tanith14

As someone mentioned before, there seems to be an overall lack over urgency. Make the conflict greater! Build it up higher. That is the one thing I am counting you ...

As many posters have pointed out, this isn't a parity or a comedy. You took the book and made everyone hate each other. Granted, a few of the parts were ...

I thought this piece was very well done, only a few things here and there. Most of those have already been caught so let's go to the positives! Characterization was ...

Interesting concept, reminds me to get back to my witch hunter story. As someone already said, you need to watch your grammar mistakes (especially commas and capitalization). Also, be careful ...

I just finished reading the entire thing (chapter 1-6). I do like the story, so keep at it. In my opinion, your first chapter is very gripping and drew me ...

Well, Thunder really stole some of my thunder. He pointed out all the things I really wanted to say. My only other comment would some of the wording you choose ...

[part three] Your hands kept my pulled tight to you, our bodies banging off each other. I think they my needs to be me :wink: Overall comment, Your style reminds ...

“How do you know where they’ve taken him?” I whispered as we slunk through the bushes. We were back out in the forest and I was trailing the mind reader, ...

Hey Everyone, this is my entry to Vernon's Bed contest. In the story we must personify a bed so here's my story. Critisism is much appreciated! Speechless I still remember ...

:shock: That is all I have to say basically. I was very saddened when this segment ended. You are getting better and better with every chapter. My only critique would ...

Hey scasha, sorry I have been MIA for so long. I took a trip into the mountains and ended up staying MUCH longer than I had anticipated :shock: Anyways, I ...

After I finished your first chapter, I had to see the next chapter. I must say I am looking forward to reading parts 2 and 3 One of the things ...

Hey scasha, just thought I would take a look at something you wrote since you have been helping me so much. I love your characters and your character interaction was ...

Hey, Alright so I personally love your main character because she reminds me of my best friend and she is super cool. Just had to get that out of the ...

The originality of this is amazing so my hat is off to you miss for coming up with a creative idea. You have some good thoughts and some great lines ...