The Nature of Change

Beautiful.. This was just as incredible as the last story of yours that I read. Only, it was just so different, all I could keep thinking about was, "Whoa, this kid's got range." And really, you do. That's such a great thing I think, to be able to write the way you do and yet be able to change it up so dramatically without changing your style.

As I sort of commented in my other review, the hardships your characters face seem so realistic. And even just the little details like the Bill Nye science guy thing! I remember watching him back in the days. (As if I'm that old.) I like how you included such fine details. You're very perceptive. It's something I truly respect in writing. It's almost like you don't have to think, the way it seems to come out as I read through the story. Effortless. It screams so clearly that it's not this good writer you're aiming to be, the talent just simply exists -so you write. Humbling..

One of the parts I wanted to point out that I liked a lot was this:

Joan said that, in the winter, she feels we’re connected. She said that everything becomes subdued and quiet under the snow. That if she just stands there, besides the sound of the wind, she feels like she knows what it’s like for me.

I don't think I couldv'e ever had the sense enough in myself to describe such a thing. "...everything becomes subdued and quiet under the snow." Because your main character was deaf, this imagery was so perfectly played. The gears started turning in my head as I connected each little detail together, and it all flowed so nicely.

I think I could literally drone on and on about this, but I'll spare you your eyes. Overall, an EXTREMELY good job. I hate to critique whatever technicalities are off, because in my eyes, there was nothing. Thanks for the awesome story. I really enjoyed reading it, and I hope you write more soon.

Hey! Here to review for you. (Since this is so long, I'll probably only end up stating the things that jumped out most to me, so sorry if this seems inadequate, which it probably will be.)

They repeated Deaf Jeff Deaf Jeff

Firstly, the it should look like "They repeated 'Deaf Jeff, Deaf Jeff.'"

Secondly, yes people could tell him what they're saying, but would be really know that's what they're always saying? Sure, for this case it's believable enough, but it seems like a lot of the times he either knows (or at least understands where he may not be able to) what people are saying. Not like he hears, but like he doesn't need an explanation - he just knows. I've actually noticed a lot in this that, while it's clear he doesn't hear anything, he seems to understand what things sound like. Like with the Bill Nye thing - yes, he knows that pigs squeal, but the way you wrote it, the way the translator explained it and how he responded, it was as though he knew what those things sound like, like he can grasp it. But how? Since he can't hear, he'd have no way to compare things, nothing to go by. They could try to explain things, but could he even try to understand what it actually means? It just seems off to me.

The rabbit shot off like a dart; it’s ears bobbed above the snow before I lost sight of it.

Um, am I missing something when I say, What rabbit?

I didn’t hear anything. I supposed it was too quiet.

I don't know much, scientifically, about this subject, but I'm sure that being deaf and suddenly being able to hear is a lot like spending the day in your house, alone, in quiet, and then suddenly a fire alarm goes off, except louder. It just seems like this is wrong; if he's never heard anything, all sounds should jump out at him, attack him. He's used to silence - the loud should seem almost unbearable, if it's loud at all. And at least he should hear them. Unless the operation (is that what happened? I'm a little unsure) wasn't very good, or make it very loud I mean. Not necessarily not good. He can hear.

Okay, so I know this is probably a pathetic review, but I want to say I like this. It's pretty original, and we get to know the characters. I like the way you portray his being deaf, and how you cross off their dialogue. All in all, this is very good. Sorry if I couldn't be more help.

loveness, ultraviolet <3