Birthday Week - Reunion Check In

What usernames might others remember you by?

I was LZPianogirl for a solid year and four months when I first joined.

Why did you join YWS?

I was on my computer a lot during COVID and wanted a place to share my writing. Lo and behold, I found YWS and have been so happy ever since!

Best writing advice that you picked up from YWS along the way?

Well, the best writing advice I learned here has more to do with reviewing. It is that it is more important to be kind than critical; although critiques are important, you have to remember the receiver's feelings and find the good even in a "bad" piece.

Who is a YWSer who made an impact on your YWS experience?

Honestly... everyone. I know that may be a cop-out answer, but it's true; everyone I have ever met on YWS has impacted me and how I interact with the site.

What has been your proudest YWS contribution?

I am very proud of the YWS map and playlist.

What has been your favorite YWS memory?

Well, my newest favorite memory is being the last person to tune in to the 20th-anniversary radio show! Otherwise, it was co-writing two LSS roleplays with the most amazing crews: LSS: The Last Word and An Unexpected Time.

What has been your silliest YWS memory?

I remember one April Fools we had to join a review team or something, but it actually changed our usernames. Mine was changed to "That One Guy." You know, that one guy!

Advice you would have given yourself when you first joined!

Don't be so cringy. Don't be so afraid to join a roleplay or give detailed reviews!

Advice you'd give a new author?

Don't be afraid to share your stuff. Seriously. No matter how bad or cringy you think your stuff is, it doesn't matter; what matters is you sat down and put the effort into making it. No one will make fun of you for it.

Most memorable YWS site-event? (ie. RevMo, NaNo, NaPo, RPMonth, April Fools etc.)

I love NaNo/NovMo, but I have never finished it! However, I love seeing the writing activity on this site during November--it really boosts my spirits.

One of your favorite YWS Literary Works you've read?

I absolutely loved a poem called "a shade of red" by @soundofmind. It was truly the most incredible thing I have ever read. It's currently private, but the fact I still remember the name is a testament to how amazing it was.

What do you hope YWS looks like in another decade?

If anything, I hope the community is as great as it is today, with a mix of old members (don't anyone go disappearing on me) and new ones. Otherwise, I would be perfectly happy if it remains the same.

If you could add a quote to the YWS quote generator what would it be?

I already have four quotes in the quote generator, so I am perfectly content with life.

Check In Questions

1. What usernames might others remember you by?

Oof. Well when you join when you're 12 years old, you go through some growing pains. Pointe2Drama > DramaLlama > SparkOfDoubt > SparkToFlame > LadySpark. The transition from SparkToFlame to LadySpark was so long ago now, probably very few of you remember even that one. I believe I became a mod when I was SparkToFlame, but it was possibly SparkOfDoubt. I really am not sure haha.

2. Why did you join YWS?

TBH... I don't remember. I was sneaking onto the family computer late at night and I was desperate to find a community and a friend group. I have also always loved to tell stories and write. I truly have no idea how I found YWS or why I joined. Suddenly, I was here. That Christmas I got a laptop, and the rest was history.

3. Describe your writing when you first joined!

Exactly what you'd expect from an 12 year old who is naïve, romantic, lonely, and emotional. I also didn't write poetry and it would be a long time before I wrote poetry well.

4. Describe your writing now!

Well, I'd say I'm a lot less emo at least? I have gone through some pretty dark periods in my life and I think my writing has been an outlet and a huge piece of processing the grief in my life. Honestly, it's been a long and winding path and I've experienced loss in a way not many young people have. It took a long time to be okay with that. It took a long time to fall in love and form healthy relationships.

A few months ago, I was tagged in a post, referencing me as someone they thought of as a romantic poetry writer. That honestly took me aback for a second. This person has been on YWS quite awhile, but quite definitely joined during one of my fully off-the-grid periods on YWS. They've only ever been exposed to post Luke post falling in love with Si Peyton.

