Corrupt a Wish [3]

Granted, but now everyone is distracted by the rust against their salad fingers, and daze off while a poor innocent passer by burns in the oven you left open. Tisk, tisk, tisk.

I wish I had a llama with a hat.

Granted, but he overthrows the government and eats your boyfriend(or girlfriend).

I wish I was a llama with a hat.

Granted, but someone eats you.

I wish I was fifteen hours ahead of all the rest of the world.

Granted, but that means you die fifteen hours before everyone else.

I wish I was fifteen hours behind the rest of the world

Granted, but then you miss the release of Artemis Fowl: The Last Guardian and have to listen to everybody giving out spoilers. XD

I wish I could download anything, anywhere in the blink of an eye.

Granted; you accidentally download a mega virus that wipes out every computer in America.

I wish I was turning 18 instead of 17.

Granted, but now that you've aged a year earlier, you missed out on graduation so you have to go back to school as an oldie D:

I wish I could leave to Ireland right now.

Granted, you get there and Artemis Fowl decides to use you in a special brain-transfer experiment.

I wish I could memorize every word I read with no negative side affects to my brain.

Granted, but you can only use them in the order which you originally read them, making it nearly impossible for you to use words like fraught.

I wish I could use any word in any language perfectly, and pronounce it perfectly, with no negative side effects to my brain.

Granted, but you know absolutely none of the grammar structures of all these languages and end up sounding really weird.

I wish we didn't have so much hemlock in our backyard.

Granted, to get rid of it, you stage a hemlock-eating contest. Last one to die wins.

I wish I wasn't sick.

Granted, you're dead.

I wish I wasn't sick, or dead, or allergic to anything.

Granted, but now you have a huge, spontaneous rash.

I wish the weather would make up it's mind and decide if it wants to be warm or cold

Granted but now the whole balance of nature is out of whack and the world shrivels up into a little ball and we all die.

I wish my nose would stop running >:'(

Granted, it starts gushing blood like a little faucet.

I wish I had a hammer (about half the size of Thor's and without any sentient abilities)