Corrupt a Wish 2

Granted but you eat cake for the rest of your life, get fat and die alone with 27 cats and a three legged hamster. Then the cake runs out and you die.

I wish that I didn't have a wish.

Gra- um...wait...um...not granted? urgh, you got me, Skinny.

I wish I was a german goth vampire.

Granted, but your skin doesn't sparkle like *cough*Edward Cullen*cough*, so you can't get a date for the rest of your immortal life. Sorry.

I wish my dolls would come to life.

Granted, but priests appear at your door wanting to do exorcisms on them everyday.

I wish I could go to Italy.

Granted, but you are met there by Zombie Mussolini, who recruits you to his Singing and Dancing Troupe™ comprised of various forms of undead and other societal rejects. This troupe's choreographer is Enoby Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way. You are stuck in this troupe for enternity.

I wish I could catch up to the current JulNo amount of words.

Granted but then you fail NaNoWriMo from excessive burnout.

I wish it wasn't so hot.

Granted, but in creating an ideal atmospheric temperature, the balance of the atmospheric pressure is disrupted, causing worldwide storms and tsunamis, resulting in the epic early cousin of the 2012 APOCOLYPSE.

I wish I lived within the digital synapses of the internet-brain.

Granted, but eventually you go crazy from lack of real human contact.

I wish the guy I liked would ask me out/acknowledge my existence...

Granted! You eventually get married, but it ends in divorce.

I wish I could get the lead role in the school play.

Granted, but the play ends up a flop and your name becomes strongly associated with it.
I wish my story would come to life.

Granted. But your antagonist chases you around with an ax.
I wish I could have awesome purple wings.

Granted, but then you're treated like a freak, exploited by circus managers and studied, poked and dissected by egghead scientists.

I wish our world would build a massive computer designed to take care of every individual human. As a result, world peace!

Granted, but one day the super computer displays the blue screen of death and therefore all humans in the world die out due to not remembering how to take decent care of themselves.

I wish the auto-tune craze in music would end.

Granted, but then all the music you get is off-tune and horribly bad.

I wish that all Hobbit Gangsters would die a horrible, tragic death. XD

Granted, but their ghosts haunt you, for enternity.

I wish I could FLYYY!