It was jarring because I had always categorized myself in the melancholy genre. A girl who wrote about grief, pain, loss, anger, and sadness. I have always, from a very young age, felt loss and pain in a way that others perceived as abnormal or "too much". I've had to accept that about myself again and again as I've lived my life and matured. Even here, in a safe, sacred place, I have had to face the consequences of my emotions and the irrational decisions I've made based on how I feel. And reflecting on poetry 2010-2020, that's honestly the cold honest truth. There is a decade of sadness, isolation, confusion, disillusionment.

But the beautiful thing is, the poetic thing is, there is now almost half a decade of poetry that chronicles an identify.

An introspective, thoughtful, reflective, honest 5 years spent looking at that heartache and using it for good, for light, and for better. That took a long time. That was a dark hole. I'm proud of that.

But I think it would be remiss of me to say that YWS didn't play a huge part in that. This was the first community to hold me accountable for my actions and choices. The first to say "hey, that's not okay, we treat people better/we act better here". It taught me so much about the community responsibility I have to the people around me and the individuals I care about. I didn't have a family or upbringing that taught me introspection, thoughtfulness, reflection, or honesty. My upbringing taught me to repress, ignore, move on, and manipulate. Every thing I am, everything I've fought to be, has been in defiance of the home life I had ages 0-18.

I joined YWS when I was 12, almost 13. YWS opened up a world of diversity, kindness, and acceptance I had never experienced in my life.

My writing, my relationships, my life --- reflects that.

5. Best writing advice that you picked up from YWS along the way?

Is there a piece? I had the most incredible mentors. I feel like I am lacking in so many ways in how I contribute to the new generation of YWS poets in comparison to the way the prior generation contributed to me. I look back on reviews, writing pads, private messages, lost-to-time chatbar messages and chatroom messages and I feel so overwhelmed by how much wisdom and writing knowledge was imparted to me. It's kind of stunning that I got to be part of the generation of YWS that was the most active.

Anywho -

I think it was Rosey that first pointed out my love of the word "and". I've worked on that. I think I use and more thoughtfully now.

Lumi taught me how to dig deep into my heart and take out the rawest parts to make beautiful. Almost all of my earliest thoughts, lines, and creations are because of his careful guidance. I would not be half the poet I was without him.

Pengu was always pretty hard on me. Something I resented but now appreciate. Calling out my emo self was needed. It taught me something about the world and separating criticism from self and ego. Humbleness. Important things I now value more than I did at 17.

I remember how my heart would skip a bit when Dream would review my poems. There are some people in life you barely brush up against that change your life. Here's an example.

Honestly, those are the four. Obvs percy and all the old greats from 2012-2017, but those four. They changed my life.

I went back through and found some reviews that changed my life... I honestly encourage any young poet to read the poem/review. I learned a lot just reading them again.

Spoilering to make sure everything is appropriately labeled. 16+ for language/content in the poems themselves. Reviews are clean and relevant!

Spoiler

https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/work/LadySpark/my-medicine-cabinet-full-of-bullets-a-journal-recording-my-unhappiness-132584#c601892

work/LadySpark/i-should-have-been-home-yesterday-edited-126429#c567495

work/LadySpark/icarus-and-his-golden-wings-got-lost-again-125930#c564754

work/LadySpark/you-read-too-many-books-while-i-read-the-pages-of-your-skin-111691#c469160

work/LadySpark/the-memoir-of-contemplative-bedsheets-114269#c488816

also yes, we were harder on writers in those days haha.

6. Who is a YWSer who made an impact on your YWS experience?
I feel like each of these questions is bleeding into each other and at this point I should just write an essay.

It's hard to name them all, and honestly -- so many of them are SO long gone that none of you would remember them. Some of them I only remember by their nicknames and their actual user name is lost to time. But like... Isha??? Percy/Button?? Carbon?

It's kind of funny to think about all of the formative experiences that happened for me on YWS - for better or for worse... haha. Some are better left to rest. At least @Iggy remains out of our group, Hakuna.... ahem. But having a core group of friends that skyped every day?? To a homeschooled kid in rural southern west virginia - it was life changing. Ahmad, Mai, Kells, Paige, Tams, Eli... The fact that we still have our chat fills up my cup (regardless of if it's only active 1-2 times a year). All I can think about is that little girl in that room with that life that she had - and how your friendship, support, and kindness was a lifeline to a better life. Without you, what would there be?? I'm glad I don't have to find out. You will always be tucked in, right next to my heart. I love you all to the tips of my toes.

