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DRUNKISM, the origins, creation and everlasting religion

Firestarter · 2005-02-05T01:38:46Z

Here goes: Me and Lundy and lots of other people were sat in Subway. A drunk guy walks in, and asks for a lighter. Then he sees me and says "Hey, you look like the guy from Pink Floyd!" And I was like "Errr...okay". But undeterred the man went on to proclaim me and Lundy "Should be the world leaders." He then went on to do a perfect rendition of the song "Another Brick in the Wall Part 2" and ran out. Then he came back and did it again, slapped me on the back and disappeared forever. And me and Lundy were like "Wow, that guy was like a Messiah, a Prophet, telling us the future!" So we decided to create a religion based on this guy. We called it DRUNKISM . CORE BELIEFS OF DRUNKISM Random Drunk Guy is the Messiah and most be remembered. The Holy PLace to Pray is at Subway. While praying, you must put an orange aroudn your neck, and out Pink Floyd on, and eat a Subway Sandwich. The Holy Book is called - ORANGES THAT TALK TO EACH OTHER. The creation story is as follows - One day, there were two oranges. One became the sun, one became the earth. Other oranges came along and became the planets. Jack and Lundy are Leaders of Drunkism. Their formal names are John and Paul, and they are two, so they are John Paul II together (Catholic irony intended). THAT IS ALL! YES, I AM SLIGHTLY DRUNK. (You had to be there, or at least in the Chatbox)

Ego

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Wed Feb 09, 2005 3:48 am

Ego says... · Wed Feb 09, 2005 3:48 am

*smakcs forehead*

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electricbluemonkey

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Wed Feb 09, 2005 3:59 am

electricbluemonkey says... · Wed Feb 09, 2005 3:59 am

Wait! By subway you meant subway restaurant?! I thought you meant a subway as in a train thing. Crap...I prayed all wrong...

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Nate

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Wed Feb 09, 2005 4:55 am

Nate says... · Wed Feb 09, 2005 4:55 am

So would Jared (Subway diet guy) be a prophet?

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Firestarter

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Wed Feb 09, 2005 3:05 pm

Firestarter says... · Wed Feb 09, 2005 3:05 pm

No, he* is a fake God! Burn him*, people, burn him*, for the remembrance of Drunk Guy!

*I have no idea who he is. I don't think we have him in ol' England.

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electricbluemonkey

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Thu Feb 10, 2005 2:34 am

electricbluemonkey says... · Thu Feb 10, 2005 2:34 am

Ah crap, so it was the subway restaurant. I thought you meant a train subway...

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Nate

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Thu Feb 10, 2005 2:36 am

Nate says... · Thu Feb 10, 2005 2:36 am

Firestarter wrote:No, he* is a fake God! Burn him*, people, burn him*, for the remembrance of Drunk Guy!

*I have no idea who he is. I don't think we have him in ol' England.

Good! I don't like him anyway. He's just this schmoe who ate nothing but Subway sandwiches for a few months and lost a ton of weight. Now he's the Subway spokesperson.

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InnerTurmoil

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Thu Feb 10, 2005 5:01 pm

InnerTurmoil says... · Thu Feb 10, 2005 5:01 pm

I see, you guys need to find your prophet and have him walk on orange juice, sry all slightly high right now!!!! But hey it works right???

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Firestarter

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Thu Feb 10, 2005 5:09 pm

Firestarter says... · Thu Feb 10, 2005 5:09 pm

Err...how do you suggest I go about finding some drunk guy I met a week ago? He could be anywhere!

Anyway, us Drunkists believe he wasn't a human. He wasn't a prophet, either. He was a Messiah. A Demi-God, he appeared from the Orange Nirvana (heaven) to tell us how to get there.

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Elelel

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Fri Feb 11, 2005 6:47 am

Elelel says... · Fri Feb 11, 2005 6:47 am

Ha ha! This is so funny!

I'm in!!!

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-KayJuran-

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Fri Feb 11, 2005 11:11 pm

-KayJuran- says... · Fri Feb 11, 2005 11:11 pm

i wanna join too!

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Harley

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Thu Mar 31, 2005 2:50 pm

Harley says... · Thu Mar 31, 2005 2:50 pm

Count me in, Subway rules and oranges rock. :roll:

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Fri May 01, 2009 2:04 am

Snoink says... · Fri May 01, 2009 2:04 am

You guys are insane.

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Tue May 12, 2009 5:27 pm

Meshugenah says... · Tue May 12, 2009 5:27 pm

You have disturbed the mysterious and occult origins of Drunkinism! Burn her, BURN HER!

(nice, over four years old, this is? *dies* I'm so old)

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DRUNKISM, the origins, creation and everlasting religion

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