User avatar

zoeybird13024

  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Shoes

    I loved this poem--short and sweet! I love rhyming poetry! To me, it doesn't flow right unless the poem either rhymes or twists and turns onward and that gives it ...

    May 2, 2008
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Ode to Jam

    Awww, how cute! I love it when I read cutesy, makes-you-smile poetry! It reminds me of an adorable children's book--have you ever considered writing children's books? I think you'd--no, I ...

    May 1, 2008
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Dark storm of sorrow

    I feel bad because I'm the only one who, so far, didn't like it... I have a few nitpicks and then on to why I didn't preferably like it. but ...

    May 1, 2008
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Rain Down

    Raindrops danced on a quiet breeze... Shouldn't it be "rain drops"? Not "raindrops"? Or you could even hyphenate it. Raindrops danced on a quiet breeze, capturing glimpses of the moonlight; ...

    May 1, 2008
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Don't Slip Away

    I agree--stanzas would make this easier to read. Also, the end of the poem rhymes but the beginning doesn't. It messed with the flow--the end flowed perfectly, but not along ...

    May 1, 2008
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Unbound

    I really liked this poem, both the meaning and the flow. I have the habit of drumming my fingers against things without even knowing it, and I realized that I ...

    May 1, 2008
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Song in My Head

    Short and sweet! I only have a few suggestions to highlight what others said... The beginning in the end don't really match. Unless that song had something to do with ...

    May 1, 2008
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: The Up

    1. Do you think that it was a bit corny? Corny? No, it's adorable! I loved it! 2. Was a bit too childish? Childish? No, it was adorably playful! I ...

    Apr 28, 2008
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: A Ranger in the Night

    I'm not going to nitpick--there's nothing to nitpick, actually! There were few words, but it was a beautiful poem. Lovely flow and everything. I saw a lack of descriptive words, ...

    Apr 28, 2008
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: The truth about celebrity.

    Yes, I disagree--this poem was perfect the way it is! You don't need to change the rhyming around or anything! It had a nice flow, a nice rhythm, and it ...

    Apr 25, 2008
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: The end of the world

    Short, sweet, and to the point, BUT, it would be much better if it was longer. You really start to get a feel for a poem and the words are ...

    Apr 25, 2008
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Ode to Rasullulah

    Just like they said... This just isn't poetry--at all! No flow, no rhythm, no life, so passion--no nothing. I suggest you try to space it out, number one, add flow, ...

    Apr 25, 2008
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: You make me want to...

    Awww, that's a sweet poem! It conveyed cutesy romantic feelings AND it had a nice flow and rhythm, which isn't always present in a poem. I just had one nitpick... ...

    Apr 23, 2008
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Simply As That

    That was a really nice poem! And it had a flow! I cannot tell you how often I read poetry that has no flow! This poem seemed like wise advise, ...

    Apr 22, 2008
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: crow

    It has already been said that... a) this wasn't even a poem and that b) you put no effort in this at all And I must agree. It doesn't make ...

    Apr 22, 2008


if ya mention chickens, i have to show up, that is the law.
— alliyah