tgirly

I feel like the line Her rose-blonde hair is in a bun, with white ribbon tied around the edge, should be broken into two lines.

I like the poem, but I don't think you should end two lines in a row with sleep. My favorite line was Threatening the moist air with a heat monster. ...

Here's a few more: Aaron=Aaden, Abram Seth=Stephan, Sven Logan=Landon

It was sad. I like that its simple. Poor Teddy Bear. I thought it had good flow. I think you should make the title shorter, maybe just call it Teddy ...

I like this poem, though I think it might be a little too short. Having said that, I do agree that that's part of its beauty, but maybe just a ...

I like it a lot, and I like the words in parenthases at the end of each stanza. My only critic is maybe you should change the (About me) to ...

I think it would flow a little better if instead of Which now look a bit more encouraging and bright, it was Which now look a bit more bright. I ...

I like the poem, though I think you should break the stanzas up a little more.

I really liked the poem. I thought it was deep and philosophical. I like how the poems flow together. However, I think that you could improve on the first poem's ...

Yeah, looking back, undestand isn't the right word. I like the poem a lot. I agree with tydecker777 that it's unique. That's more of what I was trying to get ...

I thought this was sooo funny!

I like this piece because it's so real. I like how you wrote it as if you were talking to her. I like the philisophicalness of it. It's very well ...

I liked the story. I feel like it's the first chapter of a story rather than a stand-alone story, though. I would read the next chapter, if it was. I ...

You have really long paragraphs. You need to break them up more so it's easier to read.

The sun's warmth, not the suns warmth. There were some other spelling mistakes, but I can't remember them. I didn't read the first chapter, but it's not confusing to me, ...