z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Return Of The Unwanted Dead. Chapter 4

by rbt00


Dead Will Return

They started running towards the dormitory. As quick as their feet could take them. On reaching they noticed Stacie and they also saw her drinking red juice.

'Duck' whispered Emma.

After a couple of minutes she finally left.

Eliza said with a shocked face 'What was all that about?

'I don’t know! Was it blood or what?' said Eliza 'But wait we almost forgot about the note. Let's open it and see what is written in it'.

As she unfolded the note, words were written up in blood.

"Is The Tears Of V****** And The Dead Will Return"

'So that's the remaining part' Emma jumped happily.

Eliza continued 'I am so sorry. I did not trust you in the first place'

'Its okay' she replied quickly. 'We've got to inform the others before any other people or students disappear like that'

'Wait, we will inform our friends first then the rest later cause they will not believe us in the first place' Eliza said.

'But what if others disappear like that'. I don’t think that be safe'

'Hmm, you have a point which I support but right now only Cedrick, Fendi, Drake and Carlos only'

'Okay let's go' Emma said not even waiting for another minute to pass.

It was almost time. Arts period had already begun. They hurried to their class and it seemed that their teacher Mrs.Mc Terrany was in a very good mood that she was literally distributing chocolates to everyone. Noticing that they quickly got inside the class and sat in their respective places.

'Psst, Cedrick listen we just found something interesting' Eliza said

'Meet us behind the secret entrance of history doors after class' Emma added.

History doors were situated very inside the school where all old things and stuff were kept.

Now, even Cedrick was burning with curiosity.

'What must have happened?' words circling in his mind. He was so lost that he did not notice that their Defence teacher Mr.Micro entered their class. He was disturbed by a mosquito which was buzzing in his ear. It did not take long for Cedrick to realize Mr.Micro was announcing something.

'So, you all can enter your names before Saturday' Mr.Micro ended.

Being a brainwave he understood that it surely must have been another tournament and that he was asking the students to enter their names. Cedrick was always a champion in the grave egg hunt and he was sure he would his name this year too.

Suddenly, the bell rang. Everybody rushed out of the class and Cedrick went to the place where he was supposed to be.

'Psst,' a voice startled him. His heart pounded.

'It is us' said Eliza and Emma together in a cracked voice.

'Whoa! you people just sacred me' Cedrick said but now all normal.

'Listen' and they narrated what all happened.

'Oh my gosh why is this all happening we don’t need the dead. Listen, there's a history that the unwanted dead will return and that they would suck the blood of every innocent person. We cannot let that happen and Vascara is the leader. The drops of Vascara's tears can keep the dead awake but to do that we must kill Vascara himself or kill someone already dead but awake.' Cedrick related.

'You knew this much? And we didn't know that wow!' exclaimed Emma.

'Yeah but I thought it was all a joke and I needed a proof to prove that it was right and you have done it BRAVO!'

Cedrick said happily.

'So that means Stacie is a dead person but she needs the tears to be awake' Emma said in a cracked voice.

Eliza noticed Emma was frightened and taken aback cause Stacie had asked her to get the tears. Emma suddenly remembered about the Bloody Human written up in blood in the mess menu and told them about it.

Then suddenly Fendi, Drake, Carlos spotted them and came.

Cedrick continued 'If this all continues to take place then Magarita wont be a safe place any more'

Eliza said 'Then does that not mean everyone has to return to their homes and leave this academic year.'

'I am afraid so' Cedrick said with a sad expression on his face.

Fendi, Drake and Carlos did not know what was going on but before Emma could tell them, they were interrupted by the head master of the school.

'I don’t think students are allowed to be in this area! Cant you read 'RESTRICTED' written up here' he said angrily.

'We are so sorry we needed a private place to discuss something important' Cedrick said honestly.

'What is so important to you than studies?' The headmaster replied quickly.

'Sorry we wont repeat it again Drake , Fendi and Carlos said together in a polite manner.

'This time I am sparing you but remember next time I see you people lurking around here or anywhere else straight away suspension'

He walked away angrily.

'Phew! We are close to being expelled. Hope we do not land into any more trouble' said Eliza.

