Two Crows Watch from the Gallows Tree (cont'd)

(Perfect timing, Albus!!)

(And there's been no real mention of Adree in my recollection. Just a quick reference to the House being quite new.)

"Well, he's a great Lord now, right? But do you know where he came from?" Tomhas settled himself against the stairs. "Lord Adree came to the Northern Realm a slave, Ky. He worked under King Harold's father from the time he was sixteen years old, and when he was twenty he saved Harold's life. The old King, Reynard, had him promoted immediately to his chief advisor, then to Lord when Adree was thirty. He created a House all for this man, this former slave, and carved out a piece of the Realm that belonged to the Pyrishes before they Fell. Lord Adree came from nothing, Ky. He still comes from nothing. But he proved that he has as much political savvy as the next man and put it to good use." Tomhas hesitated, trying to figure out if he was saying this concisely enough. "My point is, station doesn't make us any better or worse than the rest of humanity. We all grew out of our mothers' wombs, we all return to the ground eventually. We're all flesh and blood and foolhardiness, and no matter if you're a Lord or a slave, you'll always be human."

(ah, okay, perfect!)

"I didn't realize that," Ky murmured. She supposed she should have known that -- but Aleth had had her memorizing minute details about the Ashes and the Loquiturs and the Barrasters and the Tarrs, and there hadn't been much time for her to study the rest of the Houses.

She was silent for a long, long moment. Somehow, that made something click in her brain. She herself wasn't even sixteen yet. And she couldn't imagine ever being a Lord, but, maybe there was still hope for her after all. She felt like she was so far behind where she should have been by now -- wasting time as Aleth's little bitch rather than investing in her own future.

But, then, even that had left her with valuable skills that might serve her in the future. She was smart. And literate. And well-spoken. What might she do, if she made the right choices now? If she let herself dream again.

"You think it's not too late for me?" she asked at last, voice quiet. "That I might have time to make something of myself yet, even though I'm already so old?"

She almost caught the irony in that statement. Objectively, she was aware that fifteen wasn't that old. But it felt like she was an old maid, given the fact that she didn't have any of her own accomplishments yet. She barely even knew herself at this point -- much less have goals or plans for the future. She never thought she'd get out from under Aleth's thumb. And now that she was, she didn't know what to do with herself.

Tomhas chuckled at that, then caught himself. "My dear girl," he began, "You're not old at all. You've got your whole life ahead of you, and you can do whatever you damn well please with it. My family and I will help you along, if you like, but the world is your oyster now. You can say yes or no to anybody you please, and you can read all the books or go on sailing voyages or join the tribes in the Far North. The future is yours for the taking, Ky."

Ky grinned, perking up. The thought was exhilarating. That there was actually hope for the future. The chance of finding her happily ever after.

"Then maybe I should start thinking about what I want to do," she said eagerly. Her mood had changed in an instant. She hadn't allowed herself to get her hopes up like this ever since she'd been taken. But now all bets were off. If Loquitur thought she could do whatever she wanted, then she could. And that was that. "I never thought I'd get away from Aleth, ever. But -- but -- if he stays with Lord Ash forever then maybe I can stay a step ahead of him. And... and maybe it'll all be okay."

It seemed too good to be true.

"And there are so many things I could do, if I'm allowed to," she continued, mind racing with possibilities. "I used to have so many ideas back when I thought I was allowed to have a future. And... and now... I'm allowed to have one again, aren't I?"

She looked up at him with an eager grin.

"You don't need my permission," Tomhas reminded her. "I've got no power over you. Any ideas you have I'll do my best to help with, but that's all I'm here for. You're your own person remember?" He was delighted at this change in tone and her sudden excitement. It was exactly what he wanted from Ky: for her to begin feeling safe enough to express herself. For her to start exploring her prospects, her interests. He couldn't wait for his own children to start doing this, too, though Lyra seemed content to hole up and read for hours on end at the moment.

"Yes, sir!" she said, stiil grinning.

She thought back to all her aspirations from when she was a child. She liked remembering this side of herself. It was refreshing to have autonomy again. She'd never settled on a chosen career path -- she'd been so young when she'd been taken -- but she'd had so many grand plans. Blacksmith. Apothecary. Veterinarian. Horse trainer. Owner of her own farm.

"Papa used to say the same thing," she said, nodding eagerly. She started rambling before she could stop herself. "The only thing he ever said was stupid was when I briefly wanted to be a pirate -- but I don't even want that anymore... And... He said it'd be hard for me to be a mother, even though I've always wanted kids, because I don't want a husband. But... if the Ladies Barraster can make it work, maybe I could, too!"

She looked at him eagerly. Then caught herself. She was acting like an idiot.

"Sorry," she said, forcing herself to calm down a bit, even though she couldn't fully erase the smile on her lips. "I'll stop being obnoxious... but... I'll definitely be thinking about this more!"

"You're not obnoxious." Tomhas smiled. "Keep at it, make a list! Even head into the village for ideas, if you like. I'll arrange an escort. But we leave for Brant Keep in five days."

"Yes, sir!" She was buzzing with enthusiasm, delighted he was egging her on. "Thank you, sir! This is... so much better."

"I'm glad." Tomhas rose. "You're alright now? Feeling up to raiding the kitchen for some biscuits?" He was feeling peckish himself. If she said no, he'd probably go get something to eat on his own and then speak to Anneke and General Wai about preparations for travel.

“Yes, sir!” Ky popped to her feet, then glanced around, suddenly remembering that they were standing in the middle of a flight of stairs. “Where… were we going, before… all that?”

"Oh." Tomhas looked back up the stairs. "I was going to demonstrate the point I made with Lord Adree by showing you some of the things I brought back with me from my banishment. Gaius and I worked on his wife's farm for a few years before we became Lords. It's nothing special, just a few trinkets and such."

“Oh.” She supposed that made sense. And was a solid plan. She appreciated the effort he was putting into helping her overcome her inferiority complex. But it gave her pause, trying to imagine Loquitur on a farm. He was certainly as kind and laid back as most of her friends had been when she was in a dark town. She could see him fitting in there. But it was still a little hard to reconcile the Lord Loquitur she knew with the thought of him just working on a farm, same as her. “Did… you always know you were going to be a Lord one day? Or did… you think you’d be banished forever?”

"Well, I was a bastard. I still am. Lord Ash wasn't my father; Brogan Loquitur was. I'd always assumed he had other children so when I was banished I figured that was it for me." He sighed. "I knew Gaius would take care of me if he ever took Michael's place as Lord but I never hoped for the title myself. It was quite a shock when old Brogan was robbed and killed by brigands."

Ky blinked. She was aware that he wasn’t an Ash — his name itself was a testament to that. But even though he grew up with the Ashes, she couldn’t imagine his father not being part of his life. Not quite a proper co-parenting arrangement, but at least some level of civility between a father and his own son. “You didn’t know your father?”

"Nope, but I heard plenty about him. Let's go get some biscuits." Tomhas strode back down the stairs. He had met him one time in all and only spoken briefly. It hadn't been a particularly civil conversation. In addition to that, he'd been repeatedly told--almost from birth, it seemed--what his father had done to his mother and why that made him the most unnatural monstrosity in the world. Michael had told him Lord Septimus had threatened to hang Lady Gwynna while she was still pregnant for being unfaithful. Gaius had told Tomhas the truth later--Septimus had wanted to smother Tomhas once he was born and put Gwynna in prison. None of that came to pass, obviously, but thinking about it and the sort of man his real father was wasn't comforting.