How to Write a Genderfluid Character?

Hi, everyone!

I'm new here. So, hello, by the way! I just wanted to say that this looks like a pretty rad, friendly community so far, and I'm so happy to be a part of it!

So here's the deal:

I wanna' write a genderfluid character (boy one day, girl another, you know.) But my problem is, I'm a cisgender girl. Anyone that can identify with this character willing to help?

And those who aren't genderfluid, but still absolutely know what they're talking about, you're welcome to answer to!

Thanks, and cheers!

PM me with your questions!

Oh, and welcome to YWS!

Based on what little you mentioned in your post, I feel compelled to point out that genderfluidity is not like a boy/girl switch that gets flipped from day to day, and it also isn't limited to just male and female.

Before I reply in more detail, how much do you already know about being genderfluid?

My gender identity: Non-binary, sometimes feel fluid sometimes feel agender. By which I mean, I definitely don't identify as just male or just female. Sometimes I feel more like one or the other, often I feel like neither.

I really like the way @Ventomology does it in her story Conics Unfortunately. It includes a genderfluid character called Andra who is referred to by "they" unless whoever is talking about them is aware that they are presenting a particular gender. To do this, they often use their earrings - studs if they're feeling masc, dangly if femme - but I'm fairly sure they present gender in other ways also.

Here is a chapter in which Andra is/presents as male: Conics Unfortunately: 33
Here is a chapter in which Andra is/presents as female:
Conics Unfortunately: 67

This obviously doesn't mean that Andra's earrings dictate their gender, but it's a handy tool to help them indicate their preferred pronouns at that moment. Personally I often wear pastel colours when I feel femme.

This isn't the only way to experience genderfluidity, and it's also not the only way to describe it, but just thought I'd share my experience.

Kale wrote:Based on what little you mentioned in your post, I feel compelled to point out that genderfluidity is not like a boy/girl switch that gets flipped from day to day, and it also isn't limited to just male and female.

Before I reply in more detail, how much do you already know about being genderfluid?

Thanks for the pointer!

As you can tell from my original post, next to nothing. But I'm ready to learn!

BiscuitsLeGuin wrote:My gender identity: Non-binary, sometimes feel fluid sometimes feel agender. By which I mean, I definitely don't identify as just male or just female. Sometimes I feel more like one or the other, often I feel like neither.

I really like the way @Ventomology does it in her story Conics Unfortunately. It includes a genderfluid character called Andra who is referred to by "they" unless whoever is talking about them is aware that they are presenting a particular gender. To do this, they often use their earrings - studs if they're feeling masc, dangly if femme - but I'm fairly sure they present gender in other ways also.

Here is a chapter in which Andra is/presents as male: Conics Unfortunately: 33
Here is a chapter in which Andra is/presents as female:
Conics Unfortunately: 67

This obviously doesn't mean that Andra's earrings dictate their gender, but it's a handy tool to help them indicate their preferred pronouns at that moment. Personally I often wear pastel colours when I feel femme.

This isn't the only way to experience genderfluidity, and it's also not the only way to describe it, but just thought I'd share my experience.

Thank you so much for first of all, providing first hand experience (that's SUPER helpful), and second of all linking some sources I can use.

ToHogwartsInATARDIS wrote:Thanks for the pointer!

As you can tell from my original post, next to nothing. But I'm ready to learn!

Step 1: Google your topic of interest. I recommend starting with "what is genderfluidity" and "what is it like to be genderfluid". Once you have read through the first few pages of results (the first 10 will give you a decent starting point), proceed to Step 2.

Step 2: Find online communities where people who are genderfluid have shared their experiences. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS AT THIS POINT. Just read and watch and listen. You will likely find a lot of conflicting opinions and experiences. This is a good thing.

Step 3: Repeat Steps 1 and 2 for any unfamiliar terms and identities you encounter. Continue until you begin to notice overarching patterns in your sources. Then proceed to Step 4.

Step 4: Ask questions about the specific aspects you are struggling to understand which you have NOT been able to clarify through your own research. If you have not yet researched that aspect, go back to Step 1.

Step 5: By now, you should have a reasonable idea of the extent and nuances of your topic of choice. You can begin writing and ask for feedback on the ideas you have. Be aware that, despite all the work you've put into researching the topic, you WILL make mistakes. That is okay. You can fix them.

---

Actual representation takes a lot of work. Right now, you're all the way back at Step 1. You need to do a lot more work before you can ask questions and get answers that will actually help you represent genderfluidity in a way that isn't inaccurate or harmful to genderfluid people.

Asking questions is no replacement for doing the actual research. You need to do the research in order to be ready to ask the important questions.

So let me know when you finish researching, and we'll go from there. Until then, have fun! You'll likely be surprised by all the things you'll find, which is more than half the fun of learning, not to mention a HUGE source of inspiration you would have never found otherwise.

I identify as genderfluid and I'd just like to say genderfluid isn't always just male & female. A genderfluid can feel genderless (agender) sometimes too, or btoh male and female at once. The gender they're feeling can also change multiple times per day.

Thanks.

Hello! I'm incredibly late to this discussion, but I am going through the self-discovery journey right now as I have opened my eyes more to the fact that I may be gender-fluid. If you have any questions, feel free to message me!

I'd also just like to point out that while it does change often, it doesn't necessarily just change day to day. Some days I'll wake up feeling more girly and want to get completely dressed up, and by the middle of the day, I feel awful in my outfit because it feels like it doesn't fit me anymore. There are also several days in a row where I may identify more with one gender than the other. There are also moments when it doesn't feel like either. I would just say to be super careful about the way you portray it. Good luck on your writing!!