The Fateful Heart

James didn't even try to fight it. He simply passed the baton back to her in a quiet, almost defeated voice. Maybe he wasn't ready to share yet.

That was okay. Unlike her, he didn't need to share anything. It was easier to share personal things about herself if he was playing alongside with her, and for now, she'll take the small victories she already won tonight.

It was her turn.

She sighed, closing her eyes for a few moments before opening them back up to the stars again. She didn't need that much time to think this one though.

"Okay," she breathed out, mentally bringing her walls down again. "My memory power works in three ways. One, I relive people's memories by neural pathways. Two, I go back in time. Three, I set a planar connection with the person, like a dream."

She paused. "One of them is false. Which one is it?"

James already knew one of the answers to be true from experience. He didn't know the term neural pathways, but it didn't feel like Evaline was lying based on a change of terms and definitions.

As for the other two, he didn't really know.

He didn't know that traveling through time was possible, and he didn't even know what a planar connection was. Was that like a shared dream?

He knew Evaline's world was a lot different, so he couldn't really rule out either as impossible. He would just have to blindly guess.

"The planar connection," he said. He was starting to sound as tired as he felt. His voice was getting deeper, and just a little hoarse.

"That's the lie."

Evaline took a deep breath. "Yes," she said. "That's the lie."

This game was starting to feel heavy, like a thick blanket of dread trapped on top of her. It was hard to believe that they were competitive not too long ago.

"So you can go back in time," he concluded quietly.

"How does that work?"

Evaline carefully thought through her words. She wanted to unpeel the truth one tiny layer at a time, and she wanted it to be on her own pace. James probably suspected there was more to her power than she was letting on, but for all he knew, it could have just been memory "magic."

"It only happens when there are strong feelings involved. It can be any strong feeling." She paused. "When a person shows me a memory, it's like I'm brought back in time to that exact moment. It's like I am that person, reliving it in that time. It's time travel, in a way."

James hummed.

"So it's not literal?"

"No, it's literal too," Evaline said.

It was the perfect leeway to her next set of statements.

"Okay, that's two questions, and it's still my turn."

She dove right into it, not wasting any time.

"I can change the future. I feel older than I really am. I like keeping track of time."

James felt like he was lying in a river, drifting downstream.

He didn't know the answer, but he didn't want to go again.

He tried remembering what he already learned about Evaline.

She thought about the future a lot. Keeping track of time was a part of that. But from all he was learning about her, it didn't seem like something she liked to do. If he was feeling bold and presumptuous, he would even dare to say that Evaline didn't actually like her powers.

Maybe she could change the future. If she could travel back in time, that made sense. If you could go back to the past, literally, the future would change.

And if she could do that, it would make sense why she might feel like... an old soul.

How far back in time had she traveled?

He didn't know if he'd be able to ask that question. He didn't know that he deserved to. He'd only known her about a week. That was only a second's worth of the entirety of her life.

"You don't like keeping track of time," he said, not even bothering to word it differently.

Part of her wanted James to be wrong so the spotlight would be back on him, but part of her wanted him to guess right just so she can get this over with.

At last—

"You're right," she said softly. "I now avoid keeping track of time."

James was quiet, and for once, he couldn't think of any questions to ask. He didn't look at her, but he felt like he could hear something in her voice, like this whole game was building up to something. Something that she wanted to say, but hadn't found the courage to. Or something she needed him to draw out.

He just didn't know what to say.

He thought about getting up. Going up to the fire. Calling it quits and having them go to sleep. He thought about suggesting they end the whole game right here.

"... You can go again," he said. "I don't have any questions."

He would just listen.

Evaline was starting to feel tense, feeling the anxiety start to seep into her skin, her blood, her bones. The stars no longer eased her mind. The vastness of the sky was starting to make her dizzy.

She rolled over so she was on her side with her back facing James, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath so she could regain focus. Maybe it would be easier if he wouldn't be able to see her face. When she opened her eyes again, she could see the dwindling fire of their campsite, still cackling a small distance away.

