Corrupt a Wish

Granted. Your grandparents were hit by a drunk driver instead, just as they were starting to contemplate a divorce. They are now currently separated only via conscious states. One is in an extensive coma, and the other is a vegetable.

I wish I won a scholarship.

you did. but i burnt it to ashes before they had it on file and you no longer have one.

*I wish I was a vamprie*

granted, but you're one of the bitter ones who refuse to make another because its not what you really wanted for yourself



*I wish Pen was real*

Granted, but now you're not.
*WHAT?!*

I wish I knew what the heck alice was talking about!

granted but now you're even more confused that you were before. I pity you, and you should pity me becuase I actually know her in real life.

I wish I didn't always know waht she was tlaking about.

Granted, but now you're braindead and depend on people feeding you through a tube in your veggie state.

I wish I would just go to bed!

granted but you never wake up.

I wish people would stop tlaking about sleep, now i'm tireder.

Granted, but now nobody talks about sleep, and sleep turns into a taboo and you're not allowed sleep even though you're absolutely exhausted. That helped, eh?

I wish the Easter holidays weren't over tomorrow

Granted but it means you have to have another YEAR at school....


I wish I could go back to laying in the park without a care in the world...

granted but then it starts to rain...and then the rain turns to hail. ouch, that had to hurt.


I wish there was something good to eat here.

Granted. There are so many good things to eat that you over eat, and eat, and eat, and eat. Then you pop. Ew.

I wish I would hurry and finish reading The Historian.

granted, but you read it too fast and didn't understand any of it, so then you had to reread it, and becuase it was a library book you got a fine for having it too long.


I wish I had chocolate.

Granted thusly:
You are given a lifetime supply of chocolate which, because it's what you wanted, you instantly gorge on. This results in a severe weight problem which leaves you emotionally crippled, not to mention unhealthy. So you attempt to lose the weight and fail, and sink deeper into the depression. Suddenly, life has become a hellish vision of pure devestation. And all because you wanted some chocolate!

I wish young, rich Irish people stopped trying to be American

Granted: Young, rich, American people try being Irish. It's even more annoying.

I wish I had more time to read.

granted but then you stop having any type of life and all your friends are sick of your "book talk". Also your brain grows from all the info you are obsorbing and you explode.

*I wish my dad would stop coming home unexpectidly.*