Beyond my window’s dusty pane,
Either side the travellers lane,
The meadows fold,
Like seas of gold,
Wreathed in plants
That nature grants
To embroider its flaxen gown,
Adorned in flowers wild and rare,
And though the trees have been stripped bare
By winter’s hands
Throughout the lands,
The sky, like milk,
Or palest silk,
It wears like a silver crown.
And in summer’s golden glow,
Sometimes crimson poppies grow,
A coaxing breeze,
That beckons the trees,
Even the nettles,
Bow down as it settles
Upon the swaying grass,
The red wings dance above the fields,
Enjoying what the summer yields,
Before it’s too late,
And due to fate,
The winter’s here,
And all the year,
Is ended with a frost,
Grief will slowly freeze the lake;
With all its life, it yearns to wake.
In spring, the reeds,
Dance as they please,
With the elegant and graceful breeze
That spring time always brings
Soon the stars will wear a veil,
Hoping spring might fast prevail,
The waters, cold,
A pose they hold,
Grieving as
The great crevasse
That winter makes is split apart
Inside it’s springtime-loving heart.
The stubborn reeds refuse to dance,
Ignore the breeze’s frail advance
For the winter’s wind is not, by far, as graceful as the springs.
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139,610 Literary Works • 672,619 Reviews
Imagery is beautiful, rhythm really works (although I think you may have lost it in the last couple of stanzas) and all in all a lovely piece to read.
I really enjoy reading poetry like this, most of the time I find it really hard to write about things that truly exist around us. Keep up the good work, can't wait to read your next one.
beautiful.
Hi Charlie!
I really like this poem, I didn't knnow you wrote pieces like this.
This imagery is beautiful and the style of poem is simple and easy to follow. I found it easy to read read.
I agree with the comments above though. It is quite long but i feel that the stanzas each hold an important meaning.
keep writing!
x
I loved this poem! It drew me in from the first couple of lines. Flow, rhythm, personification, rhyming, description--I couldn't find anything wrong with this poem! It was refreshing to read something about nature. I could see the landscape changing as I read! Keep writing!
That is a start and a good pome.
It's all well and good, but you tell us a place, which you could do it in less stanzas. Because overall it gets boring after a while, this couldn't stand on it's own without something other than showing us a nature scene.. But in all those stanzas you lose people interest after a while. When I first read this poem I could think of what bothered me. People are supposed to get something from poetry.
Overall: If you write a poem about nature make it more action, animals, birds, plants. Then it'll will interest people.
Good luck
VSN
Very, very good! I love your wide range of poetic elements in there. It shows that you love to write poetry. Not bad for a novice!
I absolutely love this
You obviously used a ton of poetic devices like imagery, personification, simile, etc. and I think that's great. I loved your detail in the imagery you used, and I felt like I could picture every stanza. Great job!
obviously I don't have any criticism haha