The corrupt a wish game!!

Granted! Unfortunately, you never clarified how much better, so your writing skills will increase in amazingness by .01%. A helpful YWS review would benefit you more than that would.

I wish that my dog, Abigail, could speak English.

Granted, but all she ever does is ask for food. Quite annoying.

I wish I could fly. :O

You can fly now, but you can't control yourself and so you keep bumping into walls. You may never be happy again.

I wish I could be a tree

Granted! The thing is, you never specified where you want to be planted, so you will be a tree directly in the path of acid rain. Pity.

I wish I had cake right now.

I have to refrain from saying the cake was a lie because that would be so, so lazy.

You get your cake and you eat it. And then the cake, which just happened to be the cheapest cake whomever you got the wish from could haggle off the nearest witch.
And upon eating that cake, you promptly turn into a harpy.

I wish that I could be the hero of the kingdom, who went on an epic quest and prevailed against all odds, by the power of persistance, and friendship.

Now, how do you choose to backfire my good fortune?

Granted! You are hailed throughout the kingdom as a hero and granted wealth, nobility, and as much land as you'd care to own. Unfortunately you die the next day on the poisoned blade of the Grand Vizier, who installs a puppet lord in your place. Nothing personal; it's just the next step in his plot to overthrow the king.

I wish for all world leaders to spontaneously develop the ability to agree with one another.

Granted, but they all agree that the world is better off without agreement, and thus, agree to disagree with one another.

I wish I had a Snickers candy bar.

Granted! But it's the only thing you eat for the rest of your life...

I wish I had an older brother.

Granted! He is caring, kind, funny, and anyhing you could ever want in a brother, and you and the whole family are very happy with him.
But his evil fairy aunt is offended that you didn't invite her to the welcome home party, and turns him into a monkey, and now you have to go on a fetch quest to the magical land of
Whattalottahooey and find a princess willing to kiss a monkey.


I wish I was a pretty pretty magical girl with a cute animal mascot, a gorgeous signature costume, and uber-cool magical attacks.

Granted! However, you cannot control your magic, and there is no way you can learn. Your magic kills hundreds of people, and you get carted off to jail.

Also, your animal has rabies.

I wish I could see what my future will be like...

Granted! But upon finding out that it will only result in terrible tragedy, you go insane and spend the rest of your life in a mental asylum. Bit of a paradox, but time can be rewritten.

I wish I lived in a cooler (as in temperature) place.

Enjoy the New York Zoo's penguin exhibit.



I wish there would be a pretty full moon tonight.

Granted. But a werewolf transforms because of the full moon and eats you.

I wish that I could rewrite my life from the beginning.

Granted! But the alternate reality gets horribly messed up and you die on a roller coaster.

I wish I could lucid dream every night.

Granted but you never wake and die while you dream.

I wish I could speak a different language.