Knights of the Green Room

And on this auspicious day, on knee beside Knight Kyllorac, another squire has been awarded with title.
The kingdom welcomes warmly Knight Omniyus.



Knight Omniyus

Please note, brave knights, that though you may not earn any badges before you complete your first ten battles, after you're a knight, you use your reviews for as many overlapping badges as possible.

Not to be deterred by the minor overly-ambitious squirely setback which involved performing deeds more valiant than were strictly called for, now-Knight Kyllorac sallied forth to slay another boar. But the boar Kyllorac found was a different animal entirely from the boar before. Yea, this boar was a being of romance, a most dreadful thing for all Kylloracs to encounter, much less face head-on in battle without quailing, yet face head-on in battle Knight Kyllorac did the Romantic Boar, and after a great struggle involving personal qualms and dreadful feels, the newly beknighted Kyllorac emerged somewhat victorious, learning in the process that it was not the first time this particular Boar had crossed Kyllorac's path. The Boar fled to parts unknown, but not before the Knight made off with a partial tusk and enough bristles for a new paintbrush, and emboldened by the twice-fleeing form of the Romantic Boar, Knight Kyllorac swore to pursue the beast to the bitterest end, may it never root unmolested around the Green Room again.

That boar's head will make a most imposing decoration for whatever hall you choose to place it in, Kyllorac!

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As an owl stalks its prey by cover of darkness, so Squire Niteowl has hunted down lonely works in the green room. She has dissected the imagery and structure of poetry, tore apart characters and word choices in stories, and picked away at that amorphous category known as "Other". She humbly hopes that her service to this most noble endeavor has earned her the title of "Niteowl, Knight of the Night".

The kingdom acknowledges the loyalty, determination, and knowledge with which Squire Niteowl has fought, and so from this day forth rewards the squire with title. From this day forth, Niteowl, Knight of the Night will stalk the green room, no longer a squire.



Niteowl, Knight of the Night

It was summer, a light rain covering the forest in a ripple. Not to be deterred from her quest, Knight Attack stalked her prey through the Green Room, slinking from tree to tree, crushing the underbrush in her large boots. The slow chitter of creatures in the trees surrounded Attack's thoughts until she managed to silence them with a rough, angry growl. In response, a low growl threatened from the right. With great defiance, Attack threw herself in the way of the promising beast. But lo, did she find herself tangled in the limbs of her own fellow in arms!

Brushing the grass from her sword, Knight Hannah nodded at her attacker and smiled grimly. "A beast does walk these self same paths, Attack, and we shall find it and bring back it's ugly snout." Attack grinned in response, the slow turn of her mouth over teeth turning the gesture feral.

"Lead on, dear fellow. I yearn for the heart of the creature." Together, the knights slipped between the trees and down into the belly of a valley. Here, the trees lay crushed against the ground, narry a bird spoke into the wind. There was no wind to speak to, the knights' throats constricted and they glanced toward each other. With a curt nod, Knight Attack took up her shield high on her chest and slowly moved into the deep undercurrent of the river before them. As quietly as they moved, the beast heard them. The shriek of the creature led the knights to pause only moments before the bank, and then they were upon it!

Horror of horrors, the beast was one of great myth! Two-headed and spitting war, the boar lumbered forward, heads straining against their body. Knight Hannah took the first blow, striking the tongue from the beasts so it may never howl it's horrible noise again. With a cry of challenge, Knight Attack laid her blade against the creature's great hooves and severed one. The creature limped now, attempting to fall back into the cave from whence his ugly maws had eloped. Not to be outdone, Knight Attack threw herself upon the creature's prickled hind as Knight Hannah took her blade into both hands.

"Enough!" She roared as the sword seared through the thick muscles of its neck. The creature kicked slowly until death over came it, eyes milky and black. Knight Hannah sawed her blade through the neck on the grass as Knight Attack struck the head fully from the body of her dead captive.

"We have our beast, my friend, and was it not a glorious hunt?"
"Yes, let us hang it from the ramparts."

Each knight took their head and slung it into a bag over her shoulder, and cleaned her blade. Leaving the body of the boar to the creatures of the valley, the knights strode back into the forest.

Grumbling about time travel track-keeping and lovely ladies robed in red, Knight Kyllorac came across a fellow Knight Omniyus turning out a prized tale to pasture. Never one to leave anything alone, Knight Kyllorac promptly pounced upon the chance to plump up the prized tale with aplomb, and tripped over a sword in the process.

Fortunately for everyone, but most especially Knight Kyllorac, the sword was no longer sharpened along its length, having been modified into a digging implement somewhere along its no-doubt illustrious lifetime. Being in need of a trusty blade, Knight Kyllorac claimed the find and dubbed it Spade, after the task it had up until recently so dutifully fulfilled.

My knights! My knights!
Great news from the front:

There are 0 works with 0 reviews and 51 works with 1 review in the Green Room.

The battle is half-way won. We cannot give up now.
Let us vanquish the rest. There is work to be done.

My knights! In honor of all badge images becoming available this evening, and in honor of an unfortunate event that took place between Knight Kyllorac and Squire Rydia (I shall leave it to Knight Kyllorac to tell the tale and claim his prize), I am releasing a new badge for the claiming!

» The Green Girdle: This noble prize is awarded to a knight should they begin a review on a piece while it is in the Green Room, but have that piece rescued by a different knight while they are writing. This is, hopefully, some consolation. The knight must show his post as the third review on a piece within proper time to claim this badge.

A brave knight emerges from the farthest reaches of the Green Room, covered in brambles, and kneels to receive her proper title. The kingdom welcomes Knight Rydia with cheers and high hearts.



Knight Rydia

I think I will try this. I am Squire Pig...
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Pulling herself from the grips of the green pit below, Squire Totoro throws ten illustrious tales before her, safe from the danger of being buried.

She battled through the most fateful of all places, Procrasti Nation. Never let up in the face of the dreaded laptop screen, fighting on with with one eye covered, and didn't bat an eye lid when one damsel was rescued by another rendering her third place.

Standing on shaky legs, Squire Totoro looks up with a smile, ready for the Knighthood that awaits her.

And with great strength and bravery, Squire Lauren of the Past brandishes her wooden sword, raising it to the Queen for her good approval of the ten long journeys that have molded her.

She never shrunk from battle, bravely rushing to the aid of her Brothers in Arms, whether she may be rewarded for such feats before Knighthood or not. She asks no reward in serving her brothers, and proudly sought after Knight Hannah's extensive trail though was not quick enough to catch all eight pieces in the Green Room (though reviewed diligently, and did discover five - though nonconsecutive - pieces).

Now, Squire Lauren bows before her Queen, proudly awaiting the honor of Knighthood.