a poem (warning, this piece has a lot of adult language)

You can all go fuck yourselves.
In fact, you can fuck yourself up your asses.
Take your foot, insert in ass,
far enough to taste your own fucking toe jam,
you sick bastards.
You want some advice?
Here you go, you sick sack of shit.
Eat a fucking ballsack.
Big
hangy,
sweaty,
floppy,
sticky
ballsack.
I hope you get crabs, and itch to the end of your days,
you anal wart in the cheaks of the asshole of society known as your fucking front yard.
I dont mean any of this in a bad way,
all due respect,
but you are no better than a cold sore on the back of my throat
after ive been forced to orally please a member of the same sex
with a dick three times wider than my forearm,
you whorish pea brained slut from the smelliest part of the devils anus,
you low life son of a bitch.
You incestuous clod!
You good for nothing,
piss stain on the sheets of the world.
You are worse than a shit fart on my face,
or a tetnus shot in the head of my penis.
You are a [explitive deleted] head.


PS: Oh, my apologies for the crude language in the last line there, that was uncalled for.

The bad part of this poem is that it's displayed on the main page, whether you like this kind of language or not.

there's a warning. You dont like swearing, then dont open the thread, its that easy.

Actually, Qi, it's on the front page and it's pretty unavoidable.

O.O ooooooh kay........Qi, whats the name of this poem? "You are so ugly the last time i talked to you on the phone i got ear infection"? Personally, i dont see anything artistic in this poem, more like shitting in a closet. To dump everyhting bad in your so you can feel better. Next please...

Well, it's definitely a poem of anger...it reminds me of how this certain kid speaks to me,lol.
God. I'm glad my mom didn't see this when she walked by my computer today I didn't like this poem but I tried giving you the benefit of a doubt.

"I dont mean any of this in a bad way,
all due respect,"

was quite hilarious. But overall, I think the language got a little bit...out of hand. I know you said "(warning, this piece has a lot of adult language)" and it had to XXX rating but still...it was a bit much to be a non-adult website. A majority of the people on this site are between the ages of 13-16. I think it would go fine on the other site Nate's coming out with.

The title is
"You can go Fuck yourself."
or "insult"
or better yet "You incestuous clod!"

I actually wasn't angry at all when i wrote it.

What was the point of this poem? Its so cluttered with adult language that I can't see what its sopposed to be about. I can't even call this poetry really, just a big rant full of swear words...

While the last part was amusing...

This is not poetry. This is an example of people who call themselves writers but still sink to the lowest parts of society where a thesaurus or dictionary is apparently unavailable.

I think it's disgusting and extremely puerile.

Okay, looked at it with my younger sister! Our comments?

The words "pea brained" should be "pea-brained." Remember that you are describing someone as this adjective, therefore it is in one word.

Also "devils" should be "devil's" since it is possesive.

Also, my sister and I are wondering if doctors normally put a tetnus shot up the penis. We are not doctors, nor are we men, so we're not quite sure, but it makes us wonder. And my brother won't tell us (though I have asked). Since you seem so open on this matter, can you enlighten us?

I think its a pretty interesting commentary on how we talk to one another in American society. Its FUNNY. Espeically that last bit. You people take yourselfs too seriously. You ought to know by now not to take anything Qi writes at face-value.

No, they do not do tetnus shots up the penis. Tetnus shots are notoriously painful, and inserting a cathider (which goes up the urethra) is excruciatingly painful. so a shot up that particularly sensitive region would hurt even more.

I echo Gal on her comment about American society, which you have to admit is at least some what true.
Furthermore, I don't think that writing must be obscenity free to be true art; it is the job of the writer to record the world around him or herself, and if you haven't noticed, folks, the world is full of obscene things happening, be it the denial of basic civil rights, or a government's abandonment of it's people.

To address specifically the style of FuFu's poem, I think there is something to be said for the art of excess -- beyond shere shock value, what statement does this make to you? Does the shere magnitude of obscene language make it less offense, or more? I'm only the ninth person, including the author, to respond to this poem. There are what, several hundred, if not over a thousand, members of this site? Why have so many of us passed this by? Is it because we just avoid anything that looks potentially frightening, or do we simply not care anymore?

Interesting imagery Qi, especially the bit about the shot... *Cringes*

I thought it was pointless, not because it was offensive, which it wasn't really, but because it sounds like an 8-year-old who just learnt all the swear words wrote this.

Swear all you want in your poems. Just make it sound good at the same time.

Sound good to whom, fire? Are you the grand master of what is or isn't good poetry anymore?

Read through this whole forum. Every poetry section. There's a LOT that doesn't sound good to me. It sounds whiney and infantile. Go tell them their poetry doesn't sound good, hmm? Or are we all so caught up in our own meaningless self-importance that we've forgotten that part of the reason poetry exists is to make people uncomfortable with their world. It EXISTS to make commentary about the way we, as a species, treat eachother. Immitating that treatment, if need be. I can't think of a single good beat poet who hasn't used swearing in a poem to make a point. The greats knew what they were doing, and they were despised as writers when they first hit the scene. Try, just TRY to see a reason to like this poem rather than hate it. See the good first, THEN worry about the bad.