'Let's go to the school garden and discuss it over their' Fendi added.

They all walked quietly to the lobby and then entered the elevator which took them to the ground floor. It was a pleasant weather. The sun could barely be seen. They found an empty bench. Without wasting any more time quickly seated themselves.

'So what's our plan?' Cedrick said.

'But we three don’t know what is going on!' exclaimed Carlos.

Then Eliza started telling them all about it. After finishing---

'Oh Shit!' Fendi blurted.

'I know! Shit! That is what I have been telling all the time' Emma said but this time with a smile on her face.

'Listen let's drop this whole thing out. We will continue our mission after a week. Then our exams would be over so we would have a whole month of holidays.' Drake said.

'But you don’t understand this is a serious matter. Do you just want to se people disappear in front of your eyes and do you want to see 'THE RETURN OF THE UNWANTED DEAD' again?' Emma said very angrily.

'Fine fine everyone calm down! We all are really exhausted. We need to refresh ourselves' the head boy said.

'We will make the plan tomorrow' Eliza added.

And they all left for the dormitory.


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508 Reviews


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Tue Sep 17, 2013 2:22 am
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dragonfphoenix wrote a review...



"Is The Tears Of V****** And The Dead Will Return" They read that and suddenly Eliza believes her friend? What does that even mean? That should lead to more confusion on their parts than harmony of purpose. They'd be just a little bit befuddled, wouldn't you think? So what they found this note? Do they know what it means?
"History doors were situated very inside the school where all old things and stuff were kept." ??? what does "very inside the school" mean? I would describe it a little better than that.
Hope this helps!




rbt00 says...


Could u suggest me how to describe that part? and bout Eliza she believes her cuz she has no other choice. but if u mind suggesting It be really helpful



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Fri Sep 13, 2013 1:28 pm
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naominana wrote a review...



'This time I am sparing you but remember next time I see you people lurking around here or anywhere else straight away suspension'


He walked away angrily.


'Phew! We are close to being expelled. Hope we do not land into any more trouble' said Eliza.


Sorry. but what bugs me is that suspension is taking time off school or 'in-school' suspension is being secluded from people whereas expulsion is being banned from going to the school at all forever.
just saying.




rbt00 says...


Could u suggest me how to change it?



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Wed Sep 04, 2013 8:59 pm
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alexistaianna says...



I love this book! Really interesting,great storyline,great everything, keep up the good work!




rbt00 says...


Thanks! :) I'll inform you when I post the next chapter.



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Wed Sep 04, 2013 5:04 pm
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KnightTeen wrote a review...



I told you that you can't get rid of me.

Why do you keep bolding out the text? It not really all that necessary.



On reaching they noticed Stacie drinking some red color juice or should you call it potion.


I don't know why the only thing that they noticed was that Stacie was drinking something. Shouldn't they notice that Stacie is there? And as for the last part of the sentence, it doesn't make any sense.

They both waited till she left. After a couple of minutes she finally left.


Since you already mentioned that she left, you don't need to say it twice.

Eliza said with a shocking face 'What was all that about?


This sentence formation doesn't need an ing word, but rather an ed word. "Shocked".

Eliza continued 'I am so sorry; I did not trust you in the first place'


You don't need the semi-colon.

'We've got to inform the others before any other people or students get disappeared like that'


later cause they wont believe us in the first place' Eliza said.


'But what if others get disappeared like that'.


'Oh Shit!' Fendi blurted.
'I know! Shit!


You need to up the rating and add a language warning.

There is really nothing to be said that I haven't said in my reviews of the previous chapters except for this; you have this in the horror genre, but it really has no horror in it.

You're doing a good job, just work on it a little more.




rbt00 says...


Ok thanks for pointing out the mistakes. It is not looking horror cause this are just the 5 chapters. When you get to read the final chapter you will understand what this story was and you will have a good laugh. :)
Do review my stuff more.
Thanks alot it helped





Ah, okay.

I have some school that I need to finish up for today, but once I'm done with that I'll be sure to take a look at the rest of your work.



rbt00 says...


ok




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