In communicating scarlet passions my palette is silent.
Unfulfilled with empty unrequited inspirations of devotion.
I'm Picasso left invalidated without paints to mingle soulfully.
How monochromatic is the picture with their color left unpaired.
For my colorless gallery has left me with only an audience of blue.
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137,690 Literary Works • 672,059 Reviews
Hello!
I always love poems about painting, and yours was no exception. You use vivid imagery and beautiful words to convey your meaning. Very descriptive words too. I love the final line the best, it really shows what the poem is all about.
There are a few things that I think could be improved. I think you maybe used a few too many "long words." I had to look up several to remind myself of what they meant, and I'm still not sure a few of them fit. The words that (in my opinion) are the most confusing are: "Unrequited inspirations of devotion," "invalidated," "mingle soulfully," and "unpaired." I'm not saying that these are bad words, but I don't think they are very visual words, and I don't think they add a lot to this poem. It think that the reader would have a hard time relating these words to anything. I value simplicity in a poem, and in essence, this is a pretty simple poem with fancy words tied onto it. I think it would be more powerful if you just changed them to be simpler.
Otherwise, this poem was absolutely fantastic!! I like how you brought up Picasso and your art terms.
I also agree with the previous review in that "the picture with their color..." is a little weird in a plural sense.
Great job! Keep writing!
~fortis
Gorgeous. Simply stunning. You painted, pun intended
, such lovely imagery. I love the brevity, which is so sweet and short, yet filled to the brim with emotion.
"How monochromatic is the picture with their color left unpaired"
My one sorta critique is this line. I love the line itself, but just a slight grammar thing. "is the picture" is singular, while "their color" is plural. So, as it's your lovely poem, I won't be one of those people who tells you what to do about it. Just thought I'd mention it so you may do, or not do, what you please, just with more information.
Really though, I just adore it. I love the allusion to Picasso, and the fact that it's ended with an audience of blue. As an art history student, that gets me, since he too had a blue period.
It's just all worded so well. I want to copy my favorite lines over, but then I'd just be copying the whole poem over XD. I guess if I had to choose, I guess the first is the best line altogether. It's a great intro. I love "unrequited inspirations of devotion" and "paints to mingle soulfully"
Just great, keep up the writing! Thanks for sharing your beautiful piece with us.