I Am Totally a Real-Life Wizard (Not Clickbait, I Swear!)

"Amy?" Valeri huffed a gentle laugh. "Seems like you got through to her after all. Proud of you, Ven. Alright, I'll see if the weapons and I can get Cody out of here. Best case, we'll meet you outside in ten minutes. Worst case... well. You might need to do another prison break." Valeri hung up, then turned towards the weapons. "Okay, we got this."

Dawn bobbed up in the air. "Right! What do you want me to do?"

Dusk hummed thoughtfully. "We should clear out the crowd. Cause some chaos, maybe."

Dawn vibrated. "I can do that! Non-violently clearing everyone out."

Dusk emitted a low-pitched hum. Soon, their arrows zoomed from various random openings before forming a dizzying circle around them. "Let's do this!"

"Great." Valeri gave them a determined look. "Pretending like there's a fire would probably work."

"If I could salute, I would!" Waves of yellow and orange flowed down Dawn's blade.

"Indigo, time to act like a sprinkler." One of Dusk's arrows spouted some water in acknowledgement.

Dusk floated up the ceiling. "FIRE! There's a fire!"

Some of the members of the audience gasped. "Where?"

Dawn floated near Valeri. "Oh, right. That part."

"On the balcony!" Dawn yelped. They floated to the balcony and tried their best to reflect orange light around the room.

A couple of people lowered their phones and looked around. "I don't see any smoke..."

"Orchid!" Dusk whispered. An arrow quickly zipped around the room, manipulating light until the ceiling was covered in shadow. While it didn't quite look like smoke, people did start to chatter nervously.

Then Dawn started imitating a fire alarm. "EEEERT, EEEERT, EEEERRRRTTT!" Valeri winced, but it was certainly effective... People started scrambling around, confused but aiming for the doors nevertheless.

Joe froze. "Hey! Where are you going?"

"There's a fire!"

Cody took that as their chance to step back, covered in jello with a fresh bruise across his eye. "What?"

"Fire!" repeated another fleeing guest.

Joe growled. "No, no, no. This can't be happening." He turned on Cody again. "Ugh, this must be your fault. You've completely ruined my wedding!"

Behind Joe, Valeri tried to catch Cody's eye. She gestured towards the door, mouthing, "Vendetta has Khalil!" Cody frowned for a moment, and Valeri mouthed the words again. Their eyes widened and he gave a small nod. "Fine then, Joe, I'll get out of your hair." Cody started to back towards the door.

Joe squawked. “Uh, no! Not until you tell me what you did with Khalil!”

Cody groaned. “I already told you! We didn’t do anything to xem! You’re the one who kidnapped him.”

"Well, you obviously kidnapped him back." Joe rolled his eyes.

Cody let out an exasperated sigh. "We're getting nowhere with this." He took a few more steps towards the door.

Joe yelled in frustration. “Fine! But believe me, Malacoda, I will get my revenge.”

“Okay, discount Disney villain.” Dusk snickered.

Joe glared at Dusk. "You're very mistaken, I'm afraid. Malacoda's the real villain here, and as soon as he steps outside, I bet there'll be crowds of people waiting to assault him." The sketchy wizard folded his arms. "So, Malacoda, you want to leave? Fine. But there'll be no peace for you out there... And just you wait for our next confrontation."

Cody shrugged. "At least I won't have to deal with the guilt of faking a whole battle and giving a love potion to someone against their will." And with that, they strode out the doors of the hotel.

Meanwhile, back with Vendetta, things were not so simple.

Getting Khalil was the easy part. Joe was too distracted to notice as they had gently approached Khalil and sort of guided him away, like someone does an elderly relative.

But now, Khalil was switching between yelling about Joe to sobbing about him.

“Wormy, any idea how long this is going to last?” Vendetta chewed on a nail.

Khalil wailed. “Josephinzo! Where are you, my husband?”

Valeri was waiting for Cody on the steps outside the hotel. They quickly handed him a jacket they'd stolen borrowed from one of the wedding guests and whispered, "Pull the hood over your face."

As Cody pulled the jacket on, Valeri dialed Vendetta's number.

Vendetta answered the phone, cringing as Khalil’s voice became painfully shrill. “Hi, this is me dying. How can I help you?”

“Is that Josephinzo on the phone with you?” Khalil stopped wailing, staring down Vendetta with wide, hopeful eyes.

Vendetta slowly turned away. “Please tell me everything’s okay.”

"I mean, we got Cody out of the building... We should get him to a less crowded place, though. How are things going on your end?"

Dawn and Dusk hovered next to Valeri, eavesdropping on the phone call.