April 2025 Camp NovMo: All that Glitters / EDITING MADNESSSS

OKAY. I neeeeeeeeeeeeed to take a mental break from the Swans (maybe throw it to beta readers and try not to mind as they chew up the first book, hahah) so I am going back to All That Glitters and give it the love it deserves.

The last time I'd worked on it, I alllllmost finished the Golden Horse portion. Like, he literally just got imprisoned and needs his next mission... to find the Golden Mermaid! So I want to finish that section up because I'm literally several hundred words from finishing that part up.

I also want to start on the next section, which is about the Golden Mermaid, which he finds a lot harder to just... steal once he finds out that this mermaid is a real person and not just a mere beast. Like, yeah, he'll steal a bird. Or a horse. But a person? That's not mere thievery. That's kidnapping and forcing her to be enslaved by a king that probably doesn't have good motives. I think Prince Tristian would be very much against that, especially since he understands how horrible it is to be at the whims of powerful people. I probably won't finish it within the month. But like. It'll be fun.

This sounds fun! I’m assuming All That Glitters has been in development for some time.

When is this part of the novel taking place? Is the section on the golden mermaid more in the middle or even further on? Either way it sounds like a great alternate to work on while taking a break from your other work!

Snoink what is a NovMo event without SWANNNSSSSSSSS??
but for real I'm excited that you're able to send that one to betas and take a little break after so much work!! I remember this one from a previous NovMo event, and I wish you many happy words!!

It’s so great that you’re letting yourself have a break from Swans! I haven’t met All That Glitters before, but it looks like another exciting project with original characters and worldbuilding! Can’t wait to see you around camp, Snoink!

OH. There's some people new to my story?? Okay! Here's my brief pitch:

After a golden bird comes to his kingdom and nearly destroys his mother's beloved tree, Prince Tristian goes on a quest to find the golden bird -- and finds himself on the adventure of a lifetime.

An adventurous, dark fairy tale retelling starring...

... the youngest prince who has always lived in the shadows of his older brothers, but now it's his time to shine.

... a snarky talking wolf who is totally not a sorcerer.

... a jaded sea witch who perhaps isn't as jaded as she pretends.

... a golden mermaid with a heart of gold.

... villainous kings and princes who totally get what's coming to them.

It's a super fun story to write. It's based on two very similar fairytales ("The Golden Mermaid" (Andrew Lang) or "The Golden Bird" (Brothers Grimm) and I looooove it. It's always been my favorite fairy tale, so I am happy to make it shine.

In the story, the prince...
Discovers the Golden Tree is being attacked (already written!
Tracks down and tries to steal the bird (already written!)
Tracks down and tries to steal the horse (SO CLOSE TO BEING FINISHED)
Tracks down and tries to kidnap the mermaid (would like to finish this for Camp)
Victoriously collects his spoils and frees his brothers... whoops
Reclaims his Kingdom

So I'm about halfway through!

It's been my fun project for about two NovMos so far, though usually I write for Swans for Camps. So this is its first Camp Nano appearance!

Carlito>> I knooow. Honestly, if I get stuck with this story, I'm probably going to procrastinate on Swans. Book 2 is a bloated 180K words right now, and I am absolutely confident that I can get it trimmed to at least 120K by trimming the language and revising several plot points that I was going to revise anyway. Which means that its next draft is going to be soooo good.

Though like... also, this project is also me trying to get published, since I hear that right now agents are wary about taking on projects that are series. So like... this is a stand-alone novel! Maybe if I can't get any interest from my Swans series, I can use this to get my foot into the door!

(I knooooow. Sneaky sneaky.)

How cool! Fairy tale retelling are so fun. I like your story building and it seems like you have a great vision of what you want to do this Camp! Can’t wait to see what’s next.

YAYAY you got this, Snoink!! >:]

AHHHH THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

Okay. So I did say that there might be some days editing?????

