I like pie ^^

Nutty · 2008-10-19T10:06:56Z

Okay guys, I've been here for a while now, and am now an Instructor, so it is time for me to buckle down and help out! What I will critique: -Anything from the fiction forums. i.e Sci-fi, Fantasy, Other fiction etc. -If you want me to critique fanfiction, however, check if I know what it is based on first, or I'll be lost! -I'm willing to give my opinion on art, but I'm no guru. What I won't critique: - Poetry. I don't know enough about how poetry works to be much use, I'm afraid ^^ -Lyrics. Can't write a song to save myself. -Scripts Cost: I expect nothing in return, and I will do my best to be as much use as possible :wink: First come, first served. I'll post the title of critiqued stories here: (Now hidden, the list was getting long. Click below to check it out) [spoiler] -Scavenger 1.1- TL-G Wooster (Oct 30th) -Scavenger 1.2- TL-G Wooster (Nov 2nd) -Scavenger 1.3- TL-G Wooster (Nov 2nd) -Heart's illusion prologue- Maki-Chan (Nov 9th) ***sorry for the delay, have been doing exams*** -Heart's illusion- Maki-Chan (Dec 1st) -Project Fugato-Reason Invalid (Dec 1st) -Project Fugato (2)- Reason Invalid (Dec 1st) -Walking in the dark- LovableLittleSock (Dec 1st) -Chapter ten, Childhood-wisemann210 (Dec 3rd) -The Method of Madness-melkor (Dec 3rd) -Well this shouldn't be! prologue- Lord Anzius (Dec 3rd) -The mansion chapter 1- Lord Anzius (Dec 4th) -The mansion chapter 2-Lord Anzius (Dec 6th) -The ripper prologue-Lord Anzius (Dec 6th) -Adelade, a prologue- Lost_in_dreamland (Dec 6th) -Already Won Me- Lilymoore (Dec 8th) -Dr/Mr Vandergaurd-Kissthewitch (Dec 9th) -My Dearest Madelyn-anti-pop (Dec 14th) -Cat steps-Rosey Unicorn (Dec 15th) -The love Note (heavily edited)- Jamie_rocks (Dec 15th) -Come back with me-KailiaMarie (Dec 18th) -Chapter one of my werewolf story- Haruno Sakura (Dec 16th) -Killer's point of View- LilyJamey (Dec 18th) -Poison Love-Night Mistress (Dec 18-19th...done over midnight LOL) -Accidents happen- Kaylyn (Dec 20th) -Poison Love chapter one-Night Mistress (Dec 21st) -Well, this shouldn't be chapter one- Lord Anzius (Dec 21st) -Well, this shouldn't be chapter two- Lord Anzius (Dec 21st) **sorry. Camping and holiday stuff. >

Jamie_rocks

Gender

Points 890

Reviews 52

Mon Dec 15, 2008 12:58 am

Jamie_rocks says... · Mon Dec 15, 2008 12:58 am

Um, yeah, what Melkor said!

Name: The Love Note
Genre: Supernatural
Word Count: 4622
Link: post467874.html#467874

It's really long, so I'll understand if you don't want to review it, but I really could use feedback.

Alcohol, Tobacco, & Firearms should be a convenience store, not a government agency.

Nutty

Supporter

Gender

Points 794

Reviews 280

Mon Dec 15, 2008 7:17 am

Nutty says... · Mon Dec 15, 2008 7:17 am

Don't be silly, Jamie, I would never turn down a request.
Anyway, they are all done- any more?

It's not easy having a good time. Even smiling makes my face ache.

Antigone Cadmus

Gender

Points 3225

Reviews 365

Tue Dec 16, 2008 12:15 am

Antigone Cadmus says... · Tue Dec 16, 2008 12:15 am

Please review?

topic40098.html
Genre: Fantasy

i know it needs to be edited. I used to think it was okay, but now... *sigh*

Thank you!

Odi et amo. quare id faciam, fortasse requiris?
nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior.
-Catullus, Carmen 85

Nutty

Supporter

Gender

Points 794

Reviews 280

Tue Dec 16, 2008 10:51 pm

Nutty says... · Tue Dec 16, 2008 10:51 pm

All done.
More? *looks hopeful*

It's not easy having a good time. Even smiling makes my face ache.

KailaMarie

Gender

Points 3129

Reviews 108

Wed Dec 17, 2008 3:31 am

KailaMarie says... · Wed Dec 17, 2008 3:31 am

http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/post400537.html#400537

I just edited this, I hope it's better. (:

...

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[url]spottedturtle.tumblr.com[/url]

LilyJamey

Gender

Points 1475

Reviews 58

Wed Dec 17, 2008 9:08 am

LilyJamey says... · Wed Dec 17, 2008 9:08 am

http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic40210.html
Thanks! It's only 922 words. I need help on how to extend his background without making it sound cheesy. I edited it once already.

Got YWS?

Night Mistress

Gender

Points 1040

Reviews 250

Thu Dec 18, 2008 12:35 am

Night Mistress says... · Thu Dec 18, 2008 12:35 am

will you review this for me?

topic31457.html-Prolouge

"I love you," she whispered in his ear, before taking his mouth with her own.

~Elizzabeth Grey of Addicting Posion

Nutty

Supporter

Gender

Points 794

Reviews 280

Thu Dec 18, 2008 11:34 am

Nutty says... · Thu Dec 18, 2008 11:34 am

There, all up to date again.
Any more?

It's not easy having a good time. Even smiling makes my face ache.

Kaylyn

Gender

Points 9917

Reviews 297

Thu Dec 18, 2008 1:37 pm

Kaylyn says... · Thu Dec 18, 2008 1:37 pm

YES!

topic40339.html

As your pretty, so be wise,
Wolves may lurk in every guise.

Night Mistress

Gender

Points 1040

Reviews 250

Thu Dec 18, 2008 3:06 pm

Night Mistress says... · Thu Dec 18, 2008 3:06 pm

back again.

this is chapter one: topic32635.html

"I love you," she whispered in his ear, before taking his mouth with her own.

~Elizzabeth Grey of Addicting Posion

Lord Anzius

Gender

Points 511

Reviews 127

Thu Dec 18, 2008 9:01 pm

Lord Anzius says... · Thu Dec 18, 2008 9:01 pm

Well This shouldn't be Chptr 1&2:

http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic37125.html

http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic37502.html
The mansion chptr 3 and 4:

http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic35811.html

http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic35930.html

To copy reality is good... But to create reality is much, much better.
-Giuseppe Verdi-

lucyy

Gender

Points 1040

Reviews 174

Thu Dec 18, 2008 9:12 pm

lucyy says... · Thu Dec 18, 2008 9:12 pm

Now, this started off as a story piece for English, but now I have it handed in and graded, I was thinking that I would love to expand on it a bit more. So, I would love a harsh, truthful critique, please, to help me along with this new working progress.
It's in 'Other Fiction' and is a short horror story. Please, take your time on it, here is the link and many, many thanks in advance!!

topic36701.html

--Lucyy xx

"Don't think, or judge. Just Listen."

JosephDean

Gender

Points 1117

Reviews 80

Sat Dec 20, 2008 7:15 pm

JosephDean says... · Sat Dec 20, 2008 7:15 pm

If you wouldn't mind...

Tomorrow Does Not Exist

I. topic40092.html
II. topic40155.html
III. post470580.html
IV. topic40731.html

I don't like throwing stories at people, lol, so if there's anything I can do in return, please don't hesitate to ask!