"I love it. Sitting rooms ought to be every room. Well, sitting rooms, bedrooms, and kitchens. We can do away with the rest." All Tomhas really wanted right now was to curl up under a thousand blankets with Anneke and sleep the day away, but he had to make arrangements to begin travelling, and he had to talk to Ky about pride and Lordship. "But that's beside the point. Why do you think you're not as good as any Lord?"
"The Imperial need for control is so desperate because it is so unnatural. Tyranny requires constant effort. It breaks, it leaks. Authority is brittle. Oppression is the mask of fear. Remember that." -Karis Nemik
“Oh, I, um, ah—” Ky stammered, startled by the question. She shouldn’t have said what she had. This felt like a trick question. Although the rational part of her brain knew that Loquitur would never try to trap her. “I know I’m not,” she reiterated, body tense. She hoped she hadn’t offended him. “I’m just… a farmer's daughter… a no one… we’re a dime a dozen.” She offered a smile, trying to make light of it and turn it into a joke, but it was forced. “Nothing special about that.”
"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus "From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf "A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni [they/he]
(Sympathy: Strong Trauma: Heavy Tomhas is forcibly removed from Caracal Keep)
"Why are Lords special?" Tomhas asked her, clasping his hands behind his back as he walked. He liked the way his cloak billowed behind him and flapped wind against his arms. "Couldn't we be a dime a dozen too?"
"The Imperial need for control is so desperate because it is so unnatural. Tyranny requires constant effort. It breaks, it leaks. Authority is brittle. Oppression is the mask of fear. Remember that." -Karis Nemik
“Oh… um…” She’d never thought about it before. Lords just were important; she didn’t know why. “I mean… you’ve got a lot of power. And responsibility. And influence… and money… and you decide… well, everything.” She felt very small, but couldn’t quite seem to force herself to square her shoulders. She wasn’t acting on behalf of Aleth now. She was representing herself — and herself was anxious. “How much taxes are… who gets promoted… who gets kill-executed!” It wouldn’t do for her to act like they were bloodthirsty killers. “Just… everything. Everyone would notice if you weren’t there.”
She forced herself to take a deep breath, thinking it through.
“When I went away, it only hurt my Papa,” she continued quietly. “And that was only because he was too proud to ask for help from our friends… at this point, nothing would change if I didn’t exist at all. Not important.
"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus "From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf "A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni [they/he]
"But could you be a Lord, if you'd been brought up to be one? If someone stole you away from your father as a baby and taught you the ways of a noble? Could I be a farmer if I'd been stolen away and given to some lovely wheat harvester?"
"The Imperial need for control is so desperate because it is so unnatural. Tyranny requires constant effort. It breaks, it leaks. Authority is brittle. Oppression is the mask of fear. Remember that." -Karis Nemik
“I…” She blinked at him. How was she even supposed to answer that? “No… I mean… no… I mean…” Her brain was short-circuiting. “I mean, I suppose you could be a farmer, if you wanted. But you’re too good for that. And I… I’m not good enough to be a Lord… I’m not smart enough… and… not good enough.” That was the crux of the matter: she wasn’t good enough. And she never would be. “I don’t even know how to be in charge of myself, much less anyone else.”
"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus "From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf "A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni [they/he]
"But you could be taught to be in charge of yourself, no? I daresay that's even easier than learning how to till a field and sow it when the season is right." Tomhas started up a set of steps. "I bet King Harold would be a good blacksmith. What do you think?"
"The Imperial need for control is so desperate because it is so unnatural. Tyranny requires constant effort. It breaks, it leaks. Authority is brittle. Oppression is the mask of fear. Remember that." -Karis Nemik
She couldn’t think of a valid reason why the king couldn't anything he wished. And she certainly wasn’t going say he couldn’t. But it still seemed improper.
“I… that’s not the way of things,” Ky said at last. “If the king didn’t king, then someone else would have to do it. And no one else can do it… except his heir, I guess. I…I don’t know. It doesn’t seem right.”
"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus "From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf "A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni [they/he]
"But why? Your father, from what I hear of him, sounds like he'd run the Realm better than any king I know of. And King Harold's a great man." He glanced over his shoulder at her. "Do you think Ithicus Tarr is superior to you?"
