wreckergirl21

I really like this idea and what not, I wish you hadn't written in a short story form because I think if you expanded this and wrote it in chapters ...

Not to be rude but the font is so small that I couldn't even like read it all without pausing.... And what's worse is the fact it's on the computer ...

Hmmmm.... Well this sounds interesting I guess, but the thing is you have a lot of spelling mistakes and your writing style needs a little work perhaps. I want to ...

Heylo there, I will begin with saying that this story is deffinately interesting. Maybe a little simple, but I hope to see you expand on it in a better way. ...

I'll be blunt, I hate the way you set this up. The story it's self is fine but I hate reading something like this, if you put a space between ...

Eh well I suppose that the title matches this piece completely. The perfection factor is a little over powering though, not that it's bad, just someone like me wants to ...

Comparatively speaking, the prologue hooked me a lot more than this chapter. It was a very good chapter, but not as good as I expected. Also I have no idea ...

I have only one problem with this story. I found several spelling mistakes, other than that there's no issues, so you just need to be aware of the words you ...

All right then.... This story is like wow already and this is just a prologue. A prologue is meant to hook the reader, and you clearly accomplished this. It leaves ...

This has a ton of potential, it's unique that's for sure. It makes you want to read more even though it's a little confusing. Over all I would rate this ...

Hummmmm.... This makes me want to read more... only one question, if it's a story of her death how did she write it? That would be my only comment on ...

Let me start with the fact that this story is very good, I found almost no issues with it what so ever. Also the uniqueness of it, all though the ...

Hmm.... Well this is a generally good idea, siblings against each other and revenge. Except for I would like to point out I think the last part, the letter, is ...

Wow, I would like to say I love this idea. The idea of a perfect kind of government and civilization is always interesting. Although it is a very widely used ...

Let me begin with the fact that this kind of beginning is very over used. A teen who moves far too much and has to start over in a new ...