Young Writers Society

Home » Forums » Special Events » NaPoWriMo » NaPoWriMo Archives

psoraiasis and limes



User avatar
1313 Reviews

Supporter


Gender: Female
Points: 23286
Reviews: 1313
Mon Apr 02, 2018 1:56 pm
View Likes
Hannah says...



lines and lines and lines and lines
about psoriasis and limes
you can message me with anything: questions, review requests, rants
are you a green room knight yet?
have you read this week's Squills?
  





User avatar
1313 Reviews

Supporter


Gender: Female
Points: 23286
Reviews: 1313
Mon Apr 02, 2018 2:00 pm
View Likes
Hannah says...



april 2. insulation


There is an attic box
brimming with pink paper shreds. . .

A box in the attic
filled with shredded pink paper,
empty of things that matter.
Shadows of weight have left indents;

mass indented paper into shadows,
but now it does not matter:
I cannot read - I never knew what it held.

I never read what it held
I never held what I read
It was red, I was held
I was held, I was held once
And now I am pink, shredded paper.
I am the attic. I am a box.
you can message me with anything: questions, review requests, rants
are you a green room knight yet?
have you read this week's Squills?
  





User avatar
1313 Reviews

Supporter


Gender: Female
Points: 23286
Reviews: 1313
Mon Apr 02, 2018 2:14 pm
View Likes
Hannah says...



april 2.

learn to keep your own head underwater
long after the burning in your eyes and nose
dims into a familar hum.
you can endure weeks underwater - no sounds, no lights.

emergence is navy, slick, faceless.
you have eroded. you dissolve.

yet even the grains of sand on the walls of the abyss
cling to thoughts of his last words: be well.
you can message me with anything: questions, review requests, rants
are you a green room knight yet?
have you read this week's Squills?
  





User avatar
1313 Reviews

Supporter


Gender: Female
Points: 23286
Reviews: 1313
Wed Apr 04, 2018 2:45 pm
View Likes
Hannah says...



april 3. lukewarm gratitude

god am i thankful for the wind in my hair
sticking sweat-slick bangs to my forehead
on the way to the temples. the guide says
each block has a hole in the bottom
for a bump on the block below to slide into
and i wonder must everything be about sex.
and i wonder if i told you i was bleeding
if i would be sitting in cafes alone for a week.
if i would be thankful for chilled coffee and books
i only read to keep my mind off ambiguity.
you can message me with anything: questions, review requests, rants
are you a green room knight yet?
have you read this week's Squills?
  





User avatar
1313 Reviews

Supporter


Gender: Female
Points: 23286
Reviews: 1313
Wed Apr 04, 2018 2:54 pm
View Likes
Hannah says...



april 4.

참는것이 지겹다.
어쩔 수 없다는 말도 지겨워.
내가 3년 동안 참으면서 살아왔는데
이제 날개들을 피고 살고 싶다.

I am tired of enduring
and I am tired of hearing there is no choice.
I have endured my own life for three years
but now I want a life - a year or more - of unfurled wings.
you can message me with anything: questions, review requests, rants
are you a green room knight yet?
have you read this week's Squills?
  





User avatar
801 Reviews

Supporter


Gender: Female
Points: 1383
Reviews: 801
Sat Apr 07, 2018 3:37 am
View Likes
Aley says...



Hey Hannah, I like that your poetry is so very much YOUR poetry. This is beautiful in the word choice and the flow of the poem, but the poems themselves are all so serious and feel so dark.

I really love how the poem for April 2nd transforms, the one about the pink papers. It feels so natural with how it shifts and changes. You might have a little too much repetition though, just a little? Still, I love your poems in this. That one especially.
  





User avatar
693 Reviews

Supporter


Gender: Female
Points: 5383
Reviews: 693
Mon Apr 09, 2018 5:55 pm
Audy says...



The pink papers is my favorite too! :O It's the way that the shifts and changes are in the language itself that feels polished and natural, the way that we get from "what I read" to "it was red" is not about the concept but about the sounds in the language (sorry - that's me taking notes :3)

But in the meaning, in what it wants to say - that's the tension. The words themselves, and the language itself is saying it doesn't matter, but we all know intuitively it matters and I love that tension. :3 Ahhhh <3

I also loved April 3 for keeping me grounded in this kind of slice of life adventure. It's the enjoyment that we get from looking at a photograph, but this one is more a photograph of your mind in a moment and I enjoyed that immensely. I can imagine exploring Korea, the thoughts that come about in your mind at random, and the cold coffee was a lovely end connecting us both as I drink cold coffee reading this :) (are you still in Korea? :O I assume based on 'temple' but fff I dunno!)

I love you and your poems Hannah <3
  








Perfection is lots of little things done well.
— Marco Pierre White