~Volant~

Really cool! Now she has a friend, Yay!! *claps* One thing, though: I was overfilled with joy! ahaha, I don't think overfilled is the right word. You can use "overwhelmed" ...

I agree with the others. Please, space, mate. If I go blind, I blame you. haha. I would like more pathos. She seems too lassez-faire about her mom dying and ...

Hm. Can't say I liked "The Outsiders." Not very good flow, not very realistic characters, and sometimes the setting was like, "Um, i don't think so." I think the only ...

I don't like him, I tried to read the first, and stopped. I just couldn't stand him. He was so arrogant and smug. I just couldn't stand this about him. ...

I liked the idea, but all I saw was a blur of color as the story rushed by me. lol. Maybe, slow it down a little? Add to the suspense? ...

I greatly enjoyed them too. I got an extensive new vocabulary from reading that book. heh. They were well writeen and had a great flow. Of course, there were the ...

I like it very much! Reminds me of the short little excerpts that you find at the beinning of Twilght (et al). I love those...lol. I don't see anything wrong ...

I very much enjoyed the idea. A weapon/armorpiece that seemed alive...very interesting! I like it! King Iongo knelt down to the grubby stone floor and desperately begged Teslarhi to spare ...

Quite a few grammar issues, but I'll fix that in a moment. It has great potential, but I agree with the others (Show don't tell). The story has a great ...

Ooh, radiation accidents! I like! :D However, I have no idea what her wings look like. Are they big and white and fluffy? Or are they heavy and torn and ...

Oh, I liked this! Very well written, and good flow! Well done, mate! Reagan swore aloud, but not above a whisper. His dad was upstairs, asleep, but the rules of ...

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow it down! This should be at least four chapters, at least! You cram waaaay too much into one, you leave your reader staring at the page ...

Interesting plot and characters, but it does lack a lot of things. “Why are you doing this?” Daun asked. A bit of a cliche, doncha think, mate? “I want more ...

I loved this! I love the beach! I wrote a poem about it once. The sea is wicked awesome!!! Only one thing, though: Along its surface the wind tears across ...

“I’m sorry about your family,” I said, “Not having food in all. You can come over here if you need more.” In should be and. Unless you wanted your character ...