Make Up The Worst Possible Opening Line Ever

Nate · 2004-12-18T01:09:42Z

Here's a new activity... come up with the worst line you can think of to open up a story/novel. To get you started, here are some examples from Edward Bulyar Lytton award, which gives a prize to the author of the worst opening for a novel each year: * "As a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he were ever to break wind in the sound chamber he would never hear the end of it." * "Just beyond the Narrows the river widens." * "With a curvaceous figure that Venus would have envied, a tanned unblemished oval face framed with lustrous thick brown hair, deep azure-blue eyes fringed with long black lashes, perfect teeth that vied for competition, and a small straight nose, Marilee had a beauty that defied description." * "Andre, a simple peasant, had only one thing on his mind as he crept along the east wall: "Andre creep... Andre creep... Andre creep." * "Stanislaus Smedley, a man always on the cutting edge of narcissism, was about to give his body and soul to a back-alley sex-change surgeon -- to become the woman he loved." * "Stanley looked quite bored and somewhat detached, but then penguins often do." * "Like an overripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with cottage cheese, the corpulent remains of Santa Claus lay dead on the hotel floor." * "Mike Hardware was the kind of private eye who didn't know the meaning of the word "fear," a man who could laugh in the face of danger and spit in the eye of death-- in short, a moron with suicidal tendencies. * "The sun oozed over the horizon, shoved aside darkness, crept along the greensward, and, with sickly fingers, pushed through the castle window, revealing the pillaged princess, hand at throat, crown asunder, gaping in frenzied horror at the sated, sodden amphibian lying beside her, disbelieving the magnitude of the toad's deception, screaming madly, "You lied!"

IamTraunt

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Fri Sep 26, 2014 8:43 pm

IamTraunt says... · Fri Sep 26, 2014 8:43 pm

I walked across a field, fell down a rabbit hole and ate a giraffe.

Before you judge me...
Make sure you're perfect.

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― Mark Twain

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r4p17

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Fri Sep 26, 2014 8:48 pm

r4p17 says... · Fri Sep 26, 2014 8:48 pm

"Who let the dogs out?! Briley, was it you?!

*hint: there is no " at the end of the dialogue*

One writer with one imagination makes thousands of new worlds and stories." ~ Anonymous author

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IamTraunt

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Fri Sep 26, 2014 8:52 pm

IamTraunt says... · Fri Sep 26, 2014 8:52 pm

"Let's get a divorce. I married you for your money," Sheila said.
"Okay," replied Dean.

Before you judge me...
Make sure you're perfect.

"Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”
― Mark Twain

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r4p17

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Fri Sep 26, 2014 9:28 pm

r4p17 says... · Fri Sep 26, 2014 9:28 pm

I have writers block and I am bored so that is why I decided to write this!

One writer with one imagination makes thousands of new worlds and stories." ~ Anonymous author

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IamTraunt

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Fri Sep 26, 2014 9:31 pm

IamTraunt says... · Fri Sep 26, 2014 9:31 pm

I like stories. Yes. Yes, I do.

Before you judge me...
Make sure you're perfect.

"Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”
― Mark Twain

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r4p17

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Fri Sep 26, 2014 10:49 pm

r4p17 says... · Fri Sep 26, 2014 10:49 pm

I win!

One writer with one imagination makes thousands of new worlds and stories." ~ Anonymous author

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Pompadour

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Fri Sep 26, 2014 10:51 pm

Pompadour says... · Fri Sep 26, 2014 10:51 pm

'This story is about a girl who fell in love with a hawt rockstar and involves angst.'

How to format poetry on YWS

this sky where we live is no place to lose your wings

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Zolen

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Fri Sep 26, 2014 11:12 pm

Zolen says... · Fri Sep 26, 2014 11:12 pm

It was then that I discovered my poop was floating in the bowl.

Self quoting is the key to sounding wise and all knowing.

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r4p17

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Fri Sep 26, 2014 11:22 pm

r4p17 says... · Fri Sep 26, 2014 11:22 pm

In a galaxy far far away, there were once Guardians!

One writer with one imagination makes thousands of new worlds and stories." ~ Anonymous author

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KatGirl

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Fri Sep 26, 2014 11:59 pm

KatGirl says... · Fri Sep 26, 2014 11:59 pm

i think this one will be prettie cool made it specialee for u guyz cuz i know u'd lik it. read or else iall do somethin

meow.

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Rurouni

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Sat Sep 27, 2014 1:53 am

Rurouni says... · Sat Sep 27, 2014 1:53 am

This is the end of the story, now go home.

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r4p17

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Sat Sep 27, 2014 1:56 am

r4p17 says... · Sat Sep 27, 2014 1:56 am

And I lived happily ever after!

One writer with one imagination makes thousands of new worlds and stories." ~ Anonymous author

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TimmyJake

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Sat Sep 27, 2014 1:34 pm

TimmyJake says... · Sat Sep 27, 2014 1:34 pm

Call me Timmy

Used to be tIMMYjAKE

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r4p17

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Sat Sep 27, 2014 2:57 pm

r4p17 says... · Sat Sep 27, 2014 2:57 pm

Everyone has a right to my opinion!

One writer with one imagination makes thousands of new worlds and stories." ~ Anonymous author

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Pamplemousse

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Sat Sep 27, 2014 3:00 pm

Pamplemousse says... · Sat Sep 27, 2014 3:00 pm

This story will make you go insane, close this book NOW.

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