YEAH. So for Day 1, I deleted 2k from Book 1 by deleting my fourth chapter.

Honestly, I am actually relieved. The chapter kind of repeated several things that had already been covered in the previous chapters. And while it was an interesting repetition, it wasn't altogether necessary and it was delaying the readers' meeting with Cyrus... who is awesome!

So I took some of the interesting bits and integrated them earlier in the story. Then I kept the ending (the girls are working together to write a letter to Uclepidies) and stuck that on the previous chapter.

Altogether, I am really happy about the edits??? The chapter I added to resolves a little more cleanly, the pacing is better, and just overall it was a Good Edit.

I am still nervous about editing at this point because I've cut soooo much already that I'm worried I'm getting to the point where if I edit much more, I'll have to cut from the heart of the story. However, clearly I am not there yet and there is room to cut, which makes me happy.

Here's hoping I can trim this book to a reasonable length for YA novels! This by no means makes this book immediately publishable... I can think of several things that might cut this book's chances from being published, hahaha. But! It's still getting better, and that's the important part!

Thats awesome!

LOL. This is the April in which I rarely update any of my Nano threads. XD

ANYWAY. UM. DID I MENTION I WAS EDITING????

I kind of got a huge brainwave for Book 1, so I'm just riding the wave!

For Day 2, I deleted several hundred words. It was good.

For Day 3... I decided to add a chapter to Book 1??? The book that I supposedly need to trim???? Hahaha, I am dooooooomed.

My justification:

Spoiler

Alainna's character arc ends... really suddenly in Book 1, which now that I'm writing the query, just seems... really disappointing? Because she is one of the main forces in the query, whereas Cyrus is kind of extraneous in the query right now. But it's Cyrus and Solea that have the final ending, whereas Alainna's ending is a lot more muted.

LIKE. Realistically??? The sudden ending between Alainna and Solea makes sense. (As Cyrus says in Book 4, sometimes there's never a chance to say goodbye.) But fictionally speaking??? It's nicer to have stories with nicely tied up ends and closure. So I want to write an ending for them both, as a kind of a peaceful moment between the sisters where they kind of understand each other, before they have the epic snowball fight of dooooooooom that starts off the climax.

Anyway, because I also love to read the blurbs... here is a part of the scene with no major spoilers!

Spoiler

Alainna glanced around until her eyes settled on the vanity off in the corner, hidden partially by a changing screen with a forest painted on. “Here, I’ll brush your hair,” she said, grabbing Solea’s hand and pulling her there.

Solea raised her eyebrow. “You’ll brush my hair?”

Alainna shrugged. “It’s what my mother always did when I had a nightmare. I always thought it was nice. Considering today has seemed like a nightmare, I thought it seemed appropriate.” Alainna ushered Solea to the seat in front of the mirror and grabbed a hairbrush.

Solea snorted. “Aren’t you the Lady? Isn’t there a rule against you brushing your handmaid’s hair?”

Alainna made a face. “I think I need to take a break from being the Lady for tonight, at least. Besides, you’re not just my handmaid. You’re also my sister.”

...anyway! That's what I've been up to!

*blinks*

Book 2 Edits

I've edited... a lot. Book 2 is now at about 167K words, which SOUNDS bloated (and it is bloated!), but remember that it was at about 193K words just a couple of weeks ago when I started trimming, so I've deleted more than 25K words so far.

Anyway. I want to talk about game plans for continuing editing...

Right now, I am trimming without (1) rewriting major sections and (2) looking at any fancy grammar programs or whatever for assistance. It's just me and the manuscript. MIND YOU. I have several scenes that I want to rewrite (ahem, the garden scene, hahaha). Also, the grammar programs are amazing and will help me streamline it further when I'm ready to get into the weeds. Still, the manuscript is rough enough right now that I can still trim an amazing amount without having to do either of these two things. I've trimmed about 25K so far in this way.

