Okay that story was so difficult to read so difficult, why is everyone doing these all of sudden?
We get off to the rhythm of the trigger and destruction. Fallujah to New Orleans with impunity to kill. We are the hidden fist of the free market.
We are the ink, we are the quill.
[The Ink And The Quill (Be Afraid) - Anti-Flag]
what is the point is writing without using the correct language, it just makes it harder to read. Also you seem to write in as if you are having a conversation with a very blonde person (I don't mean to cause offence to anybody who is blonde, i was using the term metaphorically), this makes the story seem a bit conversational.
The word 'like' by the way is a comparative word as I'm sure you know so you really don't need to put it in when describing something non-comparitively.
I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.
