Perfect

by Jalmoc

Published August 28, 2012

In Love Stories

I watched the sunlight through the hazy window, relishing in the small amount of heat that it gave off. My dark brown eyes sparkled back at me in the reflection, making me blink several times in fascination. The last months of summer were here, and it had been a bright sunny one. Movement outside of the window caught my attention, and a blur of blue flew into the tree that was right outside of it. A beautiful Blue-Jay started singing melodically as it swayed back in forth in the tree, listening to the music only it could hear.

    Another reflection appeared in the window, gazing at the same thing I was. Blue eyes as majestic as the sky glimmered with excitement as they fell upon the bird. Soft skin brushed against mine as she pushed her way towards the window, pressing her nose to the glass.  A wide smile stretched across my face as she lit up with excitement and small chuckle escaped my lips as she kept pushing her sandy hair out her face to see the bird better.

    “It’s not nice to laugh daddy.” The girl said in a mocking voice. I only laughed harder at her attempt to mimic her mother. She smiled brilliantly, her mother’s features really reflecting in her smile. She climbed into my lap and gazed at the bird, her eyes mesmerized on the vibrant blue of it’s feathers. Gently, I brought my hand up and stroked her head, feeling her soft hair flow through like water down a stream.

   

    The sweet smell of baked goods wafted into the living room, making her jump with more excitement. She clambered off of my lap, eager to find what was causing the delicious aroma. The soft sound of her bare feet pattering into the kitchen was a pleasant sound to me. Eagerly, I stretched and walked after her.

    When I walked through the door to the kitchen my heart dropped as it always did. Standing next to the stove was the love of my life, the reason that I got up each morning. A strand of sandy blonde hair was hovering in front of her face as she smiled at her little girl. She took her hand and let her help decorate the cookies that she had pulled out of the oven. Silently, I leaned against the frame of the door watching them. Everything felt right, just the way it was supposed to be.

    My wife looked over at me and smiled the most warm smile I’ve ever experienced. I felt my heart melt in its place, stunned by how beautiful she was. My daughter started giggling and laughing at us, saying, “Mommy and daddy sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!” I let a laugh out and gently took her in my arms.  This is the way my life should be, everything just perfect.

Comments & reviews · 5
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ema1 Review
ema1 wrote a review Review · Sep 2, 2012

Your descriptions are very well written. This story just radiates happiness but it might be a little too perfect? I mean the story is good but maybe it could use more surprises. Good job though, it was a nice read!

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Innergy
Comment
Innergy commented Comment · Aug 29, 2012

Absolutely Magnificent peace of work. Keep it up!!! I love the family moment, it's.........PERFECT!!!

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wreckergirl21
Review
wreckergirl21 wrote a review Review · Aug 28, 2012

Eh well I suppose that the title matches this piece completely. The perfection factor is a little over powering though, not that it's bad, just someone like me wants to gag at how perfect things seem to be in this. Your descriptions are very nice though, I like the way you describe things. Over all nice job.

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Ardor
Review
Ardor wrote a review Review · Aug 28, 2012

Hey there :) I liked how you used the reflection in the mirror, and it was generally a really happy piece. I liked how you used the title at the end. My only comment, is that it is all TOO perfect. I would have preferred something more shocking and unpredictable, to create irony. Other than that, good job :)

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HHemayed
Review
HHemayed wrote a review Review · Aug 28, 2012

Hi there! I've got to admit how nice your story is. It totally grabbed my attention, truly fascinating! Well done!

I don't think it needs fixing, but there is one thing that caught my attention, but I'm not sure how it's supposed to be. Here it is:
You wrote: ( Movement outside of the window)
I think it should be: (Movement outside the window)

:D That's pretty much it. Good story. Good writing. :) Keep it up!



The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal.
— H. L. Mencken