ultraviolet

Hey! Here to review again. Jordan disappeared, running like the wind as usual. It was incredible that the rubber soles of her shoes hadn’t been completely worn away. My friends ...

Hi! “Hi Mimi,” “How was school?” “Where did you go afterwards?” This is a good example of your dialogue, which in and of itself is pretty good. But also close ...

Hey! Here to review as requested. We were two tornadoes on the same path spinning two opposite directions, and there wouldn't be any easy way out of this. No matter ...

Hi! Here's the review you actually asked for. :) She held the fifth pregnancy test in her trembling hands. Okay, we understand they want a child, and think that maybe ...

Hi! I know you requested a review on the second chapter, but my own odd self feels weird if I don't review the first chapter as well. Your new home ...

Here to review, as requested. :) The strides he took from the stairwell to the master bedroom were unconsciously quick and silent. He paused his walking at the doorway whe ...

Hey! I know I said I'd review the last chapter first, but I started reading this, and thought I'd review it while it was fresh in my mind. Okay, so ...

Hey! Overall, I love this. The writing's nice and the descriptions are good as well. I really like the POV, how she acts so naive and innocent, just following him, ...

Hey there! Since this is really, really good, there are only a couple things I'm going to point out. And by worst sunburns, I mean we pretty much burst into ...

Hey! Here to review for you. (Since this is so long, I'll probably only end up stating the things that jumped out most to me, so sorry if this seems ...

Whereas sargsauce spoke more on her and her mother, I'm going to focus a little more on her and John. Since you said John only kissed guys, I'm assuming he's ...

Hi there! ‘plink!’ I'm not entirely sure, but I'm fairly certain that you should take away the quotation marks and put "plink" in italics, to indicate it's a sound. What ...

Hey! Like the other's said, this pulled me in without my really even noticing. If you knew me you'd know that was no small feat, but you did it. But ...

Hey! Back again. So, this is probably my favorite of your chapters. They seem to get better every time. I don't really have any content things, and I'm not really ...

Here again. :) Okay, so in all actuality, this is pretty good. There's really only two things I've found to critique. One is, as Rascalover said, that this can get ...