The Fateful Heart 2

It took a few seconds for James's words to sink in. He watched her die. So, a dream. A bad dream. A nightmare. He was okay—not hurt.

"It's okay, I'm here now," Evaline said as she lightly pulled his shoulders in for another hug, perhaps out of instinct at this point. "It's just a bad dream. It's okay."

She should have been feeling deep empathy for James, especially since he had gone through a whirlwind of emotions these past several hours. But given his past experiences with the nightmares he had told her, his words made her think.

"The dream," she said slowly, voice steady, not letting go of the hug quite yet since she wasn't ready to meet his eyes. "Was it with the thieves? The gunman?"

James tensed up like he was trying to make himself smaller than he was, but he let himself be hugged. He was hoping it would ground him, but it didn’t.

“One of them shot you,” he said, swallowing back tears. “You bled out before I could do anything. I was too late.”

Evaline could feel James tense up, and that only made her tense up some more, even through this hug that was supposed to help him feel better. Or maybe make her feel better? She wasn't sure at this point, because now, it only seemed like a strange way to not face his sad, sobbing self when he admitted he had watched her bleed out.

But it didn't make sense. That didn't happen. Was it just a big coincidence? If so, it seemed too much of a coincidence that he dreamed of her getting shot when she did get shot in another timeline that ceased to exist.

"Did I get shot..." she began slowly, deliberately choosing her words carefully, "...on my shoulder?"

“Yes,” he said through sniffles.

It wasn't two isolated incidents. His dream was related to what actually happened—or rather, what could have happened if she didn't undo it.

It had been a long time since this topic came up, but it seemed that all three times she did jump back in time, James dreamed of it. This time was different though; he dreamed of what could have happened.

She knew some people's time power specialty were to peer into other timelines, but she didn't quite know how it worked. This was Oliver's specialty, but she never did get to find out how it worked since she only met him when they were both young, and she didn't use her time powers often at that time. He did somehow manage to send her letters after she left, and although she had publicly told her superiors to burn the letters because it related to him complaining about their marriage that never happened, it was a lie.

He only wrote to her to tell her of the other timelines. To tell her of what could have happened if she didn't make the choices she made. He told her what she could have became, and what she still could become.

It was hard to accept the idea that fate somehow seemed to throw her in Nye and gave her a more likeable Oliver replacement, but she didn't want to think about that right now, or ever, really.

Evaline slowly pulled away, her head spinning from her thoughts. She suddenly felt nervous, even if dulled by the headache and the exhaustion.

She tried to meet James's sad eyes, and right away she knew she didn't want to dance around the truth. For both of their sakes.

"I'm sorry you saw that," she said weakly. "I did get shot. But I undid it seconds after it happened, and I'm perfectly fine. It's okay."

She kneeled beside him, fully letting go and setting her hands on top of her knees, balling them up.

"I didn't get that far. I don't know how you're able to see this alternate timeline, but it never happened, not even for me. It's not real. It's just a bad nightmare."

James should've felt relieved, but all he felt was deflated. It was a comfort to hear her assurance that it was only a dream, but the fact that he had the dream at all made him worry, and wonder. He never had dreams like this before. He used to think it was a side-effect of Evaline's powers, but it started to dawn on him that this probably wasn't how it always was. Did the thieves have dreams about what did or didn't happen? Did Butch and Reed see into alternate timelines in their sleep? Those were questions he would never know the answer to, but did anyone who'd ever been affected by her powers in the past experience this?

She said she didn't know how he was able to see it. It never happened. It was just him. Otherwise, she would've explained it to him.

Right?

His tears started to subside as a different kind of worry and confusion settled in.

He looked up at Evaline, and at her shoulder. She was right that there was no wound. She was alive. She'd undone it before she had a chance to die.

But that begged the question.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he whispered. "I thought you said you would tell me the next time you used your power."

Evaline kept her eyes on James, worry seeping into her own expression as well. It wasn't like she was the best at comforting others, but she would rather continue comforting him about this traumatic dream than talk about this.