I want to trim my manuscript to 160K (so about 7K more words!) before I start rewriting several major scenes, which I predict will knock my writing down to about 140K. Then I'll get into the weeds with the grammar and see about knocking it down at 20K (boooooo glue words). At that point, I think I'll set the story aside because I think 120K for a sequel is not so bad??? (Sequels are allowed to be a little longer... I think???) In any case, it seems a little silly to try to get it slimmer when I don't even have representation for book 1, hahaha.

As for rewriting... I have several thoughts...

There are three places in the story that seem to take forever: (1) in the room, (2) in the garden, (3) in the ruins.

The garden is particularly egregious because it SHOULD seem like a little side quest, but it just goes on forever, and two relatively minor characters (aka Clarise and Adelore) have these ridiculous backstories and subplots that like... desperately need to be rewritten, both to make their parts just... more believable (hahaha, ouch) and just... consolidated. Yes, they're charismatic characters and, if they could, they would make the whole story about themselves, but STILL. They're not the main characters!!!

The room and the ruins don't need to be rewritten so badly. I think. Mostly just trimmed, hahaha. But I would like to outline them and see about streamlining their sections nonetheless.

Book 1 edits

I failed at stepping back, hahha. The book is standing at less than 112K now. Though like... whereas, if I work really really hard on Book 2, I can easily trim thousands of words, Book 1 is getting trim enough that a good day of editing is like... maybe a hundred words. >.>

Ahhhhhhh.

Book 2 Edits

I've trimmed it down to 164K, which means I've trimmed it down by 29K words! I am SO CLOSE to my goal of getting it to 160K without major rewrites! (The major rewrites should reduce the word count... theoretically, haha.) And I haven't even done the grammar check things that usually cut down my word count even further.

Book 1 Edits

I am about... a third through the story and I've managed to trim it down to 110.6K... so far. Seeing as this is in the YA fantasy genre, the closer to 100K, the better off I am. I *think* I can get it down to at least 106K by the time I finish this edit??? Which, while not 100K, is definitely better than 116K, which is where I was at three weeks ago, when I realized I need to trim further, hahaha. ^^

Embarrassing Thoughts

I am ****embarrassed**** to admit how nice the drafts are looking now that I've trimmed then so drastically. When I first started trimming, I admit that I was a little bit arrogant and thought such thoughts as, "But it's PeRfEcT just the way it is!!!!! Why would I take out a third of my story in edits???" But like. Now that I've tightened up the story so much, it is focused and really punchy and just... a lot more compelling than what it was.


,,,okay, I am fallig asleep. Good night YWS!

AHHHHHH QUICK UPDATE!!!

Book 2 >>

I officially got past the 30K mark! That is, I trimmed 30K from my story! (Actually, almost 32K now, mwhahahaha.) I want to trim it down to 160K (so about 1500 more words trimmed) before I start rewriting scenes. Which I am so excited about! I shared with my niece some of my rewriting ideas, and she was like, "Oooo this makes sense" so YES. We're just going with it!

Anyway, hopefully tomorrow we'll hit the 160K mark???

Book 1>>

IT IS NOW TRIMMED TO 110K!!!! I am not finished with this pass yet, but it is looking good! I think!

THAT IS ALL.

AHHH QUICK UPDATE BUT!!!

I got Book 1 down to 108K!!! (Found a scene that wasn't working, so I deleted it, hahah. The flow is much better now!)

According to the internet, I still need to cut it down to be 100K... but also, I think I found some places to trim so cross your fingers and toes!

In any case, hopefully this isn't auto reject territory??

In any case, hopefully this isn't auto reject territory??

I don't think you're in auto reject territory!! I don't read fantasy wishlists toooooo closely as a little romance gal myself BUT I do know everyone varies with what their auto reject number is. I think if you're over 120k it's more likely to be an auto reject for word count. 100k or less is safe, but if it's 108k and the agent loves it then they might help you trim it more before it goes out to editors or something!