~nariel~

This was awesome. I can totally feel for Carolina. I have one nit-picky thing though. Why must people I never interact with and never get to know hate me so ...

Hey Ayra, This was really good, don't get me wrong, but like the other people who reviewed this, I'm a bit confused. I think I get it, but most people ...

To tell you the truth, I didn't finish reading this. I stopped half way through. It started out okay, the descriptions were good, dialogue was good, and characters were okay. ...

Hello seeminglymeaningless, Thanks for reviewing my story, so, I of course, will review yours! One, this was a very good story. I like how the story is going so far ...

Hey, I like this. It's a little long to be doing a line by line critique, but I'll give you some pointers. It was a little confusing how you kept ...

No no, not too long. I just took a long time to read it. :) Hey, Okay. I really liked this. Your descriptions were nice and the pacing was good. ...

Hey, I'm here! First, your dialogue seemed a little bit strained. I don't think people would really talk like that. Try watching how the characters in a fantasy movie talk, ...

Hmmm. The beginning part of this piece was like something I would read on the back of a book. The rest was so so. I think you could do more ...

Hello! My name is Nariel and welcome to YWS. First, I suggest that you put spaces in between your paragraphs so it's easier to read. Nobody likes reading big blocks ...

Ooooooh, I'll comment. Okay, one, the Northerners are pretty awesome. I love penguins and reindeer. Seccond: So this is basically the outline of the beings who live in your world, ...

Hello, I know you're going to edit it soon, but I'll still comment on what I saw anyway. Yes, I think there is too much description and it overpowers your ...

Hello! I enjoyed reading this a lot. But, I have to agree that I could't really feel for your character. At the end of this I was just like: Ok, ...

Excelent! I liked this piece, it was very very good, but I have a few nit-picky things I want to point out. Your characters are a little bit bland in ...