"The Imperial need for control is so desperate because it is so unnatural. Tyranny requires constant effort. It breaks, it leaks. Authority is brittle. Oppression is the mask of fear. Remember that." -Karis Nemik
Ky’s legs locked of their own accord, leaving her frozen in place as she started at Loquitur in a horrified silence. She couldn’t believe he was going there. How was she even supposed to compare herself to a person like Tarr?
“I-I mean— yes. Of course.” She furrowed her brow, nodding once. It sent a pang of panic through her to realize that this was even making her hesitate. “It’d be prideful for me to think otherwise. He’s… a Lord.”
A very, very bad Lord who she despised immensely. But she couldn’t admit that.
“I…” She was unsettled with the sudden realization that she held Tarr in such contempt that she wasn’t sure what the right answer was. But, then, that wasn’t true. She did know what the right answer was. She shook her head slightly, trying to clear it from the delusion that she was even in the same league as a Lord. “Yes… yes. Lord Tarr is… superior… to me…” It put a bad taste in her mouth. “And it’s sheer haughtiness that I even hesitated, I’m sorry. It’s improper. He’s a Lord. Of course he’s superior.”
"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus "From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf "A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni [they/he]
Tomhas let out a sharp breath. "He's a rapist," he said, struggling to keep his voice neutral. "And he tortures animals. Put aside his station for a minute. If you didn't know he was a Lord, would you say he's superior to you? Hell, even if you did know, which you do, would you really say a rapist is superior to you?"
"The Imperial need for control is so desperate because it is so unnatural. Tyranny requires constant effort. It breaks, it leaks. Authority is brittle. Oppression is the mask of fear. Remember that." -Karis Nemik
“I…I…I don’t like him,” she admitted, a bit lamely. “But if I go and start thinking I’m better than Lords I don’t like, what’s to stop me from carrying that energy to all of them?” She wasn’t sure why she was saying ‘them’ as if one wasn’t standing before her now. “I… I need to remember my place. He always says it’s safest to know your place — and stay in it.”
And Aleth would know. He played with fire and always came out on top.
“I-I don’t want to make anyone angry.” Ky blinked rapidly, trying to get her emotions under control. “I only get hurt when I make people angry and I don’t want to earn the disfavor of anyone who can… hurt me…. I’m trying to learn how to not deserve it. I’m trying so hard.” She wiped at her eyes, trying to quell the tears before they made it to her cheeks. “I promise I am. I’m trying. I want to be good, I’m just so… so bad at it. I’m sorry. I-I’ll do better. I’m sorry. I’ll learn how to be better. I’m sorry.”
"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus "From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf "A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni [they/he]
"Ky." Tomhas sat down on the step so he was level with her. "Hey. You're fine. You're doing fine." He wanted desperately to hug her to him like he would his own daughter, to calm her and comfort her until she felt safe again, but he wasn't sure how she would react and so he sat there, wringing his hands. "You never deserved to be hurt in the first place. Never. And no one can hurt you now. They'd have to go through me."
"The Imperial need for control is so desperate because it is so unnatural. Tyranny requires constant effort. It breaks, it leaks. Authority is brittle. Oppression is the mask of fear. Remember that." -Karis Nemik
Ky darted forward on an impulse, going for a hug, but she caught herself at the last moment and stopped short. She needed to remember her place. She couldn’t abuse his kindness.
“Sorry,” she choked, scrubbing her face, still standing a bit too close than was polite. “You’re very kind.” Her body was trembling harder than she knew how to control. “I’m sorry.”
"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus "From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf "A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni [they/he]
Tomhas reached out hesitantly, scooting forward until he could wrap his arms around her, then pulled her close. He sat there for a moment, very aware of his own breathing and the way he was trembling--gods, he was shaking so badly--and was silent for once. He exhaled very slowly, trying to still himself.
"The Imperial need for control is so desperate because it is so unnatural. Tyranny requires constant effort. It breaks, it leaks. Authority is brittle. Oppression is the mask of fear. Remember that." -Karis Nemik
