Published June 25, 2011
I never saw it change,
But there's something different than before.
There has to be a better way,
This yawning gap we can't ignore.
(Again)
I'm not gonna stand around,
Watch my whole life falling down.
I'm not staying on this ground,
I'm getting up and moving on.
(Finally)
What you mean to me,
Doesn't matter anymore.
If you're gonna bring me down,
I'm gonna spread my wings and soar.
(Away)
I'm letting go of this.
I'm letting go of us.
I'm not gonna stand and watch,
While my life fades away to dust.
(Around me)
You never saw my tears, you never saw my pain,
You smile at me, can't see me drowning in the rain.
You say you know me, but you can't see anything.
(About me)
I've tried so hard, I've fought so long,
But we're not getting anywhere.
I don't know why, it's hard to try,
When you don't even care.
(At all)
This is the end,
It's not what we wanted.
A new day begins,
Without you in it.
(It's over)
I can't believe, I didn't see,
What had to happen eventually.
But now it's so much better.
Without you holding me back, I'm finally free.
(To fly)
Because I'm letting go of this,
And I'm letting go of us.
It was a good dream while it lasted,
Let's go our own paths with no regrets.
This was for the best.
(Goodbye)
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139,524 Literary Works • 672,598 Reviews
Hi ya there Katrina!!!
Sooo.... this was pretty good. The Rhyming was inconsistent a little bit and I really didn't like the "gonna's" that it was packed with, it's such a fake word. Otherwise I like it, it reminded me more of lyrics than a poem and wasn't as dark and hurt as your other poems I've read so far, though it was still very touching. Keep up the awesome work!
~Dakota Knight
I like it a lot, and I like the words in parenthases at the end of each stanza. My only critic is maybe you should change the (About me) to something different than that. But other than that, I loved it.
Your work is amazing! I loved it. I will be watching for some of your work in the future.
Holy cat!!! You're writing is amazing!
I just wanted to tell you how wonderful this piece is. The only thing that confused me was, "If you're gonna bring me down, I'm gonna spread my wings and soar." I get that you are trying to say something along the lines of, 'I'm going to release myself from you because you are really not adding anything to me.' But that wasn't obvious to me at first. I had to think about it. Actually, it is probably a good thing that you are making me think. If that was not the intended meaning, please correct me. When you rhyme it flows well, at least to me, but I'm not a fantastic rhymer so don't take my word for it. I love that your poem how you can relate to it and it has meaning. I read some of your other pieces and they were awesome too. 