whatdoititlethishelp

This is my first year participating in NaPo so I guess I got here just in time I hope that I'm making my thread correctly lol. Aiming for fifteen and hoping it doesn't prove to be too challenging...

1. Oblivion
2. sorry for being avoidant but i swear i had a reason
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(this title is my whole napo mood so far this year! <3 Good luck in your poetry this month ruby!! You've got this!)

Oblivion

plump raindrops
fall around me
like tadpoles.
the ground is sodden
but steady
and i can sink
into grays like
a dull metal pot
cooking soup
on the stove.
tired eyes pulled open
sobered up
by the weeping sky.
a wedding veil
of fresh tears
Mother Nature’s bride.
lying face-down
in the slick grass
let me return
let your roots feast
on my flesh
pull the string and
switch off the
dusty attic lightbulb.
palms pressed
into the earth
a maternal embrace
smooth and gentle
ripples in a pond.

oblivion.

welcome home.

sorry for being avoidant but i swear i had a reason

(This is just a questioning my gender identity and reflecting on the past stream of consciousness sorry)

something in the swirling air
of my ceiling fan of spring of
'21 made me think of you
and now i was crying, too
as i did the unthinkable.
hey, can anybody else smell
strawberries and cigarette smoke?
i think i loved you as a proxy
rolling black sky and the taste of
salt.
i wanted companionship,
or something dumb like that
but a brick wall stood
between our fingertips and it is that i'm
nothing but my mother's daughter
and goddammit i should've known
my name.
i may have committed identity fraud
for some odd number of years
so i'm sorry,
i think you said the wrong thing
and that kind of took me out of it
but i promise it's not your fault that
when those syllables slipped out
from under your breath
they buried themselves under my skin
and made me get nauseous
and that i wanted to keep my sweater on
and the lights
off.