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theotherone

  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Trust (Chapter 2) and Author's Breaks!

    Hello, it's me again. :) Tired of my reviews yet? ;) To bad there is too many people on the bus , she thought grimly to herself. I wish I ...

    Jun 26, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Trust~Chapter 1

    Hello there. :) First off, I want to say that it's not very encouraging when you see that all those people corrected your chapter, and you haven't even done the ...

    Jun 26, 2011
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Losing Love

    Hello there. :) I'll begin with the nitpicks and then go on with my overall impression on your story. He got in the passenger seat, his mom already waiting in ...

    Jun 24, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Break that Fall {Chapter5}*edited*

    Hello again. :) " Whatcha' doin?" I think you forgot an 'h', but I'm not sure if you meant to write it that way. This was a cute chapter, and ...

    Jun 18, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Break that Fall {Chapter4}*edited*

    Hello Drama. :) I'm going to begin with nitpicks and then go on with my overall impression on the plot. "Why comma, oh why did I agree you could move ...

    Jun 18, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Love is Ignorance chapt.1

    Hello there. :) My eyes flickered open and I stared at the gray ceiling, waiting for Dad's reply The last thing I needed is to have been date-raped period. The ...

    Jun 17, 2011
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Kiss me in the rain, baby.

    Hello there. :) I'll begin with the nitpicks and then go on my overall impression on your story. The perfect two , he thought silently. This part should be in ...

    Jun 15, 2011
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: My story

    Hello Alabaster. :) I'll begin with the nitpicks and then go on with my overall impression of your story. As I sit on the coast of the stone cold ocean, ...

    Jun 15, 2011
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Last Chance...

    Hello there. :) I'll begin with nitpicks and then go on with my overall impression of your story. The sound seemed to echo through the long hall alerting everyone in ...

    Jun 13, 2011
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Run away (needs changing)

    Hello Haylie. :) I loved it, but I couldn't stay there anymore, not with my family not being able to understand me and not trusting me with anything I said ...

    Jun 13, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Am I Perfect Yet? (1)

    Hello Scarlet. :) Am I ever going to be perfect yet? Get rid of the quotation marks and the period and just put it in italics to show it's a ...

    Jun 12, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: A battle with an old friend

    Hello there. :) I'll begin with nitpicks and then go on with my overall impression of your story. "You think that will do anything? That it will change your situation? ...

    Jun 12, 2011
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: A Dream

    Hello Alpha. :) I'll begin with the nitpicks and then go on with my overall impression on your story. She brushed her hair away, the sweat on her face making ...

    Jun 12, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Please Don't Go: Chapter 2

    Hello Sammay. :) I woke up but kept my eyes closed. Something was poking my arms and I could feel a thin blanket covering my body. I was wearing a ...

    Jun 12, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Please Don't Go: Chapter one

    Hello there, :) I'm going to quote the whole thing so it's easier to correct. "Helga!" I screamed. "Look, Selena, we can get it ourselves comma, " My friend, Anna ...

    Jun 12, 2011


I write because I don't know what I think until I read what I say.
— Flannery O'Connor