xXTheBlackSheepXx

“No, no, and no. That’s final.” Henry , a young adult in his early twenties, spoke in an exasperated tone. that information is definitely unneeded in the first sentence. Joseph ...

Hi! From your description this sounded really interesting, so I'll do my best to review! I'm not going to repeat any of the grammar corrections the other reviewers made, because ...

I was strolling outside under the beautiful night sky. The stars looked like tiny droplets of light hanging above the clouds. I really felt like flying in the sky and ...

Hey again Mike :) I read this chapter this morning while I was having breakfast x) Prince sings softly. He doesn’t hear the crunch of the child’s approaching footsteps but ...

Wow, you did a really good job on this O_O I really liked it. My favorite part was the beginning: Mommy went to heaven Yesterday In room 342. I watched ...

Prince breathes John’s scent as he rushes pulls his stolen horse to a stop beside the railway and dismounts. I think something here sounds a little off. Wow, this really ...

John brushes the its hair back and smiles. Tiny error, I don’t think there should be a ‘the’. Gosh, I was so engrossed in your writing that I didn’t exactly ...

A long time ago, there used to be a town called Ocultos lama which is Spanish for Hidden Flame. All the people living there had a Hidden Flame inside of ...

Instead of making an author’s note, why not just include the details in the story x) ? Anyways, I liked this. I liked the names for some reason, they were ...

High School. If I was to explain it, I think it would be best described as a hierarchy of sorts. You see, you have all your typical cliques. Cheerleaders, sporty ...

The summer had finally decided to arrive in Farrowbrook, since most of June and July had consisted of rain and clouds and now that it was around twenty-one degrees, most ...

The medical sanction of the Hawk, Base 64's only airship nearly the size of a small barge this is not a complete sentence. I suggest putting a ‘was‘ between ‘airship‘ ...

I'm alone. I hear no noise. The sounds of battle are entirely dissapaited dissipated . I inch from behind the wall I cower behind. Seeing that the hallway is entirely ...

The woman lay on the bed panting, a distorted mess amongst the twisted blankets. She let out a spluttered cough as moonlight shone through the frosty window creating an eerie ...

Hey again :) Alright, so for this new chapter I'm even more confused. I see from your comment that this takes place in Israel, but I really couldn't have guessed ...