another character - Eve. I understand now that you are gathering a whole pack, so there are going to be many many more names to come. But here is a suggestion. When you have so many people, and they're not all main roles, then try to not give them all names. Instead of, lets say the next person in the pack is Michelle, let's say Eve brought three more foxes with them. Then you still have a large number, and you mention the group. But seeing as not everyone can be a key character, it keeps things to a minimum. That's my suggestion for this.

Trying to breath regularly


This is a mistake I see a lot on YWS, so don't stress it. You mean 'breathe'. Breathe is the action, the verb, where you actually do it. A breath is the thing that you breathe in and out. I hope you get it by way of explanation ;) Other than that, I have nothing more to say! I didn't see any other technical problems. Onto the next chapter :D

Deanie x

SecreteJournalist wrote a review Review · Feb 23, 2014

Hey! I'm SecreteJournalist, reviewing for 'Majestic Icicles' today!

Happy Review Day, mephistophelesangle!

I won't lie in the fact that I haven't read your previous chapters. I deeply apologize if I confuse something in my review. But no matter if I've read the previous chapters or not, a review can still help a work, even if it's just the slightest tweak! If you don't mind, I'm going to review this in a way I usually don't. I'm just going to throw out suggestions and then praise. Onto the review!


Suggestions:

As I read through this, I saw some things that might need to be re-worded.

An example;

The park she and Beverly had rushed to was small, but it had a dozen benches that received the sun nicely and a lake, the surface shining like a million diamonds, a family of ducks swimming across it.


Now, this sentence seems to flow. But it also seems a little bit too long. You may need to break it up into a few, but that's just an opinion of mine.

Soon, a woman who looked to be in her thirties poked her head out, her face portraying carelessness.


'Her face portraying carelessness' seems a little bit forced to me.


My other suggestion, try not to over-do description. I love it in this chapter, but I feel as if there is only so long you can stretch an sentence with descriptive words.


Praise:


Though I did mention some description is over-done, the imagery here is, honestly, wonderful. I get a clear image in my mind, and can easily visualize what is happening.

The actual plot line, though I don't know it all, is pretty nice. It's something I would definitely suggest if someone asked me what they should read next.

My final big praise, I did love the ending paragraph. It grabbed onto the reader and seemed to say 'Read the next chapter'! Great job, when I have more time, I will definitely read more of this story.

Sincerely,
SecreteJournalist
Reviewing For
Majestic Icicles

User avatar
Magenta
Review
Magenta wrote a review Review · Feb 3, 2014

Hello mephistophelesangel,

This is Magenta here to review your novel that you submitted, Soul's Decay: Chapter Five. I haven't read there first four chapters so if I confuse anything important in the story, it is probably because I haven't read the other ones. Anyway, I hope to help you in this review and make a few suggestions and/or comments.

"Mason ran until he had to stop, and by the time, he was positive that he looked like a madman. His hair was falling into his eyes in a massive tangle of dark brown strands, and he was sure he had a slightly insane gleam in his eyes. Trying to breath regularly, he raised his head with difficulty from staring at the ground, and studied the small house. It seemed relatively new, the walls repainted white and the windows shiny, the red roof covered with layers of colorful leaves of Autumn. He straightened up, walked up to the doorstep and knocked loudly."

Firstly, I would change "and by the time" to "and by that time". I am also not sure if you need the comma before that bit because it isn't a place that the reader needs to pause and it isn't a parenthetical expression, right? I would change "trying to breathe regularly" because the way that you use the word regularly and breathe in this sentence sounds a bit awkward. That's just my opinion and it is really your choice. Also, autumn does not need to be capitalized. I would suggest adding a comma in the end sentence between "doorstep" and "and" because you are listing the three things that Mason did.

"Mason wasted no time, and seeing the seriousness in the young man’s face and tone, Eve opened the door wider and nodded at him to come in."

I would change "nodded at him" to "nodded for him".

Other than these few things, great job with this story. I hope to see you continuing on in this writing path. ;)

~ Magenta



"She doesn't even go here!"
— Damian Leigh