"Okay then," she said quietly, trying to hide the shakiness of her voice. "Let's do one last round."

She paused for a long time before quietly starting up again.

"I have seen a friend's death. I have seen my own death. I have seen your death."

A chill pierced through to his bones, and James felt his heart skip a beat.

His eyes lost focus as he faced the sky above them, and his hands unclasped from each other on his stomach. He slid them to his sides and sat up beside her, looking down at the back of her head.

James didn't want to guess anymore.

Something happened. She wouldn't joke about him dying. She wouldn't just say that for no reason.

He sat with one arm propping him up, and his fingers dug into the earth, gripping it tightly. He swallowed down the tension in his throat and his brows knitted together.

"Evaline..."

Would she tell him? Was she still determined to abide by the stupid rules of the game?

His voice wavered.

"What happened?"

Evaline was supposed to open her heart. That was supposed to make her feel better, right? She confessed a revelation that she didn't have to keep a secret anymore. It was supposed to feel like a burden was off her chest.

So why did she feel worse?

She felt her chest tighten in panic, almost like her body was turning on her flight-or-fight mode. She had to take moment to push those feelings down, forcing the truth to come out before she allowed her body to swallow her whole.

"Butch caught up to us," she said in a wavering voice, realizing that she had pained her hands by forcefully balling them up as the memories of his violence flashed across her eyes.

She tried to think of more words to say about that day. She couldn't.

"The lie is seeing my death," she said instead, almost a whisper. "I always jump back in time before I can die."

She hated it. She hated that fact. She hated how weak she was. She hated how afraid she was. She hated how selfish she felt.

She hated that James had sacrificed himself for her.

James felt his head starting to spin.

She could travel back in time. She could change the future.

He'd died, and she'd reversed it. Butch killed him, and almost killed Evaline, and that was why she had been so shaken when they left the town, almost to the point of tears. That was why she'd been so insistent that they leave. That was why she'd asked him to trust her, why she'd taken his hand without hesitation, and got up on the horse, ready to go.

She'd... watched him die?

And gone back to save him?

James felt his throat tightening again, and his eyes stung. It hadn't happened, and yet it did.

"You--"

His heart was starting to race, but on the outside, he was still.

If Butch almost killed them, that meant Butch was still following them.

James felt the most primal kind of fear take hold, and it took everything within him to not get up, put the saddle on Elliot, and ride away. His lower back started to burn like his skin was reliving the memory in that shed when the scalding metal met his flesh. He pictured the metal meeting his throat, bubbling, and melting through. Or worse, Evaline, at Butch's mercy.

He pinched his eyes shut.

He couldn't panic. He couldn't afford to panic.

He forced his eyes open and looked down at Evaline. He reached out, his hand hovering over her.

This was different. This wasn't a pointless little compliment.

He put his hand on her shoulder, hoping she'd turn to look at him.

She couldn't stop it. She couldn't stop her body trying to fight this truth.

Everyone in the war knew what she was capable of. She was special. She was somehow able to change the future. No other people with time powers have done that before. She still didn't understand the full limitations, but she knew the downfalls. The consequences.

She also knew how to avoid the consequences. One of them was to keep a lid on her emotions. Another was to never make things personal.

She was breaking both of these rules right now.

It was like her body had created a dam full of emotions inside of her, and a tall wall surrounded this dam. The wall could be made infinitely higher, holding infinite emotions. But if anyone were to tear down these walls, everything would flood.

She felt as thought there was a small leak in those walls.

A string of emotions flowed through her veins, and she didn't know what to call it. Pain? Regret? Anguish?

She tried to patch up the hole on the wall, but she couldn't blink back the tears. It stung, the same way it did when she glanced back at James to see him take his final breath before the gunshot was triggered to hit her head.

James had put his arm on her shoulder, perhaps for comfort, or perhaps to get her attention. But she couldn't face him.

Because most of all, she hated others seeing her weakness.