tronks

Your story is somewhat cute overall, but if it was well written I could enjoy it as something more than just a faint chuckle. Look at your opening: The dog ...

I'll start here and simply. She slipped out of her work uniform seductively, Why do you need this adverb here? You don't. Because look at the rest of your sentence ...

I like the way the piece tries to throw us into action but the beginning lines don't really draw me in. Everything about the writing style just needs a slight ...

Wotcher! Why have you replaced periods with commas? Is it a stylistic thing? I like the way the story begins, and your use of description too. I think you've melded ...

Wotcher! So I did like this poem, but it was a little convoluted. It doesn't really seem to tell a story or anything, it's like a rant of emotions and ...

Wotcher! I'm not sure how I found this, but I enjoyed it. I enjoy the procrastination theme and relating it to a bird. It feels like even something as minuscule ...

Hello there! This was a nice short piece, clearly very dramatic! I liked the writing as well, but some bits don't come across as intended and could be fixed up ...

A dystopian! I'm always interested in dystopian pieces. Your writing style has a lot of promise though there are issues here and there with, but first I'll give you my ...

Your tenses often switch around throughout, and it was difficult to read at times. It has promise, it just needs a solid edit. I've edited the first paragraph so you ...

I know little about poetry, so I can't really critique this. But I can give an overall review! I like the feeling that you've portrayed here. To me it feels ...

:o Aww, this was cute. It was nice to see that in the end the little event that changed our narrator so much was his father teaching him how to ...

You say it's a prologue and as a prologue it's done its job! It drew me in, adding a little bit more and a little bit more sentence by sentence ...

I enjoyed this, although it was a short piece. I think it was short and simple like that and overall was a good example of how now is just that, ...

You've definitely done your job drawing reader attention because I feel that I was interested within the first few lines and I wanted to continue on. By the time I ...