writeitalldown

I didn't think your work had a very good flow, the words just kind of seemed forced together. It's vocabulary is moderately advanced and not at all lacking. The meaning ...

I'm simply blown away, sorry I'm no help but amazing job, I loved the short sentences it was very creative and made me stop breathing every time, I'm in awe... ...

I'm simply blown away, sorry I'm no help but amazing job, I loved the short sentences it was very creative and made me stop breathing every time, I'm in awe... ...

I would just like to thank-you for writing this very emotional and well written poem. I have no useful advice that could be of advantage to you, except for "keep ...

Amazingly raw. What I would like to see is it more broken up into stanzas, to help the flow that you have. But overall, good-job.

I love the beginning, it's strong and flows very well! But I think the emotion of this poem could be expressed in more detail and length. If you added some ...

...Okay. So, I fixed the "which wait, a short wait to rot" to "which wait, a short while to rot". Then I fixed the error "The world silently dies" to ...

You have a great start, I think with some adjustment to structure, flow, some more lines.....and, you will have an amazing astrological poem, let me know if you continue with ...

Well you need not my opinion as you have many but for what it is worth this is very simple clear yet powerful, something many can not do, so talent ...

This is VERY good, and you have a bright future ahead of you if you continue like this!!! Everything is perfect, you are going to get absolutely sick of me ...

Worth continuing? Defintley. You need to find your writing style, your writing like its facts. The death didn't seem emotional...MORE EMOTION!!!! Goodluck!!!!!

Sorry to be a nuissance but I noticed in the beginning you used the word "groan" alot..... "Groaning I shot my hand out from under the warmth of my comforter" ...

Sorry to be a nuissance but I noticed in the beginning you used the word "groan" alot..... "Groaning I shot my hand out from under the warmth of my comforter" ...

Amazing..second chapter, please.

So, sad. I promise to comment later, after my head is clear.