ziggiefred

Hello there I liked this poem. But the repeating...not so much. Maybe you could have separated the poem into stanzas to try and make it work. You know, the 'have ...

Hello there sillyducky In a hot tub on a starry night, six girls sit. The warm water swirls around their bodies as they giggle and laugh about random things and ...

Hello there. I really did not like the repeating phrase, it was annoying so to speak. If you want to repeat this, why don't you try and leave the 'I ...

Hello there. This is a great poem, I liked it a lot. It's very deep and you managed to get enough emotion in there as well. "The moon is beautiful ...

Hello there I think I agree with snoink on the fact that this was abstract. It painted nothing in my head. There was a serious lack of emotion and connection ...

Hello there :) "One fifteen", I like that title (it speaks to me ;) ). Anyway, this was really good. You really have control over your grammar and vocabulary. I ...

Hello there This was quite a lengthy poem. You must have been really inspired! The length affected the quality of the idea because as it went towards the end, it ...

Hello there. Yikes, I thought this poem was bit disturbing :). But it was totally genius.Very creative I think. There was just a little lack of emotion in some parts ...

Hello there :) So this story has potential. I will just outline some of the problem areas. Bumping my head against the overhanging bar in the bathroom stall I nearly ...

Hello there. Cute avatar! :D I liked the poem. I liked the flow of the first part. The Dark, Endless blackness, Endless grief, Endless unhappiness, Endless shade, That part. And ...

Hello there and welcome to YWS! :) So, for my comment, I would have to say this was a good piece but there were a few bit and pieces that ...

Hello there and welcome to YWS! :) So, this was aa good poem in general. The problems I had was the lack of punctuation in all of it. You left ...

Hello there fixed. I liked this. I like the way you use your words and it made this really deep. There was a great flow of emotion. I can tell ...

Hello there There are quite a number of spelling errors in this. Also, you did very little storytelling and there was no emotion to make it believable, I know you ...

Hello there Wow, I love this. The way you describe things is just perfect and clear images are formed in my head. I like your writing style. I don’t even ...