"What was I supposed to say?" she said quietly. "You got hurt, and we've been starving all week. Telling you what didn't happen was the last thing you needed to hear."

James felt his heart sink, and he looked down at the ground, wearied.

"I can understand that," he said slowly. He would've been inclined to do the same.

"I just... wish I would've heard it first from you. Instead of... this."

Evaline felt terrible. She did.

She understood why James wished for that. She'd want to be warned, too.

"I'm sorry," she said, and she meant it. "I didn't know you'd get the dreams still, and I don't even know why you'd..."

She sighed, shaking her head and closing her eyes for a second to reframe her tired thoughts.

"It only lasted a few seconds. I really was—and am—okay. I didn't..."

Die.

And she had no plans to, either.

"I'll tell you next time," she said softly. "I don't know how or why this is happening to you, but... I can understand why you'd want to know."

James nodded.

"Thank you," he said, sighing as he put his hands on his knees, readying to get to his feet. It looked like the sandstorm was over, but the sun had gone down. He didn't know how long he'd been out, but he had a feeling Evaline was probably longing to get some rest herself.

"I don't know why it's happening either, but... I guess this is my life now. I don't know."

He shook his head and grunted as he pushed himself to his feet.

"But thank you for keeping watch when I fell asleep. If you'd like to turn in soon, you can. I should be up for a while, now."

Evaline watched as James got up and shook himself off, but she still remained kneeling on the ground, not sure how to react. She figured that this was a normal response for James, but not a normal response post-traumatic-dream James. It made her wonder if he was holding back some more because he didn't want to fall into the cycle of pity and sadness again.

She glanced back behind her at the open night sky, then slowly stood up and leaned against the cavern wall, not wanting to sit right away in fear that she would get tired and take him up on his offer to sleep.

"Can I stay up a little longer with you?" she asked quietly, trying not to sound tired.

James took in a deep breath and looked over at her. She looked weary - but they both were from not eating.

"If you want," he said lowly.

Evaline gave one quick nod, but it was mostly for herself. James had the benefit of taking a nap, but her mind was still a thick, hazy fog. It especially didn't help knowing that James still had those dreams, and he somehow had the ability to see what could go on in the erased timeline.

She wanted to say something—anything—to fill the silence and make him feel better again.

"I can't imagine how traumatic that dream must have been for you," she began, translating her thoughts into words. "It didn't happen, but it's okay to feel sad about it."

Their conversation before he'd fallen asleep started coming back to him in bits and pieces. He wasn't sure he could remember all of it, but... he remembered the hug.

He told her about Carter, at least, partially. He told her about how he'd run away from home.

Mixed feelings surrounded his new reality of having someone else know besides himself and the people involved. It was a relief, but at the same time, he wasn't used to being... understood. He wasn't used to someone empathizing with him like this. With their words. He'd always thought it was something he wanted - and he did - but now that it was really happening, and he was awake enough to actually process it, he didn't know what to do with himself.

He looked from Evaline, out of the cave, then back to Evaline. Stiffly, he walked over to her and stood beside her, leaning against the cave wall beside her.

"I think... now that the um," he paused. "Rush of initial emotions is subsiding... I don't know. I think I've felt so many things today I'm just kind of shutting down."

He laughed, weakly.

"I'm sure if I thought about it in detail again, it might all come back. But right now I'm not sure I want to."

He glanced over at her.

"I'd rather enjoy the relief of knowing you're here and okay than feel the pain of losing you again."

Evaline listened to James as he talked, and as suspected, she knew that he was hiding more than he was letting on. Even through the hazy fog of her mind, she was glad that he could open up to her now, even though they were not at their best of states.

She could understand how overwhelmed he must feel about tonight. She was beginning to feel it, too.

He then turned to her and said some soft-words that, at the back of her mind, held a deeper context than she cared to admit. But it only barely registered.

"And I'm glad to be here. With you. Here. On Nye. Alive," she wearily said back.

She felt a small incoming grimace that was easier to repress than allow because it seemed that she somehow managed to smash several different thoughts into one string of words.

"I just wish you didn't have those dreams," she added, deciding to change the subject.