‘Twas the day before Christmas, and in the backyard,
The squirrels were busy as the dog was off guard.
They bustled about doing all sorts of things,
With all sorts of nuts, leaves, and small bits of strings.
The food was quite grand, for rodents with buckteeth,
And all swept from our scraps, right down to the wreath.
So that’s were it went I said to myself,
As they leapt, tree to tree, with the wastes of our wealth.
They had the last crumbs of bread and the heels of loaves,
And the cores of our fruit, mixed with what, no one knows!
Nuts in abundance took part in all dishes
And over a fire there roasted some fishes.
Small bows of old ribbon festooned the tree limbs.
I was quite surprised when I heard them sing hymns!
They sang about Christmas and all its great joys,
Of Jesus, of Santa, and the bringing of toys.
As I stopped and I listened and watched all these things,
I heard booms, I heard bongs, and I heard ding-a-lings!
Their bells, how they rang! The squirrels, how they sang!
Then it all disappeared with a poof and a bang!
‘Twas all just a dream, but a good one, at that.
I had fallen asleep in the snow, in my hat.
And then, in the trees, what should I behold?
‘Twas something so amazing, I screamed, truth be told.
The squirrels were gone, but the décor remained.
Yet suddenly I felt a little bit pained.
I had wanted to see them, in person, in life.
Oh well! I said, and forgot all my strife.
For it was near to Christmas and joy was abound.
The goodwill of everyone was to be found.
I went inside and drank my hot chocolate,
Warm in my house, and under a blanket.
This is really cute.
You have a few inconsistencies with the pattern though. First, the last line in the first stanza needs to have a look taken at it. Consider revising it to better match the pace of the story.
Next, like geese are geese, and moose are moose no matter if they're plural or not, fish are fish. This means instead of using dishes, use dish. You could do "...many a dish." This will fix that little consistency. Last, the last stanza needs a little repair also. It all feels really kind of short compared to the actual ending and maybe that's just because it isn't really a conclusion sounding thing, but it needs some extra love.
Overall, this thing made me laugh. I love how you used it as a parody and I could see it as a children's story without even trying. It has the same sing-songy rhyme to it and it even paces with the book, so good job. Fix the few things, or at least take a look at them again and see if you can come up with something, and it will be perfect.
I never really checked it before I posted it, or I probly would've caught it myself. I probly shouldve checked :/ Oh well. It was only a little writing assignment at school a few years ago. No biggy
Actually, fish can be pluralized as fishes. It mostly depends on where you're from, and whether you're talking about species of fish or fish within a species. But the easy thing is to ignore it and accept both, since they're both grammatically correct.
Here we go! A person who speaks English! I say stuff like that all the time and people just stand around in their daft little faces with their mouths flapping open! Nice to hear that I'm not the only one who does it.
I remember I had to do one of these types of poems for school.
Mine was about the day of Thanksgiving. It was really fun to write, but I hated trying to rhyme everything! That was so challenging to me. I would always have these great ideas, but then the syllable was off just a tick. Grrrr. Anyways, I liked the poem. It was very cute. :3 Good work!
yeah rhyming it was a total bear for me
Thats one blast of a dream you heard, A squirel chrismas party...!!! Who wouldn't want to see that again!!! You did great Job with your imagintion, I like that.
However I must say that you some of the stanza lack flow take stanza 2 for instance, in explaining how grand the foods of the festivities was you halted the flow with your thoughts, this is what I mean
"The food was quite grand, for rodents with
buckteeth,
And all swept from our scraps, right down to the
wreath.
So that’s were it went I said to myself, INSTEAD OF PUTTING THIS HERE IT WOULD BE BETTER OF AT THE END OF THE STANZA, SO THE FLOW WILL NOT BE HALTED
As they leapt, tree to tree, with the wastes of
our wealth."
Also your work with punctuation is nice just for a few lines do you need to make little corrections, like in stanza 3 where you said "mixed with what, no
one knows!" There should not be a comma after "what".
In stanza 4 as well the period after the second would be better off with comma.
And then in the second to the last stanza where you said "I had wanted to see them, in person, in life." Remember they ar squirrels, not humans.
All thats been said you did a great Job
Keep the spirit flowing, and you can always call on me for a review