There are some lost to time. There are some it hurts my heart to know are no longer close. Abby, Omar, Mikko --- y'alls names are the ones I think of. Wishing you well, peace, and all the best things in life always.

7. Who is a writer you've looked up to while on the site (YWS or otherwise)?

Lumi, Rosey, Pengu, Button/Percy, Dream, alliyah, Audy, aley, Lauren, Monsters,

8. What has been your proudest YWS contribution?

Shakespeare Festival. YWStival.

More LadySpark lore - all my articles in resouces from my time on that team. That was my first dip into operational/procedural/educational work and that's all I do now and I can only look to YWS for that.

The YWS Hunger Games!!! We only did that once and honestly that was a toughy. Took so much coordination!

The Orchard <3

I loved (love!!!) planning events for this community.

9. What has been your favorite YWS memory?

Ahh idk. All of it.

10. What has been your silliest YWS memory?

The hours on end we spent in that chatroom. What did we even talk about, day after day? I'm not sure - but I miss it.

11. Were you ever involved in any of the YWS rivalries... what team? (SPEW, Monkey vs Dragons, Unclassified vs Classified, NanaWars, Rose Takeover, Duolingo Takeover, Veggie Takeover)

Of course I was. But my affiliations are also lost to time (aka I don't remember).

12. Advice you would have given yourself when you first joined!

Slow down. Soak it in. Appreciate it now and reflect on it later. It's all a learning opportunity. This community is special. Don't waste it. Be humble, be curious, be kind.

13. Advice you'd give a new author?

eh, I don't know. I'm new too. I just write poetry a few times a year. I'm not an expert. Write what you feel, be authentic. Take care of yourself.

14. Prediction for your writing 10 years from now!

I'll probably just keep writing about human feelings and experiences. Mine, or ones I see. I don't think my writing will really change, but I think my writing subjects will grow as I do... As they've always done.

15. Most memorable YWS site-event? (ie. RevMo, NaNo, NaPo, RPMonth, April Fools etc.)
All the ones I mentioned above. I loved planning YWS events. We did so many. Does anyone remember the YWS carnival? Dr. Suess week??? Probably not...

16. One of your favorite YWS Literary Works you've read?
I tried to find one and I started crying.

17. One of your favorite YWS Literary Works you've posted?

six years, gone

i stopped listening to waylon jennings after you left

Some really old ones... you read too many books while i read the pages of your skin

She Never Drank Tea
^^this one was later published!

18. What do you hope YWS looks like in another decade?
Continuing to foster the new generation of writers. Be a safe space for them, be a constructive space for them, be an accountable space for them.

19. If you could add a quote to the YWS quote generator what would it be?
Omg I'm not sure. I do love to see the quotes from different YWSers. Fills up my heart that you all think of each other when the other one is not around.

20. Anything else you'd like to share about your writing, life, or YWS memories?
Lord, I feel like I've shared enough.

Staying connected to the place I grew up is sometimes hard. Often, I feel like some pieces of my past, of my youth, hangs on to me even though I'm an adult now. It's hard to be 27 year old Peyton when she is surrounded by ghosts of previous versions of herself. But at the same time, it's such a grounding, fulfilling experience. I love that I can keep coming back here and see that growth. I love this place. I hold this place is the highest esteem. This is home and has always been.


Sometimes it's sad to be here. Almost all the people I originally learned from and connected with are gone. It hurts, those that are lost to time. Even rosey and lumi eventually slipped through my grasp. Holding onto the Hakuna group has been a herculean effort of all of us messaging into the void after months of silence.

That's how it works, growing up.

All I can hope for all of you reading this is that you look back on your time on YWS with the same joy. I hope you'll be able to hold onto the few and carry them into all phases of your life. It matters. It counts.

I can't help but think about my new loves, my new darlings I've connected with. gem, quilly -- you two specifically. I love you both and think of you often.

i think that's enough. i love this place. it means a lot to me.

stay golden.