You Know You Want Some [re-opened]

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Hi! Because you have entered, it seems you would like a review from me. That's wonderful.


What I'd rather not review:

    Fanfiction
    Fantasy
    Sci-fi
    Very long chapters
    Multiple chapters - give me one at a time.*


What I'd rather review:

Everything else. But please keep in mind that I can't really go that deep into poems - I'll try my best, but I might not always understand them. ;)


What I focus on while reviewing:

    Nit-picks (like grammar, spelling, structure, awkwardly phrased sentences)
    Believability etc. (eg. in dialogue)
    Overall impression
    Rhyme scheme/rhythm (in poetry)
    Imagery (in poetry)


What you should do:

Give me the link and genre of the piece you want to be reviewed. If you want, you can say a few words about the piece.


*What you shouldn't do:

Give me more than one piece of yours at a time. (If you do this, I will most likely only review the first one.) After I've reviewed that one, you can ask for more.


Payment:

None. Although, I might like you better if you treated me with some chocolate every now and then.


In queue:

None!


Please note:

I hope you can be patient. I will do what I've promised to do, but sometimes I'm more busy and can't do the review very quickly, especially if there's a queue. Thanks for understanding. :)



Fire away! ;)
Last edited by Demeter on Mon Dec 21, 2009 12:54 pm, edited 67 times in total.
"Your jokes are scarier than your earrings." -Twit

"14. Pretend like you would want him even if he wasn't a prince. (Yeah, right.)" -How to Make a Guy Like You - Disney Princess Style

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Hey there Demeter, it'd be great if you'd review this for me
it's called Adelaide, a prologue.
And yes, it's ridden with spelling errors and such but I really need overall impressions, it is terrible so it'd be great for some criticism. Thankyou :)
-Kirsten xxx

topic39240.html
for what are we without words and stories?




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I'd like a review on my poem please. It's called "Two Maidens" and it's a narrative poem about friendship and romance. Also, I do have cookies (although I don't think it's feasible to get them all the way to Finland :P).

http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/post459183.html#459183
"You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand." Leonardo Da Vinci

<YWS><R1>




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topic39570.html

I don't mind you tearing apart, honest.
:D
x
Had I the heavens embroider'd cloths,
I would spread the cloths under your feet.
But I being poor, have only my dreams,
So tread softly, for you tread on my life.




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Please review these:


http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic34985.html The ripper prologue


Pliide :D
To copy reality is good... But to create reality is much, much better.
-Giuseppe Verdi-




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If you like:

topic39886.html

It's a poem. Nothing special though.
"Half the time the poem writes me." ~Meshugenah




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Hi Demeter! :D
I'm anti-pop. I have a piece I'd like to enter in a contest, but I'd like some feedback before I send it in:
topic40024.html

Oh, and I donate points to those who I ask to review my work, simply because my laptop got a bit upset when I tried to send some homemade cookies via email....I'd rather not talk about it.

Thanks so much!


*anti-pop
...Bitter cold, it grows
changing holds
cynicism the new norm...

-Libretto




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romantic fiction: topic40060.html

review please???

Tiff
There is nothing to writing; all you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein~ Red Smith

Who needs a review? :) http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic38078.html




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No queue! This is your chance!
"Your jokes are scarier than your earrings." -Twit

"14. Pretend like you would want him even if he wasn't a prince. (Yeah, right.)" -How to Make a Guy Like You - Disney Princess Style

Got YWS?




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topic40616.html
Could you critique this for me?
It's only 578 words so it wouldn't take long ;)
It'd be so helpful to get some opinions on it :)
Thanks so much *-)
x
for what are we without words and stories?




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There you go. ;)
"Your jokes are scarier than your earrings." -Twit

"14. Pretend like you would want him even if he wasn't a prince. (Yeah, right.)" -How to Make a Guy Like You - Disney Princess Style

Got YWS?




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Well... Mine is unfortunately long, so you don't have to review if you can't make it through it all. It is an Other Fiction and my first story I have posted and it is only a prologue. I was just wondering if you felt like reading and telling me how to improve on it which I really do need help with.
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic40519.html
There you go!
Please and thank you.
~Incognito Temptation
'Everyone is entitled to be stupid, some just abuse the priviledge.'




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Chapter 1 - topic40209.htmla

Chapter 2 - topic40419.html

It's not much romantic stuff.

It has vampires - does that count as sci fi/fantasy? Sorry...

I would really like chapter 2 reviewed. Chapter 1 is only there if you want to see what has been done so far...?
Writing gives my life purpose




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topic40423.html

It's called 'Watching Mermaids' (just incase I pasted the wrong link!) and it would be great if you would review it, it hasn't had many!

Please take your time though if you have other reviews waiting and I appreciate that it's christmas as well :D

Thank you!

Sofi.
'Don't you just love these long rainy afternoons in New Orleans when an hour isn't just an hour but a little bit of Eternity dropped into your hands- and who knows what to do with it?'
T.W.




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No queue ;)
"Your jokes are scarier than your earrings." -Twit

"14. Pretend like you would want him even if he wasn't a prince. (Yeah, right.)" -How to Make a Guy Like You - Disney Princess Style

Got YWS?



You don't need to follow me! You don't need to follow anybody! You got to think for yourselves!
— Brian Cohen