Published January 16, 2006
For once there was an interruption,
A brazen noise of insurrection,
Product of wayward intersection
Lacking further introspection.
Once there was a passive note
Sailing through a song by rote
A sad tone that wouldn’t float
So wearily, the way he wrote.
There was a silencing inside
That took the eunuch by surprise
The thing that he could never hide
Was hidden, as if it died.
For once there was an awesome drive
That kept the sullen man alive
The love and passion that once did thrive
Are now on the end of a dull knife.
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Canary word: Present
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140,861 Literary Works • 673,695 Reviews
Wow, this is simply amazing.
Thanks. Edit made.
I would remove "had" in:
Was hidden as if it had died
i loved the rhyme and the rhythm and the entire fact that you could support a beautiful meaning within such a beautiful work of art with words.
the use of "once" though, really made this poem sound better, though i don't know why.
stick with rhyming poetry - you really have a talent for it.
--take out or add a syllable in this line. (this is just a suggestion, of course.) it sounded fine until i read it aloud, as i usually tend to, in which it case it felt awkward.
Eunuch is spelled correctly.
Umm... lovely? I think you spelled Eunuch wrong. Don't ask me how I would know that, and don't ask me how to spell it cuz I don't know. Good rhyming though except for the second line of the third stanza and the fourth line of the fourth stanza. Otherwise I think it's good.