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Re: Forever Without Love: Chapter One (Edited)
I love your ability to kill off the main character the first chapter--I would have hesitated until the third. Just wanted to start off with that!!! ^^ I think that ...
Jul 7, 2008 -
Re: Immortality, Wealth, Sex, and Power.
Wonderfully written! I praise you as the rest have--it's a wonderful thing to preach (if such a word can be used--what about 'poetically approached instead?) about these things and admit ...
Jul 4, 2008 -
Re: A Shiny Reddish Colour (Edited 6/3)
Gorgeous!!! I'm left with no nitpicks...but I don't need to nitpick your work, anyway! I find it much better than my own, your knowledge of this particular time in the ...
Jun 5, 2008 -
Re: Dear Mr. Writer
Everything flowed wonderfully to me except for this stanza... The letter was, in places- a reasonable way to cheat, maybe even sway this old codger. But as for giving me ...
May 31, 2008 -
Re: Lancing
Beautiful! All of your works are, though, so that isn't much of a surprise, is it?! I want to go into medicine and was overwhelmingly giddy when we learned about ...
May 31, 2008 -
Re: A Drunk Paul Revere
I must admit, the title dragged me in as well! I thought, "Now, what does Paul Revere do drunk, eh???" and thus, I was obliged to read it. Marvelous! I ...
May 30, 2008 -
Re: British Love, Boston Affection
I find myself reading all of the things in your portfolio now, Jess. ^^ Lucky you!!! Beautiful--I loved it! I agree that Welcome is a nice name--a bit odd, but ...
May 29, 2008 -
Re: Standing Still
note: the germans did not hang their victims, they gased them, or shot. If they were hung, it was not common, and if you want your reader to understand it ...
May 13, 2008 -
Re: War
Their blood falling, as red a poppies. Their blood falling, as red as poppies Other than that, the flow and rhythm were fantastic! This poem was very moving--I could even ...
May 13, 2008 -
Re: Fear.
Just one little nitpick and then I'll go on about how much I liked it... You reveal are darkest nightmares. You reveal our darkest nightmares. It should be "our" not ...
May 8, 2008 -
Re: Umbrellas and Stars
Beautiful! I loved the imagery! May I ask, where did you get this idea from? It's very original. So oringinal, in fact, I'm just curious as to what inspired you. ...
May 8, 2008 -
Re: Snow
Short, sweet, full of emotion--I liked it! I'm trying to discover the hiding meaning, but all I can think about is one time in my writing when my character slits ...
May 7, 2008 -
Re: Death of a Fairy
I think rhyming would have added a nicer flow to it, but it was fine how it is! I loved it! I just have one little nitpick... I showed them ...
May 6, 2008 -
Re: Beyond my window
I loved this poem! It drew me in from the first couple of lines. Flow, rhythm, personification, rhyming, description--I couldn't find anything wrong with this poem! It was refreshing to ...
May 3, 2008 -
Re: dear diary
Dear diary, Dear Diary, "Diary" should be capitalized. Today is Wednesday December 16th 1894. The weather in London has been absolutely freezing and my day has had quite a few ...
May 3, 2008
