timjim77

I'm guessing this is parody. But the subject og the parody is vague, other than poorly written poetry. I did like your jumbled syntax. That was amusing.

Lovely lovely. Use punctuation and in this line: "Still I feel his soul cry out to me" remove the word out. Supreme job.

Nice work. One more thing. You need some punctuation. The lines flow too much into each other and it becomes confusing. Congrats, you have a great poem on your hands. ...

Thanks. Edit made.

Wonderful imagery, and great title. Watch your punctuation in a few places, especially the semicolon. I love the last stanza. What a wonderful way to describe it, 'waiting to be ...

Thank you. The story is in Non-Fiction because it is based on true events in my life.

This poem was quite cute, yet it didn't come off as being trite. Simple and sweet. I liked it. I wish I could rumba into the fiery sunset. Good imagery.

Once again, brilliance. Suggestions: Kool aid?

Addendum added.

The last stanza nearly brought me to tears. I wasn't even sure if I liked it at first, but the imagery is too gbrilliant not to. Totally agree with xanthan ...

This has become one of my favorite poems on the site. I've read it again and again. The potency of it is captured in the final line. That final line ...

I guess it's a girl thing, because I didn't get this. I understood the cncept, but I just didn't find it at all moving or even worthwhile. I would love ...

Very clever. Nice job on such a difficult assignment. Corny, yes. But delightfully corny.

Oedipus anyone? While it was somewhat amusing, the end was a bit too gory for me. And the lesbian sex with your mother is kinda...cliche. I see that way too ...

I liked the political incorrectness. But to me, it didn't seem so much of a balad, as a story told in poem form. Balads are usually long, and have a ...