winters

Thank you for the review. I should probably have mentioned before, but this is only the first part I've written for it. The pacing isn't quite working for me, so ...

This can't be Bush. He pronounced "gay" correctly.

I once licked a battery. Not the same, I know, but it felt awesome!

This is good. I can't wait to read more.

This is really too short to critique.

Heh heh. All I can say is that time will tell.

Thanks for the critique! I try not to island hop, but there are three central characters through which the battle unfolds, I only jump from character to character when neccessary ...

This was a very good story. I find it refreshing to see younger writers tackle these deeply emotional matters. Keep up the good work.

The Pepsi challenge just wasn't enough? The only problems i noticed were mentioned above.

The narration could be more present, instead of having the characters talk back and forth freely. And why is it that in fiction paper airplanes always fly right where they're ...

Again I've been tricked out of IQ points...

It was good. I can see the lack of description as plot teqhnique for introducing the events of the prologue in later chapter. If the soldiers and scientists aren't especially ...

There should be spaces between dialogue and new paragraphs. I noticed a few places where the tense switches from past to present. Overall, its pretty good. Reads like a post-war ...