Ode to: Scientists, Politicians, Prophets, et all...

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Reviews 80
Life is so easy we just cannot comprehend,
So we try too hard to understand.
That we’ve wasted lives by the time we cannot stand,
And everybody’s empty at the end.

Everybody’s looking for a familiar place,
With a bed, so they can lay their head.
And everyone’s going to the funeral today,
Hoping that it’s a wedding day instead.

Life is so easy we just make it hard,
That’s why it always seems to last so long.
But by the end of it we always yearn for more,
Because we know what life has in store(?).

Children have always had it right,
They spend less time making peace so they can fight.
Why is it that when day turns to night,
Kids are always acting like it’s still light?

Dying’s just a short-sighted solution,
To a problem that doesn’t need to be resolved.
Transcendence is found in the aftermath,
Of a life of apathy without resolve.


Everybody’s got a broken heart sometimes,
That words and thoughts just cannot repair,
And everybody knows the place they cannot go,
So they read the signs, try to learn, and beware.

When she left I read books on everything,
And they just depressed me even more.
I found myself trying to connect everything,
But I lost her caress and found a chore.

A library is no place for a man,
As I find myself following my own plan.
A library is just a cemetary for trees,
A woman is just a man on his knees.

I find myself loving beauty more than brains,
Cause a pretty face doesn’t ever last.
Everyone can learn something anytime,
But grace is always lost to the past.

Dying’s just a short-sighted solution,
To a problem that doesn’t need to be resolved.
Transcendence is found in the aftermath,
Of a life of apathy without resolve.
"This is our decision,
to live fast and die young...
Yeah it's overwhelming,
but what else can we do?
Get jobs in offices and
wake up for the morning commute?

The models will have children,
we'll get a divorce,
find some more models;
everything must run its course!

Fated to Pretend




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Points 4980
Reviews 96
Not to bade of a poem, though the flow could be better.
Here are a few nitpicks.

So we try too hard to understand.
That we’ve wasted lives by the time we cannot stand,


The word stand (even in a different word) shouldn't of been repeated like that.

Hoping that it’s a wedding day instead.


Hoping it's a wedding instead would of flowed a bit better.

Life is so easy we just make it hard,
That’s why it always seems to last so long.
But by the end of it we always yearn for more,
Because we know what life has in store(?).


This stanza could've been broken into two different stanzas using commas and periods.

Dying’s just a short-sighted solution,
To a problem that doesn’t need to be resolved.
Transcendence is found in the aftermath,
Of a life of apathy without resolve.

Though this last stanza makes a very good conclusion.
Noni Naps Through Nano
NaPoWriMo 2016
Stories Not Otherwise My Own

AnnieJaePayne
The Three Ninjateers
Being awesome since Jan 2012.




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Gender Male
Points 747
Reviews 18
Hello
Personally I find this poem magnificent, I don't agree with the previous reviewer that it needs some changes for it to flow a bit a better. It's already perfect. Good job.
Besides, this poem looks like a fable, it's full of wise sentences, something like sayings, words of wisdom.
But I don't get this verse : " I find myself loving beauty more than brains,
Cause a pretty face doesn’t ever last. "




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 747
Reviews 18
Hello
Personally I find this poem magnificent, I don't agree with the previous reviewer that it needs some changes for it to flow a bit better. It's already perfect. Good job.
Besides, this poem looks like a fable, it's full of wise sentences, something like, sayings or words of wisdom:

"Life is so easy we just cannot comprehend,
So we try too hard to understand."

The only thing I find odd is the comparison you made in the following verse : " I find myself loving beauty more than brains,
Cause a pretty face doesn’t ever last. "

I see a contradiction here, and I have a question: Do you love beauty because it fades and dissipates through the course of time? If yes, then the brain dissolves too. I wonder why and how you made this comparison between the brain and beauty??!!
If you mean that brains are immortals, and you allude to the great unforgettable artistic works throughout history, then your message is clear. You love beauty more because you are afraid it will disappear sooner or later, so you long to enjoy it as far as possible. Nevertheless I still find this allegory or contrast a bit strange and I can't wait to hear the explanation from the great poet himself.

Overall, your poem is everything but unlikable :) Keep writing:)


Greatness is being humble when you are successful . " Author unknown"




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Gender Male
Points 575
Reviews 80
just call me a romantic
"This is our decision,
to live fast and die young...
Yeah it's overwhelming,
but what else can we do?
Get jobs in offices and
wake up for the morning commute?

The models will have children,
we'll get a divorce,
find some more models;
everything must run its course!

Fated to Pretend



It's like everyone tells a story about themselves inside their own head. Always. All the time. That story makes you what you are. We build ourselves out of that story.
— Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind