Corrupt A Wish [4]

Granted! The muffin man is a cannibalistic psychopath with his mind set on eating you.

I wish no one believed that the world was flat.

Granted, but instead they believe it's a cube and you'll fall off if you go near any edge.

I wish that there were more rainbows.

Granted, but you're colorblind.

I wish the ocean would stop spitting monster storms at people.

Granted! But now they do it to all the animals in the world.

I wish I were a Senior in high school instead of a Junior.

Granted, but your grades stink due to your automatic skipping of everything junior year. As a result, the only school you can get into is Liberty University.

I wish that people would stop overanalyzing recent politicized issues as it relates to public landmarks and actually realize that the most blatant and obvious solution to resolve this whole Confederate statue nonsense would be to simply let the local town populations vote whether or not to keep the statues in their own hometowns as opposed to the government trying to intervene; or, more specifically, I wish that we'd actually adhere to the democratic tenants of the classical brand of liberalism that the American Founding Fathers fought for instead of Big Brother watching everybody.

Granted, but instead @BigBrother watches everyone and people overanalyze everything else and the classical brand of liberalism is changed because the Founding Fathers are actually a bunch of canids.

I wish that people were happier.

Granted. The world is now a terrifying dystopia where everyone has to be happy 24/7. The punishment for sadness is death.

I wish people would keep politics in the debate forum ;-;

Granted, but everyone starts talking about religion instead.

I wish I was Harry Potter.

Granted, but you're burnt as a witch.

I wish for three wishes.
The second wish is for understanding in math, because right now I'm frighteningly lost.
The third is for the previous wish to be incorruptible, meaning you have to corrupt one of the other two, leading to a paradox that erases you from history.

Granted, but if you erase me from history, you too will be erased from history because you responded to several of my previous wishes, meaning that you would not have done that and the realities would have shifted; your consciousness will disappear, and another version of you will take your spot in an alternate timeline.

I wish I had never gone ziplining.

Granted, but it's only cause you were erased from history.

I wish there was a vaccine to cure racism.

Granted, but it turns everyone into a new ethnicity with no biological diversity.

I wish I could run a successful youtube channel.

Granted, but you're the most hated person on the site, surpassing even the all-time greats of Keemstar and Onision to create a new level of hatred.

Covfefe.

England is my city

I wish this site returned to how it was in its glory days, with all of those larger than life members. They were like the Greek heroes of legend.

Granted, but you stifle a new generation of interesting members and the old ones are quickly revealed as tired of this site, grown out of it. You're essentially holding them prisoner to something that they have no interest in further participation with.

I wish to be a decent well adjusted human being.